AH HA

So after hours of fiddling and some really sore eyes (all cause i am not all there today) i found the place in which you can turn it back to minima!

And TA DA!

What do you think. I really like it. It will take a bit of getting use to but over all i think i like the feel of it.

Screw Up

So i went to change my background on my blog. Instead of using the normal site i get my backgrounds from i ventured onto another site to try them out. Well it has me change some stuff in the settings and then put in the html code. When i realized it wasn't working like it should have i tried to get it back to normal and failed.

I can not for the life of me figure out how to get it back to minima (or what ever it is called) so that i can put a background back on it. So for the time being i guess i am stuck with hidious (well not that bad) programmed background.

Can someone help me out please. How do i get it back on Minima or Picture Window Templates? This is the first time i have had to mess with any of this since they changed the stuff around. Boo hiss lol! Maybe i should just do a blog makeover and have it done by professionals and personalized.

Christmas Cheer

So i have been trying really hard to shake this Grinchy mood i have been in.

Normally decorating the tree is a big hurdle for me. I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my tree. I dont like muticolored lights (they are pretty but just not for me). If we do multicolored lights then all orniments must be white, silver, or clear to off set all the color madness. This year Hubby decided on blue lights. Which i was fine with but I insisted we do a theme of silver, blue, and white to match the tree skirt.

The 2nd difficult part is the actual decorating. I tend to want everything just right. Lights evenly dispersed, balls put everywhere with no colors the same touching. As you can imagine this is pretty hard to accomplish with 3 small children. So intern i usually need meds to get me through the experience (joking honestly i dont have meds but sometimes think it would  be useful lol).

This is the first year we have had a real tree. Needless to say, blue lights and a real tree dont mix. You can hardly see the lights. Frustrating and disappointing really. Also to add to the stress, Sione' is allergic to the tree as proven by the rash on his cute cherub face.

So this is the tree after we finished it:

Looks a little sparse right. That is because you cant see the lights...ugh! Plus Hubby never got the other family ornaments out of storage for us to put on the tree. BOO!

I wish i had a pic to show you of what it looks like now. All the balls have been moved to the top of the tree out of a certain 1 year olds hands. The garland is no longer neatly wrapped around the tree but instead tossed in bunches here and there. And the lights well, they are bunched as well.

What i have found though.....

i am not in the least bit concerned. It looks a mess and I am OK with it. I am not stressed, upset, or even the least bit frazzeled over the fact taht the tree looks insane.

It is a freeing feeling really.

I do plan on redoing it on Christmas Eve before we put the presents under it. Some Blueberry Candy Canes will be there hanging on branches on Christmas Morning. And yes Santa will get the credit. Not only does he bring presents but he also rearranges trees. He is one great guy really.

So with a week til Christmas i am finally starting to get a little more into the Holiday Spirit. I was beginning to think i was going to get a visit from the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future if things didnt turn around.

Hope you all are blessed and enjoy this season with your families.

Praying and Praying

Here lately I have been praying a lot. For a number of things. Sometimes i wonder if God thinks i am just whiny.

I have been praying for patience a lot lately. It seems i have been doing a whole lot of yelling and not enough loving. I am stressed and worried and just not in an overall great mood. The yelling only adds to the stress and bad feelings. I feel like i am spiraling into a bit of a depression. I pray for help with all of this. Most of all the patience.

I have been praying for God to help me with the bad habits i possess. Despite the many tries i am still smoking. Maybe more now then ever. It has always been a roller coaster for me. I get down to less then half a pack a day and i tell myself, "ok now is the time to quit". Then it is like my body rebels and i start smoking like a freight train again. It is a vicious circle. I don't want to smoke so i ask god to take the addiction away. To help me not want this anymore.

I spend a lot of time praying for those around me who need his help.

I have been praying a whole lot for him to guide me to what i am suppose to be doing with my life. Am i suppose to just be a mother and wife? Do i need to go back to school? Do i need to find a way to get a job? I feel so lost. I need His guidance.

Then i sit and think. Am i asking Him for too much? I don't think i am but i do think i am asking for things and then not listening to the instructions. I sometimes feel like he is showing me the way but i am just missing the turns because i am too busy trying to avoid the potholes.

Does this happen to you? I know God promises he will be there for us but he does not promise that the road we walk will be without holes and bumps. He never promised a even flat road just a solid one. Is this my problem? Am i just not doing what he is leading me to do because i am to busy trying to avoid the bumpy road?

How how i wish things were just simple. There is so much to do and never enough time to do it in. So much stress and not enough stress relievers. Too much yelling and not enough smiling. Too much! Where is the balance?

I guess i need to pray more. Listen more. Have more faith that the answer he gives is the right one.

Fed Up

I have had it with our school system. I really am just at my wits end. When i posted about Phabian's school problems almost a month ago i thought i was their but now i know i am. Since the last post i have talked to the teacher a few more times and attempted to get in contact with the vice principal and principal to no avail. I have left messages, and even showed up. Nothing! Nada!

Today we got his report card for the semester. He got all "s" (satisfactory) except one. He got a "n" (non satisfactory) in completes independent work carefully. So maybe this isnt a big deal to anyone else but to me it is odd that a 5 year old, boy to boot, is expected to write neatly. Maybe i am reading into this too much or wrong but to me it just seems a little overboard. To add to it at the bottom of the page where the teacher can leave comments she said and i will quote here:

"Phabian is still doing very well, and is a good reader. His behavior has changed a little in this past 9 weeks. I'm hoping its due to the holidays and excitement going on around here. I'm sure he will come back ready to work and learn."

Now it has never been brought up to us in any meeting that he wasn't willing and ready to learn. For that matter it has always been told to us that he is a great student and loves to learn. He always finishes assignments quickly and picks up fast on new things. So i am confused by that last sentence. If there is a lack of work ethic going on it needs to be addressed.

It seems to me like a brush off of everything i have talked to her about. Like it was never discussed between us that Phabian has been acting out and how we could possibly correct or divert this behavior. I am just a little livid at the way the school is treating this situation.

But this is not why i am tyoing today. What i came here was to ask for help. I have decided to look into home schooling. I am lost a little as to where to start. I know a lot of mothers who blog also home school and i would like to talk to you guys. Where did you start? What resourses do you use? How do you keep your sanity?

I am not sure if i can do it or not. I am not sure if it is a affordable option for us as well. All i know is i am not happy with the way things are going and short of camping out at the school to catch the vice/principal at a free moment i am lost. So please if you home school or know someone who home schools send them to me. Give them my email, blog, what ever it is that you can to get into contact with me. I just want to get information and make an educated decision.

Death and a Funeral

Have i ever mentioned here how much i hate attending funerals? I am not really sure if i have so i will.

I really hate going to viewings, wakes, funerals, graveside services. Really anything having to do with the death of someone.

I believe this stems from the fact that i watched my grandma buried when i was 14 followed by my mother less then 4 months later, a month after my 15th birthday.

I also hate hospitals. to be more specific i hate going to the hospital to visit people who are dying. I spent a week straight sleeping in the waiting room of a hospital watching my mom die. I went home for a bath one time in that week because i was too scared she would die if i left.

The smell, the tubes, the doctors, the nurses, the tape, the machines! It all makes my stomach absolutely turn. Even the knowledge of going to a hospital makes me panic.

For these reasons i avoid as much as possible putting myself in these situations.

Unfortunately, sometimes things happen and we can not avoid facing life.

Back in September my Great Uncle who we called Unc was diagnosed with late stage prostate cancer. By the time they discovered it, the cancer had already spread to his lungs and liver. Needless to say the prognosis was not good. We still had faith. My family is very VERY strong in our faith. We know that sometimes the answer is not what we want to hear but none the less God always answers us.

(I will not go into details about his care because it is a whole other post to itself. I might write about it here later so that it can be a light to others. He was treated in a way that no person should ever be treated.)

Back in early November i went to visit Unc at the hospital. On the way there my husband watched as i started to panic. The closer we got to the hospital, the more i started to breathe deep, close my eyes longer, anything to keep from busting into uncontrollable sobs.

We visited with him that day for about 2 hours. His daughter, and one of my favorite people, walked us out. She hugged us and thanked us for coming. We talked and then departed. At the time no one thought he would make it through the week.

Fast forward to December 2nd, I received the call i had been dreading. Unc passed away peacefully with his family by his side.

Now to explain why i was dreading this i have to admit that i was being a bit selfish. I was not dreading his passing because i wanted him with me. Not that kind of selfish. He is much better off where he is now. Their is no pain or sorrow for him anymore. He is at peace with his family who went before him. I was selfish because i knew with his death came a funeral. And the thought of it made me panic.

The viewing was Saturday night. It went smoothly. I managed to force myself up to the casket to say my goodbyes. He looked great. Better then he did in the hospital. The peace on his face is only something that comes with death and the removal of the stress of this world.

I spent time with family who was in from out of state. We laughed. We looked at pictures. We cried a bit when someone told us a story about how Unc had helped them. He had 4 children, 6 grandchildren, and 4 great grandkids. He was blessed and we were blessed to have him.

Sunday was the grave side service. They opted for this rather then a service. I was thankful. Having to watch the coffin be closed for the last time is one of the hardest things for me.

As we stood around the grave side and listened as his kids and friends all spoke i laughed and sniffled. It was cold, and snowy. My feet were freezing. My heart way heavy. But i was amazed i was doing so well. And then it happened. A friend of Unc's daughters sang Amazing Grace.

I lost it. My legs went weak and my heart broke into. This is a song that they frequently sing at funerals. But for me it is the song they sang at my mom's. It is the song she sang to me as a child to calm me and put me to sleep. It is the song she sang while she cooked or at church on Sunday morning.

In the back of my head i heard her singing and i absolutely lost all the composure i had strained to keep.

This is why i hate this part of life. It is hard for me. I am stunted at 15 emotionally when it comes to death. I don't know how or if it is even possible for me to be able to get over it. All i know is at that moment and any other like this that i have faced, i break down to a heartbroken, devastated teen.

I don't remember anymore where i was going with this post or how i should end it, so i will share a memory.

Unc always had a nickname for everyone. If he called you by your given name it was probably because he didn't know you that well. My Aunt Kay was always Kadeedid, His daughter Kim was always Kimbo, my Brother was always Lil Bean (Unc was Big Bean) and me....I was Pickle Head. This could be because he just liked the name or it could be because for a whole year of my toddler years i would eat nothing but green beans and pickles. Either way it is a great memory for me.

'Tis The Most.....

.......Stressful time of the year.

A few days ago on my Facebook page i was telling (well posting for whoever was really reading) that cooking for the holidays is not stressful for me. I don't mind the hours spent in the kitchen or the dishes that don't come out perfect even after i have slaved over them all day. A matter of fact i love cooking for the holidays more then any other meal. It makes me feel full of joy and happiness at feeding my family. Knowing they are full, warm, and happy. It is GREAT (and probably a little weird to the rest of you)!

This Thanksgiving i cooked a massive meal to feed not just my family but about 15 people. I was excited! I normally only cook for the 4 (now 5) of us. It was great. I made turkey, ham, kale, mashed potatoes, gravy, baked mac n cheese, sweet potato casserole, rolls, and 2 pumpkin pies. Why 2 pies you ask? Well because i dropped the first one in the floor of course lol. Way to start out a morning i tell ya (consider this a Thanksgiving update lol).

Anyways back to the point of this post.

As i said, I don't find the cooking stressful in the least. I know things are bound to go wrong. My timing will be off, something might burn, something might get dropped (smile), and it is a guarantee that something will get forgotten until after we are finished eating (like the rolls). But i have come to accept this fact and just flow with it.

What i can not flow with is the never ending stream of "I want this", "Will Santa bring me this", " OH MY GOSH I have to have that". My kids change their minds like they change underwear. What they want today will be long forgotten tomorrow when they see a new commercial, for a new toy, that is even bigger and better. What was wanted yesterday is completely in the dust of today.

This leaves me in a tough spot when we did all of our Christmas shopping a month ago (we actually went earlier this year lol) and have all the presents we intended to buy in layaway as we speak. I have already told family and friends what to get the kids (we bought them both a tag reading system so books to go with that, trains to go with Phabian's Thomas the Train set, and Cars to go with MJ's race track, and clothes of course because Santa, Mommy and Daddy only buy toys). We are out of money and less then 25 days to Christmas.

We still have to buy for the 5 names we drew at my MIL's house plus my niece and nephew. This will probably take up the last little bit of free money we have. So all these late add ons the kids have requested from Santa are completely out of the question. I have tried to explain to the kids that Santa is also feeling the bad economy but somehow my 4 and 5 year olds just don't get what the economy has to do with Christmas.

It leaves me feeling drained sad exhausted stressed and a little like a failure.

Don't get me wrong we bought a lot for the kids. They will by no means go without a ton of presents under the tree. Plus they get presents from my brother, my dad, my MIL, aunts and uncles, and my aunts and grandma are coming in from Florida this year. They also go celebrate with a very close friend of ours who's parents consider them their grandkids and there for the rest of her family has adopted them as well. They will ultimately get more then they really need and everything there eyes can fathom.

So why in the world do i let this stress me so badly?

Why do i give in to the temptation to feel like a failure just because i cant buy them every single thing they want?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??????

Is it just me? Please tell me someone else out there feels like this as well? I need to let myself off easier but for some reason i just cant seem to do it. I wish i had some great psychological insight that i could share but i don't. LA SIGH!

So for now i am going to try to go relax and let it go. The kids will get what they get and what they need. They will not go without and ultimately i know when they wake up Christmas morning they will have those same looks of awe and excitement as they do every year.

I need to enjoy these fleeting years. Soon they will stop believing and start asking for extremely over priced electronics.

These Boys



These boys right here have the uncanny ability to drive me up one wall and down the other.

These boys right here have the ability to make the worst situations better just by smiling.



These boys right here....yes them...they are the reason my world turns.

These boys have my heart. And although they squeeze it a little too hard sometimes; They never abuse it.



The Day After

It is one of my favorite days.

The day after Thanksgiving.

Not because i love football.

Not because i get up at the butt crack of dawn to catch the deals.

Not because i am in a turkey induced coma.

But because it is so calm, so peaceful, and so full of nothing.

I woke up at 8 with the kids and fixed them breakfast. It is cold outside. I mean REALLY cold. It was 73 degrees yesterday and today it hasnt made it to 35.

I settled in on the couch with my babies. The baby went down for a nap. I turned on the WVU/Pitt game.

I looked over and MJ was asleep. I curled up with Phabian on the love seat.

With in minutes our breathing had synced and we were both asleep.

Those moments are why i love the day after. It is a lazy day of love, leftovers, and comfort.

How often do you get to cuddle with you older kids and take a nap in the middle of the day?

It is truly priceless!

Thankful

I am thankful that i have 3 beautiful children.

I am thankful that i have 3 healthy children.

I am thankful that i have a caring, sweet, wonderful husband.

I am thankful that i have a healthy husband.

I am thankful that I am healthy.

I am thankful that we have an income.

I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads.

I am thankful we have clothes on our backs and shoes on our feet.

I am thankful we have a car to get us from place to place and money to put gas in it.

I am thankful we never go to bed hungry.

I am thankful that we are never thirsty.

I am thankful we have all the amenities we can afford.

I am thankful we have extended family who love and care for us.

I am thankful we are loved by so many.

I am thankful that we have another day together.

I am thankful that we have a table to meet around.

I am thankful that God is so gracious and kind.

I am thankful for so much and often so little.

I am thankful for my imperfections because they make me strive to be better.

I am thankful!


What are you thankful for?

Bad Mommy Sunday

So yesterday was not....i repeat NOT a good day.

I had a bad mommy day. Yes i know we all have them but it doesnt make it any less upsetting.

The day started off well enough. the kids and I watched How To Train Your Dragon (super cute if you havent seen it). We ate popcorn for breakfast and cuddled in the recliner.

But somewhere along the lines a migrain made itself known. Sione' was having a super...i repeat SUPER cranky day. The kids feel apart when i ask them to help me clean. And Hubby well he was no help when i was trying to get dinner on the table.

All of this lead to a MMMD (Mini Mommy Melt Down). I screamed and yelled. I threatened. And at the worst of it i threw a dish (not at anyone; i was alone in the kitchen) and smashed it against the wall. I ended up knealing in the kitchen floor praying to God to take this dag blasted headache away, and to please give me patients to finish out the night.

Then after we had ate and the kids laid in bed i went in to kiss them goodnight. They threw their little arms around my neck and told me they loved me. MJ ask if my head still hurt. Phabian kissed me on my forhead and told me it was ok. And hubby fixed me a cup of hot tea.

It should have made me feel better but instead i got a big dose of MMG (Major Mommy Guilt). How could i be so mean to these people who love me so much. Thank God for blessing me so much with a loving family. Thank God these children are built in his light. Quick to forgive and forget. I love them and they love me despite my many flaws.

Thank You God!

Advanced

When i was a kid starting out in school, advanced was a word i heard often. My teachers would say to my mom, "Courtney is really advanced for her age", or "Have you ever thought of advancing her a grade".

When i started Kindergarten, having never attended a preschool, i already knew how to read and do basic math. I could write my name as well as other small words and sentences. Back then (20 years ago) that would have qualified me to go straight to the first grade completely skipping kindergarten.

My Mom refused to advance me. She felt that it was important for me to have that kindergarten year to become accustomed with how school worked since i had never attended a preschool. In other words she wanted me to be socially smart as well as intelligent smart.

I had my problems in kindergarten. I got bored a lot since i already knew a lot of what the other kids were just learning. I was given special assignments to help keep my attention. I was aloud to go to the library and read if they were doing something that i already had mastered. It made me feel a little separate from the other kids, but over all i can not complain about my kindergarten experience.

I had the best kindergarten teacher in the world (and still hold her as my favorite teacher to this day). And the school dealt with me in what i would call a perfect way. They did what they could to help me excel and gave me things to do that both helped my education and my social abilities.

Now 20 years later i am facing a similar problem only in the position of my mother.

Phabian started Kindergarten back in June (year round school). After about 3 months of school we came to realize that he is a little more advanced then the other kids. He is pretty much reading now and writing wonderfully with little help. He can count and do simple math. Socially he is even doing great. I accredit this to his 2 years in preschool with the worlds best pre-k teacher and aid. They however accredit it to me. 

Now as we approach the end of the 2nd semester he is starting to get bored. He is losing focus and getting in trouble a lot. Not anything major but little things that insinuate he is bored with what he is learning. Unlike the school where i attended as a kid, his school is apparently not prepared to deal with this. He is forced to sit through things and grin and bear the outcome of his boredness.

After a parent/teacher conference with his teacher a month ago i confirmed i am not happy with his environment. She pretty much told me that he should have been skipped a grade but it was too late now since we are already half way through the 2nd semester and the 1st grade curriculum would be too advanced. I was a little furious. We have known he was advanced since the year began back in June so why was this option not mentioned to me earlier.

I am not ok with my child constantly getting in trouble because, essentially, he is TOO SMART! How is that teaching him anything? To me it is telling him, " Hey your too smart, so maybe if you weren't smart you wouldn't get in trouble".  To top it off they have a daily grading system. It goes from a Paw (best behavior) to a D (worst behavior). If at the end of the semester they do not have enough Paws that child will not be aloud to attend the field trip planned for that semester. So once again Phabian might lose out on something fun because he is too smart.

Yes i understand he still has to learn to behave and follow instructions. I get that, i promise. But what would be wrong with giving him something more advanced to do if you are working on something that you already know that he knows. If you are working on the letter F and you know he already knows that, why cant you give him a book to read or something else to work on? Is it that hard to give him busy work so that he doesn't get in trouble?

So here is where the big dilemma comes in. I have talked at length with MJ (and Phabian's) pre-k teacher. She knows all about Phabian and the trouble he is having. She suggested to me that i might want to go ahead and have MJ tested to be advanced to 1st grade instead of starting in  kindergarten because he is also showing signs of being very advanced for his age.

I don't want to face the same problems with MJ that we are having with Phabian. MJ is already starting to read. He is learning from his brother and is almost on the same scale as his brother in some things. If i have him tested i don't know if there is a down side. If he passes the test (which i have been told is pretty hard) he will have proved he is smart enough and mature enough to be advanced, if he doesn't then it isn't any skin off anyone. He will just go to kindergarten and no one knows the wiser.

I hesitate because i worry how Phabian will feel about this in the long run. Phabian has always took pride in being the older sibling. He is older in age, he got to play football when MJ wasn't old enough yet. He got to start "real" school first. He gets to do homework. If we do choose to skip MJ a grade he will be right there with his brother. Possibly (even though i doubt it) in the same class. I just don't know how Phabian will feel about that or even how to ask him about it. They attended pre-k together for a year and never had a problem but they are older now and have had a whole year apart in separate classrooms.

So help me out here. I need opinions from everyone. If you know a teacher send her/him over so i can get that opinion too. I am just so confused as to what i should do. Advance MJ or don't? How can i help Phabian? What suggestions would you make if you were in this situation?

Christmas Is Coming

And i am so totally not ready! But i am hoping with the help of 5 Minutes for Mom's Christmas Giveaway 2010 i can get it kicked into gear. As always they are giving away some great gifts. So if you are behind in your shopping and just want a chance to win some great stuff head over to 5 Minutes for Mom and see what you can win.

Dear Husband

Happy Anniversary!

I don't know how it is possible that 6 years has passed. How we have laughed and loved, fought and bickered, kissed and hugged, and created 3 beautiful children in such a short amount of time.

I don't know how i got so lucky and blessed to have God gift me with such a wonderful man.

I thank him everyday for making you for me. For guiding me to you. For guiding you to me. For blessing us both so handsomely with the life we have together.

Six year ago today i married the man of my dreams. You work hard to make sure we are all well taken care of. I know i don't thank you enough for all you do, but i love you and i appreciate it more than you will ever know.

You work yourself til you are so tired you cant stand up. You love your kids more than life itself, and you love me. It is more then i could ever have ask for. Someone sure knew what they were doing when they got us together.

You have so many great qualities but most of all you have the ability to make me laugh. Even when i am so mad i could spit nails you can look at me and i just cant help but laugh. When i am crying you always have the right words to make me smile. When life seems to have gotten the best of the both of us you still somehow manage to crack a joke that can make the world seem brighter. I love that about you, even if i bitch about it sometimes.

I know i am not always the easiest person to live or deal with. I know i bitch too much and praise to little. But i love you. With all my heart and soul i love you. I don't know what i would ever do without you in my life. Who else would ever put up with all my crap. You are truly the love of my life and i can not wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

I love you Marcus. Please never doubt that for a second. Happy Anniversary!

Sione's One Year Slide Show

"Sione' One Year Old"

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Happy 1st Birthday Sione'

Dear Sione',

          Today marks one year of you being in our lives. One whole year since you came into our world and made it that much more joyous. It is hard for Mommy and Daddy to believe that is has been 12 months since i wrote about your birth.

          So much has taken place in the last year. You have grown so much and yet you are still my littlest baby. Mommy and Daddy have so many hopes and dreams for you but we want you most of all to love life and treasure every moment.

          At one you have 7 1/2 teeth. We thought you would never get them. They came in slow and painfully for you. You have no been the best teether but you made for one great cuddler while going through it. You got one at a time and then all of a sudden in October 3 came in at once totaling you to 7. Your little toothy grin with your scrunched up nose is my favorite thing to see first thing in the morning.

          I am not sure how much you weight but my guess would be somewhere between 26 and 28 pounds and you are such a tall little thing. You have your one year appointment on the 15th so we will find out then and i will make a note here later.

          You are oh so active. You enjoy running now. I mean full on, taking off, fly by the seat of your pants running. It is still the waddle run of a baby but fast and cute none the less. You also enjoy hugging and blowing kisses. Your little chubby baby hands waving bye bye is just enough to make and grouch smile.

          You do love your sleep though and are not one to be woken up. You go to bed at 8 with your brothers and wake at 6:30 with them as well. Usually you go back to bed at 8:30 for a morning nap and again at 3 for a short afternoon nap. Soon we will cut that morning one out and change to one nap around noon instead.

          You hair when wet and combed touch the back of your shoulders on your neck, but when aloud to dry natural is curly, curly, curly. It has changed from the dark black of your first 8 months to a dark auburn/brown like Mommy and Phabian's. One thing that hasnt changed is those dark, almost black, eyes and those lush long lashes. I think i have another heart breaker on my hands. Those eyes are dangerous and you know how to use 'em.

           You are curious about everything. Lights, noises, people all have to be investigated with all 5 senses. You are jibbering up a storm now in your own little language that none of us can really understand but love to hear none the less. You can say several words though. Hah Hah (Hot Hot), Dada, Mama, Num Num (Yum Yum), Bye Bye, BaBa (Bottle or Sippy), Buh Buh (Bubby), Na Na (No No), MiMI (Paci which we call Minka) are the most understandable.

           This first year has went by too fast. It has just been one day after another flown by. Good days and bad i wouldnt take back a moment of it. If anything i would go back and slow it all down. You are another gift from God and we cherish you more then you will ever know.

            Happy Birthday to you Sione'. We love you and are so proud and happy with how big you are. And as we enter the next phase of your life i hope you know that everyone is so very proud to have you in their life. We hold you in our hearts and nothing will every change the love we feel for you.

(I will follow with a picture post soon. Didnt wanna make this post a mile long.)

Update On Phabian and Other Randomness

Phabian had his follow up with the Plastic Surgeon yesterday. Honestly he didn't tell us anything we didn't already know. Just a little reassurance that everything looks good and is healing properly. It actually took me longer to fill out all the paper work then it did for him to talk to us. We go back on Tuesday for another check.

Phabian went to school today. I kept him home Wednesday because the school was acting like it was too much of a hassle for him to be there. They said he wasn't focused and his arm was hurting him. Well DUH! He has a 2nd degree burn on his arm. I think i would be crying my eyes out, but not Phabian. He just tells you if it hurts and goes on with what he was doing. Anyways, I let him go today because, well honestly, i needed him to go. I needed the break and since he wasn't in pain (or minimal at least) i told him he needed to go. He was actually excited. He hates, and i mean HATES to miss school.

Tomorrow is Sione's 1st birthday. I am still in shock i think. It hasn't registered that i am no longer the mom of a newborn. He is actually a toddler and in many ways it breaks my heart. This time last year i think i was sitting mad on my couch, swearing that this child would never come out. Today i was one whole day past due and completely done. At the same time i was being patient and knew he would come when he was ready (or at least hoping he would haha).

I am stuck in this hole of emotions. I am excited that my baby is turning 1. I am sad that another year has passed by so fast and that my baby is growing up even faster. I am mourning the fact that i might never get to do this again (by choice of course) and it seems like it went by way too fast. I am dreading the days that i know will only go faster from here. How else do you explain the fact that i have an almost 6 and 5 year old when just a few days ago they were born? But most importantly i am feeling blessed that i have 3 healthy, beautiful children and a loving, supportive, hard working husband.

Time just moves too quickly. There is so much that takes away from enjoying those moments that are so fleeting. You have to work extra hard to capture the memories and enjoy the special moments. I can honestly say that this past year has been amazing. We have struggled, we have had ups and downs, but most of all we have lived, loved, laughed, and enjoyed our family.

And in the end i think that is what truly matters.

Wild, Scary Ride We Call Life

It has been an extremely long and scary weekend. Things went all haywire, time stopped, sped forward, slowed down, and crept at a snail pace.

Lets start with Saturday. For the most part Saturday was normal. For the MOST part.

We got up and went to Saturday morning football practice. After practice they had a birthday party/lunch for all the teams. Anyone who has more then 1 child, or works in a school, church, nursery where you deal with more than one child at a time, knows it is difficult to coordinate anything involving a lot of kids. Well lets say serving lunch to about 120 kids plus 30 adults, in a room built to hold about 50 people, out of a kitchen the size of a bathroom, is not an easy or fun task.

After that was over we headed home to take a little nap. Hubby left for work at 3 as is the norm. The rest of the afternoon went pretty well. But here is where it gets sticky.

My SIL (lets call her C) was hosting a sleep over Saturday night for her son and my kids. The reason for this was because she was watching MJ and Sione' all day Sunday while we were at the Super Bowl games and we didn't want Phabian to feel like he missed out on the fun. Since the buses run funny at night Hubby had to take the car to work with him leaving me no way to get the kids to my SIL's house (her car is in the shop). So we called his niece (lets call her A) and ask if she would mind coming by around 6 and taking the kids to said SIL's house. She said that was fine and all was worked out and well.

At 6 that evening i texted A and ask her is she was still planning to take the kids to C's house. She said yes but she was waiting on her boyfriend to get home. I said ok i was just checking and to call when she was on the way. About 3 seconds later she texts me back and said she didn't know what was going on that C was at Granddad's house. So i said ok let me know whats going on. So i waited. All the while my kids are now screaming and crying because they think they are not going to get to go to the sleepover.

At 7:30 i texted her again. She proceeded to tell me that C was with my BIL (lets call him F) getting her cell phone fixed. Ah so this explains why my 3 calls and 10 texts have not been answered. So A tells me that she is not coming to get the kids. That since F is taking C home he is coming to get the kids. Ok that makes sense to me. So i text F to confirm and see how long it will be.

By now it is 8 and the kids are over the moon howling about how they are late and they are not going to get to go. The baby is exhausted and ready for bed and my temper is teetering on boiling. After texting F he tells me i will have to meet him at the house cause he doesn't have room in his car. I said i do not have a way to meet you there and that A said that she had already confirmed with him that he was coming to get them. He laughed and said ok we will figure it out.

Finally at 8:30 they pick up the kids and i am left home along waiting on Hubby. Breathe a sign of relief!

Fast forward to Sunday morning. We are up way early because we have to get everything ready for the day, pick Phabian up from C's, go pick up a few other people, and be at our home field by 10 to join in the parade to the Super Bowl field.

Hubby had ran to my MIL's house to borrow a few dollars and i was fixing my hair when the phone rang.

This is where time did all the stopping, slowing, speeding, and crawling.

C called in tears to tell me Phabian had spilled boiling water on his arm (i hear his screams of panic and pain in the background) and he needed to go to the ER right away.

TIME STOPS!

In a panic i tell her ok we will be there asap.

TIME IS STILL STOPPED!

I call Hubby at his Mom's and scream at him to get home NOW because Phabian is hurt.

TIME IS CRAWLING!

TIME IS SLOWING EVEN MORE!

Hubby finally gets home i jump in the car and we speed off.

TIME IS STILL CRAWLING!

We pull up at C's house i just out of the car bust in the house. Run up a flight of stairs to find my baby calmly sitting on the bed with a towel wrapped around his arm. I prepare for the worst.

TIME STARTS TO FLY BY

I look at his arm, slowly unwrapping the towel. I don't see bone (ok worst averted), but the skin is all peeling back and my poor baby's skin is red as a fire engine. We rush him to the car and to the ER.

They get him in quick and give him some Ibuprofen for pain. This is where i get to brag about how brave my boy is. They had to cut away the dead skin and put medicine and bandages on his burn. It is a 2nd degree burn we are told and no worse then a really bad sunburn. He didn't even flinch. He laughed and joked with the nurse and doctors all while they cut and bandaged his poor burnt arm. We are released with the instructions that he is not allowed to play int he Super Bowl and to return the following morning for a check up.

We proceed to the football field (still making the parade). He joins his team on the field where they give him a jersey to wear and let him instruct warm ups. He stays with his team and cheers them on from the sidelines. I am so proud of my boy. They lost 32 to 14 but still held their heads high as they accepted their 2nd place trophies.

The day was long and dragged out. We were at the football field from 11am to 7pm. By the time we picked up MJ and Sione' got some food and got home all we had energy to do was pass out.

Monday morning we got up and get MJ to school and Sione' to my MIL's. Then headed to the ER for our check up. Once again they got us in and out with instructions to change the bandage 2 - 3 times a day and follow up with a plastic surgeon in 2 - 5 days.

So that was our weekend. It was long, scary, sad, and hard. I hope to never have another weekend like that again. Changing Phabian's bandage last night was hard. the nerves are getting feeling back and it hurt him so much. I cried with him as i washed and rebandaged his burn. this morning wasn't as bad as it is starting to scab over and try to heal.

It is going to be a long recovery but hopefully in the end it will heal well and all will be ok. Just keep my baby in your prayers. He is a brave brave boy.

Would You Rather....

Since i don't really have a lot to write about today i figured i would answer the prompt for today.

Would you rather be wealthy and ugly, wise and sickly, or beautiful and stupid?


In order to really answer this i guess you have to think out all the options so lets give it a go.

If you were beautiful, some would say, that it doesn't matter if you are stupid. You would be afforded opportunities that could make you rich, popular, loved (all be it for the wrong reasons maybe), and happy (in theory i guess). Being stupid however isn't a fixable thing. I guess some would say it is. But if you are truly stupid then that would mean you lack the ability to learn and grow there for leaving you always stupid. Doesn't sound very appealing to me. Beauty can be bought and stupidity just isn't acceptable to me.

To be wise is a wonderful attribute. Wise people are often wealthy in all the ways that truly matter. Love, culture, education, faith, family, friends, and work. They however can also push others away with their know-it-all attitude and obsession with gaining more knowledge. To be sickly, which i would assume means either a disability or disease, would be a hard thing to deal with for anyone no matter your situation or intelligence. I suppose when combined with being wise it would give you a goal to work towards though. You could put your intelligence to use to find a cure or build new machinery to help those with disabilities.

Wealth is measured in different things but for the purpose of the question i will assume you are referring to money-wealth. Money is a great thing to have. It can reduce stress for someone in a tight situation and help someone who really needs it. It can be used to help foundations find cures or help the less fortunate. However wealth is not always the answer. With money comes power and with power comes often a big head. To think one is all powerful is truly sad. Money and power can not always get you everything you want. Ugly...what is there to say about ugly. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder i suppose. So to be ugly would only be the opinion of those who see you as ugly but to those who see you as beautiful, well you get the point.

I don't know if i really would want to be a combo of any of these. I think there are ups and downs to all of them. If i had to choose i think i would have to pick wise and sickly because if you are truly wise i would think you would be able to know what to do with your wiseness.

What would you pick?

Sick...Ugh

Phabian made it all the way to school today just for them to call us and tell us he needed to come home. He isn't running a fever or anything. Just vomit, diariah, and an upset tummy. maybe it is just a 24 hr bug. I pray that it is just that.

He has been laying on the couch since he got home a few hours ago. He seems to be feeling better already but who knows. As long as he is resting and drinking lots of fluids i suppose he will be alright. He wont be able to make football practice tonight and i hate that for him since this is the last week.

Oh yea did i mention that his team made it to the Super Bowl!!!! Go Generals!!!! I am so proud of my boy. This was his first year playing and he is just so excited about the championship. So i pray he is better by Sunday at least for he will be able to make the game.

So not much else to report here. Phabian - sick, Sione' - teething, MJ - brat (just kidding) (not really).

Hope you are all having a very blessed day.

Lord of the...I Don't Get It

The other day i was over at my MIL's house and was telling her how i have kinda ran out of books to read. Until i have some money to go out and get some i just am stuck.

her being the great person she is told me she had a stack of books on the porch and to take what ever sounded interesting. I rummaged through and found Lord of the Flies.

I knew nothing about it other than it is a classic and suppose to be good, so i decided what the hay i will give it a go. Well that was just a great idea right.

Now to preface this, i consider myself a smart person. I read a lot. A lot of different types of books. I have read about 100 books just this year. All ranging from far out fiction to true stories. But i do not get Lord of the Flies.

Maybe it is the words from a time and place that i dont really understand. Maybe if it was written in all English(USA) then i might get it more. I dont really know what it is but it is just making me feel really dumb.

I like the plot well enough and i have been told to just hang in there and it does get good, but it is only a little over 200 pages long and i am more than half way through. When does it get better?

I guess i will just have to finish it and then see what my overall opinion is. At least i am reading and i guess that is what truly counts. i am showing my kids that reading is fun and enjoyable. And they will hopefully follow in my footsteps and become great lovers of books.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

So once again i am late as usual but hey its my life i can be late if i want to right?

I have been lagging on posting regularly and was really trying to figure out how to get back in the habit when i got my monthly Nablopomo Newsletter.

This is something i participated in when i first started this blog so that i could get in the habit of positing on a regular basis. So i figured what worked before might work again.

So i am a day late starting which really isn't a big deal since i don't much care about the prizes and such. (ok i do care about the prizes but it is easier to say i don't care since i am a day late lol). This is just about getting back to my enjoyment of typing away in my very own corner of the world wide web.

So here is to November and posting everyday (except the 1st). I will guarantee you now that not every post will even be worth reading. My life is just not that interesting people. But none the less you will get something everyday from me as long as i remember.

Hope you are having a fab Tuesday and if your in the US have a fun time voting.

I Wish I Knew...

Why i have been a big ball of water works this past week.

I swear to you i have been crying over everything.

Good, bad, sweet, sad, ugly, pretty.

It has all made me bust into tears at one point or another.

Last night after Hubby and I were cuddled up in bed we started to talk.

It was one of those talks that you wish you could have every day.

You know the ones...

So intiment, deep, and emotion filled. Where truth is the only thing that matters and so you just lay your heart out there on the line and wait to see what happens next.

We talked for almost two hours. About everything from silly stuff to the more serious.

We laughed, I cried, we hugged and kissed.

In the end i discovered that i love him more then any words could ever express. We could talk til we are blue in the face and nothing i could ever say could mean as much as my heart feels.

Today he took the kids to the grocery store while i slept in.

When he got back he walked into the bed room and put a bracelet on my wrist. It is one of those little fake gold plastic things that you get for 50 cent out of the bubble gum machine.

I cried and thanked him. Because for me it isn't about the price or the show, but about the meaning. The simple fact of the "I was thinking of you".

I don't know how much longer these water works are going to last. And i don't know if i care. Because today, and for the rest of my life, i have the best man in the world to wipe the fallen drops away.

Random Dozen - 10-21-10

1. Do you prefer to read the book or see the movie? Most of the time the book first then the movie. I have even put off seeing a lot of movies just so i can read the book first. It isn't always better, like in the case of The Blind Side, but i still love my books.


2. What is your favorite holiday and why? I love love love Christmas. It was my Mom's fave holiday and by default mine. I love the togetherness, the smells, the food, the music. Honestly there isn't much about it (besides the stress) that i don't like.

3. Which do you like better - the mountains or the beach? The beach most definitely, but that could be because i live in the rolling mountains of West Virginia. Isn't the grass always greener on the other side?

4. If money were no consideration, what vehicle would you drive? For me personally a 1986 Candy Apple Red Corvette with a Jet Black T-Top and black leather interior. For a family vehicle a Kia Sedona. 

5. What is your favorite cold-weather beverage? I love coffee with Almond Toffee creamer, or Spiced tea.

6. How do you communicate most often with your friends: phone, email, text, face-to-face, or Facebook? My bestie i talk to at least every other day via phone, but most others it is text or Facebook.

7. How do you receive your mail? Mailbox on the porch, at the end of the driveway, down the street, or post office box? On my porch.

8. Of the four basic personality types - sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic, and choleric - which is your strongest? Which is your least evident? Sanguine or Phlegmatic would have to be my prominent and Choleric my least.

9. What do you miss the most about being 20? Well since that was only about 5 years ago for me i would say nothing really. Ask me again in 5 more years.

10. How long from the time you get up, does it take you to get ready to walk out the door in the morning? Usually about 20 minutes if i am just taking the kids to school but about an hour if i have somewhere to go.

11. Who handles the car maintenance and pays the bills in your family? Hubby handles all the car stuff and i make sure all the bills are paid.

12. For those in the US, how many states have you visited? For those outside the US, how many provinces/other countries have you visited? I live in the US and i have visited 12 states that i can think of. California, Texas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida.

Sione' - 10 and 11 Months

Oh my dear sweet boy,

Where has the time gone? Can it really be possible that in just a months time you will be 1? When? How? Why?

It seems like just yesterday i had you. Now you are 11 months old and getting so big.

 Can we talk about those curls? Those beautiful, bouncy, shiny, curls! They make your Mama want to do a little dance. I just want to eat them up they are so delicious! You just couldn't be any more edible if you were actually made of chocolate. What really gets me is the little bitty tight curls right on the back of your little neck. They just make me squeal. Now if only you liked having your hair brushed all would be good.

That face! Can we talk about that face! Those eyes and that smile and those 4 little teeth! Yes 4! Almost 6 as you seem to have another 2 trying to break on in. I have a very very hard time telling you no. You look at me with those big deep eyes and give me that beautiful toothy smile and i just melt into a big pile of Mama Goo. I use to think i ran this house but now i know the truth. You! It's all under your control.

You are so big! Bigger than either of your brothers every thought to be at your age. You weight 25lbs and are 30 ins tall. Only half a foot shorter than MJ is at almost 5. You couldn't look more like your Daddy if you were his twin. You are walking, no wait, running like a pro. You can climb up, on, over anything that you can get a grip on. I fully expect to find you spinning from the ceiling fan any day now. You definitely give Mama a good workout.

You eat anything given to you. I can not complain that you are picky. And as much as we have tried we can not wrangle you away from that Binky. Oh well with time you will let it go. You are a great napper and sleeper. So much better than the days past. I enjoy every minute of you, even when you are cranky and mad. Life with you and your brothers is so exciting. You all show me something new everyday and make me feel blessed to the max.

You love your brothers so much and they you. You play with them every day and love your time with them. You love to chase them or ride with them in their cars. You play peek a boo with them and bang on the pots and pans to make a band of 3. It is truly music to my ears to hear such laughter and joy from the 3 of you.

I really truly hope this last month moves more slowly. I cant imagine you turning one and i am not ready yet. So please baby boy, for Mama's sake, slow down. Take your time growing up. And always remember...

I love you more then life.

New Me

I have lost 15lbs in the last 2 months. No real clue how i have done it other than puttin in the work. I have been going to the gym at the recreation center while the kids are at football practice. So that is 4 times a week i am gettin my butt in the gym. I have been trying to eat at least 3 meals plus a snack a day. I am not a big breakfast eater so it is hard to make myself eat it. Plus i was sick for 2 weeks so i am sure that aided in the weight loss lol.

So since i lost this weight and plan to continue to lose more weight til i am back to my pre-3-baby weight, i also decided that i needed a new hair cut. I decided short and easy would be best and yesterday i did it. i must say i absolutely LOVE IT!

 This is right out of the shower.

 5 minutes later...

 after a little gel...

 i am styled....

and ready to roll!

With 3 kids i cant tell you how much of a time saver it is to just be able to shower, towel dry, and gel. I am done in 5 mins and ready to do what ever i need to get accomplished. No fussing with hairdryers, straightners, or anything else. Just wash, gel, go!

So this is the start to the new me. I am excited to see how my journey is going to go. I am trying to change a lot more than just the physical, but once you feel good with the outside it helps to have confidence in everything else.

Please Excuse Me While I Rant

I teach my children manors. I teach them to respect the rules even if they are at someone else's house. I teach them to not back talk and to always always say please and thank you.

Do they always, 100 % of the time, follow these things that i teach them? Of course not. They are kids after all and they do not always do as they are taught.

However, I am a firm believer that you can tell a child who has been taught these things from the children who have not.

Clue #1: My children will always say please and thank you even if they have to be prompted. Children who have not been taught, even when prompted, just kinda look at you expectantly and with a blank stare.

Clue #2: My children would never just enter a home without first knocking (unless said home is owned by Granny or Poppy lol) and or asking if it is ok to come over. Above mentioned untaught children will just walk into a home, or invite themselves in.

Clue #3: When speaking about manors my children know it is rude to chew with your mouth open and smack our lips. Untaught children can be heard from miles away, while they chomp on the chips that they have so nicely given themselves from your kitchen.

Clue #4: My children know better than to ever interrupt an adult when he or she is speaking. They are to say excuse me and wait patiently. Children who have not been taught will continuously nag, talk, touch you til you answer them.

Clue #5: My children have been taught to address all elders (by which i mean adults) as Ma'am or Sir (Miss or Mister followed by a first name is acceptable if it is not a close relation but yet someone they know). It is the way i was raised and a sign of respect. Children who have not been taught manors will refer to you as "Hey you", "A, A, A....", or just poke you til you show them you are listening.

Now as i said above, do my kids always follow these rules? No, but i can honestly say about 75% of the time they do or will with a little prompting. We are still working on things. They are only 4, 5, and 10 month old. They have more things to learn and more time to learn them.

I also understand that not all people believe in teaching children to call people ma'am or sir. A lot of people now a days think it is old fashion or antiquated. But as i said before this is how i was raised and their for how i raise my children. If you don't want my child to call you ma'am or sir please tell them your first name so they can address you as Miss ____ or Mister _____.

To another point, i am not a free babysitting service. You may not allow your children to come over here to play while you go run errands or such without first asking me if it is ok. Do not think because your kids are at my house it is ok for you to take a nap. I may send your children home at any moment since you have not informed me that you will not be their.

Also i am not a food bank. I know kids will often ask without thinking but i find it a little crazy when your children ask me everyday if they can have something to eat. When i go to the store i buy food according to how many people i have to feed and usually i only include the people that actually sleep in my house. I do not mind giving your kids lunch if they are over playing and i am feeding my kids but every day 3 times a day seems a little over board to me. Maybe it is just me?

While your children are at my house i expect them to follow my rules even if those same rules do not apply to them at home. Since they are at my house, my rules do apply. If they fail to adhere to my rules after a fair warning i will send them home, no questions asked, and they will not be allowed to come back over until they can follow the rules.

Ahhhh...now i feel a little bit better. I got that off my chest, out of my system. Maybe it is just me but i just get so aggravated by things like this. Hope everyone is having a blessed day.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

It really is. But what they forget to inform you of is that it is harder on the parent of the child doing the above mentioned growing.

I read a post here this morning that had me absolutly bawling my eyes out like a big hormonal baby.

See i am suffering from growing pains. Not the kind that make your legs and arms ache. Not even the kind that make me want another baby. Just the kind that make my heart ache and wrench every time i look over and realize that my little boys are not so little anymore.

They are growing up way too fast. In every way, shape, and form they are becoming little, minature men.

I am no longer their favorite person to play with. They have a list of friends that doesnt include me. I am no longer the one that ties thier shoes cause they are learning to do that on their own. I hardly ever read the books anymore cause Phabian has started to read them in my place.

They are getting to big to cuddle with mommy anymore so i cherish those moments even more. They dont need me to kiss every boo boo and scratch cause big boys dont cry when they get minor bumps and bruises and even when they do "mommy kisses" dont make everything better anymore.

Phabian has started to roll his eyes and shrug away when i try to kiss him goodbye when he gets on the bus in the morning. He doesnt want all his friends to see mommy loving on him. MJ tells me "Bye Mommy" trying to hurry me out of the class room when i drop him off in the mornings. They dont need mommy to protect them anymore and to stay until they have adjusted.

They need me in different ways now as they always will as they grow. Soon i will be the shoulder when their heart is broken by the girl they loved so much, or the teary eyes showing pride as they recieve their high school diploma or go off to senior prom.

All too soon i will be the adoring mother in law watching her son stare at the woman of his dreams. Or the grandma watching the baby so the married couple can celebrate an anniversary.

These things are just around the cornor and they are flying like a 747 right at my heart. And my heart is too weak to withstand the impact.

I ache when i realize my babies have went from this:

To this:

How did we get here? When did they grow so big? Who told them it was time to grow up? Where in the HELL is my pause button?

I am trying my hardest to adjust, but the twists just keep coming and they just keep growing older and bigger. Some day too soon they will out grow me. My lap will become too small to hold them, but my heart will forever see them just like they are babies.

They will always and forever be Mommy's Little Boys!

Random Dozen

1. What is your favorite fair/carnival food? I love love love a good funnel cake or caramel apple!


2. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Aren't we all? I think i have a few things in my life i could afford to let go.

3. What is your favorite gift to receive? Money of course cause i can do with it what needs to be done. Unless you consider hand made things from my kids. Love them!

4. When was the last time you tried something new? Lets see....I tried fish tacos for the first time in June and also at that same time i tried being away from my kids for more than 24 hours and found i hated it.

5. What is your favorite and least favorite book genre? I love love love a good series. I dont really care what it is as long as it has more than one book and a little mystery and excitement to it. I am not a big fan of westerns. Just never really got into them.

6.Silver or Gold? I use to like silver better but i have become a goldaholic since my wedding band is gold.

7. What makes you sigh? Long days and ignorance

8. If you didn't know how old you are, how old would you claim you are? I think i would go for exactly what i am. 24 is a good number and i like it just fine.

9. Would you break a law to save a loved one? To protect a loved one? Oh yes! Prime example is my kids. If someone ever hurt my kids (and i think most parents know what i mean without me going into details) i would most definitely be breaking some kind of law.

10. If you had to teach something, what would it be? Maybe acting or even religious history. The 2 both fascinate me.

11. You're having lunch with 3 people whom you respect and admire. They begin to criticize a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. What do you do? Speak my mind. If she is my friend and i feel differently then they do i have no reason not to speak my opinion of him/her.

12. Which of the 5 Love Languages is your prominent means of experiencing love? I am definitely a verbal and physical person. I tell my husband atleast 30 times a day how much i love him and appreciate him. Kissing, hugging, and cuddling is just a extra add on for us.

.......

Just realized that for some reason the letter in the last post is not showing up in reader. So if you are only seeing a slide show then click on the post to read the whole thing.

In other new today is my blogoversary! 2 years and going. I dont post as often but there are no words that could express how happy life truly is anyways. Spending time with my loves and enjoying the days so that nothing escapes me is worth much more than counters and stats!

Have a blessed day everyone!

Sione' - 8 and 9 Months

Dear Weeble Wobble,

It has been a wild couple of months. You are growing so fast and we can hardle keep up with all your developing skills. You are a fast learner but still tend to do things on your own time and accord.

At 8 months you started standing and scooting along stuff and are now full on walking. You wobble around and look a little like a penguin when you walk because you dont bend your knees but it just makes it all the more adorable to watch. You always have a smile on your face when you are walking and hardly ever cry when you fall down. You are just amazing.

You also like to climb. You busted your lip last month trying to climb the entertainment center. It is kinda built in a step like patteren and i guess for you it is just an invitation. You also like to climb on your stroller when you aren't setting in it. You make mommy and daddy a nervous wreck but we wouldn't change it for the world.

You are getting so big now. I am not sure how tall you are but you are probably creeping up on the 25 pound mark. Your hair has came back full force and is full of beautiful curls. I love to just play with your curls and brush your hair. Mommy wishes she had hair like you.

You are teething again which isnt very fun. You tend to get very cranky; especially when you are hot. Which is a lot lately because we go to Phabian's football practice everyday and the heat has been ridiculous. We spend a lot of the time watching from the car, running out the gas with the AC on. Anything to make my baby happy.

You are now putting yourself to sleep, which makes me kind of sad. You hardly ever let us rock you anymore. We just lay you down in your crib and tuck you in and you snuggle withyour blanket and fall fast asleep. It  is great that you do this but at the same time i wonder where did my little baby go.

You now wave bye bye to everyone and also enjoy jabbering on the phone to anyone and everyone. No one can catch a syllable of what you say but it is cute none the less. We have our little baby conversations and you still reuse to say Mama unless you are crying and want something. However you are still 150% a Mama's Boy. You like others to hold you and you want all the attention to yourself but you always come back to me after a minute or 2.

You are eating so good. You eat more table/finger foods now. Your favorite is the little Gerber Pasta Pick-Ups Spinich and Cheese. I cut them in half and you just go to town. You also love any and all fresh fruit. However you are not big on meat at all. We tried some of the meat sticks and foods and you just nibble and then push them away. I guess it will take some time before you get into them. You are only taking 3 bottles a day now. 8 ounces each in the morning, afternoon, and night.

You sleep beautifully. You havent woken up in the middle of the night in a long long time (knock on wood). You go to bed around 8 or 9 and wake up around 6 or 7 depending on if it is a school day or not. You tend to take 3, one hour naps a day but some times cut it down to 2 long naps. Depends on what we have to do that day and what mood you are in.

We are so extremely luck to have you in our life. You are a joy to love and hold and make mommy and daddy do happy. Everyone who sees you loves you and exclaims how handsom you are. We couldnt be more proud of you.

Operation: Save the Baby Bird

This is one of those stories i should have posted forever ago but have just been busy (or not).

The few weeks ago i was sitting on the front porch deeply involved in a book. The kids were in the back yard playing with their day. It was a nice warm evening. Peaceful and quiet.

Then out of nowhere i hear a scream and my kids running through the house. I being the great Mom i am, and not the least bit self absorbed in the book i am reading, yell at them from the front porch to stop yelling before they wake the baby up.

Phabian then comes out to the porch and whispers to me that there is a baby bird in our back yard. So i put down the book and venture out to find this.

Laying right in the middle of my yard is a baby bird that apparently couldnt fly as well as he thought. He had taken off from a near by tree and had a semi soft crash landing in our yard.

So what do i do? I call my friend and ask what to do, thats what. She informed me we should use a towel to pick it up and place it in a tree or bush and see if it flys home. So what do i do now?

I go grab my camera of course (and a towel). I think i frightened the poor thing with my flash.

So after our photo session i used the towel to pick him up and put him in our pine bush in the front yard.

We went back out back and played for awhile. Checking the baby bird about every 10 minutes cause the kids couldnt resist.

Finally when we went back before bed (about 2 hours later) he was gone. We scanned the yard to make sure he hadnt fallen out again. The kids took every precaution tip toeing around as to not step on him incase he was on the ground.

Alas he had flown away back to his Mama. So we saved a baby bird. The kids learned a lesson.

I must say though when i was explaining to the kids why we cant touch it, they didnt quite understand why the Mama bird wouldnt love it anymore if it smelled like us.

"But mommy you will always love us no matter what we smell like right?"

Ah yes my loves. No matter your smell mommy will always love you.

Just Because...

I am so behind on posts. I will have one for Sione' coming up for his 8 and 9 months. Then i still have to throw some pictures at ya from Phabian's preschool graduation. Man i am just slackin. In the mean time here is some cuteness and a biscuit!

Firsts

Yesterday was my first baby's, first day of kindergarten.

I am still not sure how i feel about it in all honesty. It's like letting go of a balloon and watching it float away. It seems like it takes forever to disappear into the sky but in reality it only takes seconds. That is the closets i can get to explaining how i felt yesterday.

He finally gets to ride the school bus which excited him more than anything. Me? Well it made the bottom drop out of my stomach. Kinda like when you go down a steep hill on a rollar coaster and your butt lifts off the seat, and your stomach hits your throat. Yea that would be the feeling I had yesterday as i watch the bus pull away from the curb with my baby boy on it.

All his life i have been there. Protecting him, making decisions for him, helping him to make decisions as he got old enough to, showing him which way is right and which is wrong. Yesterday i had to let go. I had to watch him climb those bus stairs to go off into a world where Mommy is not able to be.

He looked so small but not a bit scared. He left the scared part up to me haha. I worried all day long. I kept waiting for the call from the school telling me he was in tears and screaming for me. It never came. And i think in the end that was almost as bad as if it would have came.

The day went fine until school let out. First i must explain what is happening with our schools right now so that you will possible get a better grasp (or as good as i have since no one seems to be able to help anyone understand) of the situation.

We have 2 schools that are very old and are being combined into one brand spanking new school. The new school, however, will not be ready til after Christmas break. In order to make the transition easier they split the grades up according to school. kindergarten through second grade attend one school and third through fifth attend the other. They did this, so we are told, to allow the teachers to already have their classes sorted and when we all combine into the new school all they will have to do is assign a class room instead of having to sort kids into new classes. This made since to me for all of about 5 seconds until i realized the chaos it is causing for everyone.

The bus schedule runs like this: Phabian's bus (314) picks him up on the cornor at 7:30am then proceeds to pick up all the other kids. He arrives at school 1 (not his school) and is shuffled off his bus (314) and onto another bus (210). Bus 210 proceeds to take all the k-2 kids to school 2 (Phabian's school). At 2:45pm school lets out. Phabian and other kids are loaded onto bus 210 where they then go to school 1 and are shuffeled off of bus 210 back onto bus 314 and then ride home.

Now if that seems confusing to you imagine how it must seem to the 5 year old who has never riden a school bus to school and this is his very first day of kindergarten. Overwhelming? Most definitely.

Now take into consideration we (the parents) have not been informed of any of this. No one has told us anything more than where to catch the bus and the bus number 314, and where to pick our kids up and the bus number 314. We knew nothing about transfering buses or bus 210.

So Phabian's teacher calls us at 2:30 and asks us where his bus stop is so she can place him on the right bus. We told her and she put him on what we assumed was but 314 (the only bus we knew about.) 30 minutes later we call her back since we have not seen heads or tails of the bus. She tells us then that he is on bus 210 and that the principal is on the bus with the kids. She at the time had no idea that the bus would be going to the other school as neither did we. She told us she would call the principal and call us back asap. 45 minutes since school let out she calls us back he is stillon bus 210 and they are at the other school picking up kids.

Ok here is where all hell breaks lose. At 4pm an hour after school has let out bus 314 pulls up drops the other kids off...Where is my son??????

They inform (being the bus driver and the other bus aid) us he is still on bus 210 and should be along soon. We call the teacher back. Now here is where i will tell you I LOVE HIS TEACHER! She was just as concerned as we were and kept in contact with us the whole time. She gave us her personal cell number and up to the second we finally got him off the bus kept us informed of what was happening. She is a great woman and did everything she possibly could to make sure we were and Phabian was ok. She did her job and put him on the right bus and what happened from there was in no way her fault.

Finally at 4:30 after i was ready to bite someones head off bus 210 pulled up (with the principal on it) and dropped my handsom smiling son off to us. He was no worse for the wear and seemed to have even enjoyed his extended bus ride. The following conversation went something like this:

Me: May I ask you (the principal) if this is the bus he is suppose to ride home or did something go wrong?

Principal: (in snotty tone) Well he was SUPPOSE to get on bus 314 but he didnt know where his bus stop was.

Me: (trying to stay calm) Did you try to contact his teacher because she knew.

Principal: (getting more snotty) Well we are all confused! We ask him where he was going but all he could tell us was the church with the white buses. We had no clue. So we just kept him with us!

Me: (taking deep deep breathes) OKAY! Thank you!

Honestly what i wanted to do was jump on the bus and strangle the woman. How can you possibly blame my 5 year old son, who has never riden a bus before, to know where his bus stop is. He was probably confused and terrified. So all i could do was walk home, breathe deep, and curse under my breath. And i did! All three!

So needless to say we are hoping for the best today. He now knows he is suppose to ride 314 home. So if asked he tells then 3-1-4 when someone asks what bus he rides. Now if it happens again today i am telling you there will be bad stuff. My husband is not here to help me stay calm and i am not a patient woman when it comes to my kids being toyed with.

His teacher said she was going to make him a tag today so that he and the bus aid (or who ever) would know. We also introduced him to one of the kids on his bus and told them to help each other when it came to switching buses. Phabian is a smart kids but he is only 5 and even most of us adults cant comprehend this mess.

So i let my 5 year old spread his wings yesterday. He flew brilliantly. It is the first step in a long line of firsts and letting go inch by inch of the balloon string. His teacher later told me 9when i called her to let her know we had him) that he did great at school. He listened well, sat quietly, and played nice with the other kids. She said he was a model student on his first impression and she was glad to have him in her class.

My baby is growing up. He is excelling in his ability to do things seperatly from his family and as much as it breaks my heart to watch him go out into the world i know he will do well. He is smart, loving, kind, and gently but also so so strong.