Monday, December 28, 2009

Our Weekend

Well we have had quite the weekend. I would love to say we had a wonderful Christmas weekend and that all was well but alas that is just not how it went. But lets start at the beginning for those of you who don't follow me on twitter or facebook.

A few weeks ago Sione' started getting a little bit of a stuffy nose. I didn't think much of it because my other kids were a little stuffy as well and i figured it was just a little cold and would run its course and be gone.

Around the 22nd it turned into a little bit of a cough but still being a third time mom i figured just start suctioning the nose out and keep him warm and cared for and all will be fine with time. No need to rush off to the ER with a infant for a little cough and stuffy nose.

Christmas Day we packed up and went to my Brother's after we got done opening and playing with presents. While there i noticed Sione' was coughing a little harder than normal and he also was not eating well. He would wake up eat an ounce or so and then go back to sleep for 2 or 3 hours.

Now he did not get to 11lbs by eating an ounce every 3 hours so i knew something was not right. Later that night when we got home he was still sleeping a lot and not eating so i gave him a warm bath and kept him in the steamy bathroom for a few mins then laid him on the couch and suctioned him out really well. A few mins later he started coughing. He literally coughed til he turned blue. So i told Marcus it was time to take him to the ER.

I called my sister and ask if she would mind taking us. The big boys were already asleep and i didn't want to have to wake them up and drag them out to their Granny's in the cold. So she took us to the ER where we were told the great news. There was a 12+ hour wait. The back was full, 2 emergency ambulances has just shown up, and there were 4 people ahead of us in the waiting area. So i made the hard decision to go home and try again the next day. I honestly figured anything he had would only be made worse by sitting in the ER for 12+ hours with other sick people.

So the 26th we got up and headed to the local MedExpress. They took us back and the doctor came in to check him out. His pulse ox was a low and scary 92, which does not require oxygen but is a warning sign. They informed us they did not have the stuff to test for RSV and that we would need to go to the ER and possibly be admitted. The doctor was nice enough to call ahead to the ER and let them know the situation and that we were on our way. Before we left they gave him a nebulizer treatment to try and improve his pulse ox level.

When we arrived at the ER they took us back and immediately hooked him up to a pulse ox monitor. Thankfully the treatment had helped and his pulse ox was back up to 98. They ask what was going on and i explained the whole thing to the ER doc just as i did here on this blog.

At the ER in his Daddy's arms


She looked at me questioningly as if she didn't believe me when i said he had turned blue while coughing. She then said to me in an almost smartass tone that they would have to admit us if he was turning blue. She said it as if i would change my mind and say well maybe it was more red than blue or something. Of course i responded with a very polite...if that is what we need to do than ok...and she seemed surprised.


After a chest x-ray the pediatric docs came in and the were so sweet. They listened intently to what i was saying and then proceeded with a plan of action. They wanted to check for both RSV and Whooping Cough. They were more worried over WC then RSV since he has not been vaccinated for it yet.


After the ran the tests they admitted us to the pediatric floor and got him hooked up to an IV for fluids and chest monitors along with his pulse ox monitor. It was so sad to see him all hooked up to the monitors with wires and such going everywhere. He was such a trooper though.

Sorry its blurry but this is in our room after admission


I couldn't hold him much because of the wires and such and he was so good just sleeping on his own and only being held to feed him. I am so glad i have such a happy boy.


They confirmed RSV and told us they were keeping us for at least 24 hour observation. If he could stay off oxygen and keep his pulse ox up they would release him.


Yesterday he got his appetite back and even was smiling and cooing some. They said he looked great and they were releasing us. They told me to keep a close eye on him. I have to suction him out before and after each feeding and any other time he sounds like he might be congested. This is all in hopes of preventing pneumonia from forming.


We are home now and so glad to have the worst behind us (God willing). Prayers are still very much appreciated. We have a follow up appointment on Wednesday with his pediatrician and i also have a midwife appointment.


Now we are just trying to keep everyone separated and out of faces. Lots of hand washing and antibacterial gel using going on in this house. No one, outside the 5 of us, with a snotty nose or cough is aloud in the house. Just taking what ever precautions we can. Unfortunately i seem to have picked up a bug while at the hospital so this is proving harder done than said.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

2 Preschoolers + 1 Bag of Flour = Mommy Fail

So the other day i decided i wanted to make Christmas Cookies with the kids. So i made the dough before dinner and put it in the fridge to rest. After dinner i pulled out the dough, the flour, the rolling pin, and the cookie cutters.

I dusted the table with flour and gave each kid a ball of dough to roll out and cut their own tree, santa, train, and angel out of. They had such fun and yes they even got a little messy.


However i had a 'duh' moment when i went to put the cookies in the oven and set the timer. I forgot to remove the open, whole bag of flour from the table where 2 very curious boys were still sitting. This is what i came back to find:

In the end all was well. The bath tub was full of paste and the next night we decorated and ate the yummy creations we made.


Friday, December 18, 2009

Sione' - 1 Month



Dear Sweet Sione',


You have been in our arms for a month now and what a month that has been. It is a lot like riding a rollar coaster. We hit a high peak and come crashing down but before long we are right back to the top again.

You are such a sweet little angel. There is so much i notice about you everyday. Like the way you love to hold on to my fingers as i nurse you. I can not begin to tell you how magical it is to see your little hand hold mine as i give you the nourishment that only i can. Mommy had to make the hard decision to let that part of our relationship go, but i know we will still be ok. You will still grow strong and big and we will still love each other just as much. I could never explain what these 5 weeks have meant to me.

I still love to take in your smell. You no longer smell of that new baby scent but you still take my breathe away and fill me with warmth. You smell now like baby soap. That sweet smell of baby freshness is wonderful although you are not a big bath fan.
Your little smile is just more than anyone could ever imagine. You giggled for the first time the other day while spending some quality time with Daddy. You love him so much as you do your brothers.

Phabian and MJ are still adjusting to having you here but they love you more than anything. MJ told us we couldnt give you away (not that we ever would lol) to Granny. He said you have to stay with us and that is just how we want it.

Your eyes are so black. They are not even brown. When i look in them and see my own reflection it melts my heart. I know you are seeing me and I you. There is a piece of me in you and it is only a part of what makes you so perfect.

You are so strong. You try to hold you head up on your own a lot. When you are on your belly you can hold it up for about a minute or two all by your self. It is so fun to watch you and hear you take in the sights and sounds of your still new world.

You coo a lot and we all enjoy cooing back. Holding that conversation that only we can understand with you. You are just a miracle in our lives and we love every minute of it.

Daddy stays up with you most night and lets Mommy sleep. You are really gassy and it is hard sometimes but we always do our best to clam and comfort your little tummy. You enjoy sleeping in your carseat best and i am guessing it is because it bunches you up and makes your tummy feel better. It is so serene to watch you sleep.

We are all loving every second of you being in our world and we love watching you grow. I can not wait to see what the next month has to offer us.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I'm So Torn


What i really need right now is someone to tell me it is ok!

Today i have decided to stop breastfeeding. It is breaking my heart. I feel like i am being torn in half.

Part of me wants to keep going. The connection it gives me to my baby, the bond we have formed. The way he grabs my finger while he nurses, and the way he almost loses his latch when he smiles up at me while he is eating. The fact that i feel like i could nurse him forever when he drifts off to sleep. The way it comforts him and me. These are all the great wonderful parts of this adventure that makes me hang on.

The other half of me is tired of trying to make two puzzle pieces fit together that were never made for each other. That's how it feels. Like me and breastfeeding just do not work. It has been one problem after another. Thrush, torn up nipples multiple time, latch issues, not enough fat content in my milk, too much foremilk not enough hindmilk. Now my milk supply seems to be going down and he is not getting full even after long periods on both breasts at one feeding.

I don't truly know if my milk supply is dwindling or if it is just the lack of fat content in my milk, but either way it is heart breaking. I am not filling him up. He eats for 20 mins to 30 mins on each breast at one feeding and still turns around and takes a 3 to 4 oz bottle.

It just hurts so bad. My heart hurts to think that the most basic of motherly things may just not be meant for me to do. I feel like i failed somehow. I wanted this so bad. I wanted it for him and for me. I wanted to be able to provide him with my milk. The one thing only i can do.

I need someone to tell me it is ok! It is ok that it is not working out. It is ok that he drinks formula. It is ok because he will still be healthy and strong no matter if his food comes from a bottle or a breast. I need someone to tell me he will still love me just as much if i cant breastfeed him. That out bond will still be just as strong. It is ok that i am angry and confused!

I had the best month ever even through the pain and problems. I got what i wanted even if it didn't last long. I got to feed him from my breast for 5 whole weeks. I got to bond with him in a way i didn't with my other kids.

I will never forget the moments of just me and him on the couch. I will never forget the look in his eyes or the feel of his little cheek on my skin. I will not forget the way he held my finger in his little hands til he fell fast asleep. I will cherish those moments forever.

But.....

I need someone to tell me it is ok! I need someone to help heal this wounded heart.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Breastfeeding 911!!!

So we are three weeks into this journey and although things have been up and down i can honestly say they are mostly up.

Well all is mostly up...just one thing is seemingly still really stressful and frustrating.

BREASTFEEDING!!!!

Now i know it is a process and i think ours has been longer and harder than most lol. First we struggled with his latching correctly. For the first week he had my nipples tore up. After a day or two of pumping my nipples healed and we were back to the breast.

His latch was doing great. Nice big mouth covering all it was suppose to...yadda yadda yadda! Even the lactation consultant said he had a perfect latch! I was thrilled to hear it.

Just when i thought we were doing good week 2 brought us a battle with thrush. So 3 days of treatment with Gentian Violet, 2 purple nipples, and a purple baby mouth later we were thrush and pain free. Back to nursing again!

Now week three and although his latch is perfect about 90% of the time my nipples are back to being tore up after a rough patch of bad latching.

I am frustrated to say the least. After 2 whole days of pain free nursing follwed by one day of struggling with latching i am so sore i cant even put him to the breast without cringing in pain. I am just at a loss for words or even actions.

How long is this going to continue? How long before he has his latch down so well that he quits tearing my nipples up? I know using the bottle on occassion has probably aided in this processes but he seems to know the difference between bottle and breast. Like i said 90% of the time he gets the latch right and it is just that 10% of the time that he doesnt that leaves me frustrated and in pain.

So help me out here! Breastfeeding mothers i call to you to help a fellow feeder!

How long did it take before your nipples were toughened up? How long did it take your baby to perfect their latch? How did you keep your baby awake long enough to make sure they were getting full (he is horrible about falling asleep after 5 mins and then waking up starving 10 mins later)? How long and how often did you feed your baby? What positions did you use? Anyone who had latch problems and torn up nipples; how did you make sure you were completely healed? Did you pump for a few days and then put baby back to breast or did you just grin and bear it?

I really need your help here! Any advice at all even if it isnt for a question i asked. I dont wanna give up trying breastfeeding but i am so frustrated with this back and for cycle. I enjoy this bonding time so much and i just feel defeated sometimes.

Please if you are not a breastfeeding mom but know someone who is, direct them my way. Maybe they can help to answer my questions.

(Yes i have talked to a lactation consultant about all of this but i just want more info from women who are going through it right now or recently went through it. More learning never hurts and i am all about having as much knowledge as possible right now.)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Sione' - 3 Weeks

Do you see this baby......



And this...................

Oh yes and this too.................

Well he makes it really hard to take any time to get on the computer. He is not a very good sleeper right now. I think he has a built in sensor that alerts him when i am sitting down at the computer or going to cook dinner.

He is up about every hour to hour and a half wanting to eat. As much as i would love nothing more than to cuddle on the couch with him all day long and nurse, my boobs and my brain, not to mention the other two little men in this house, will not stand for it.

I have felt like a horrible mom the last few days. I realized Phabian and MJ are on there own a lot through the day because of the rigorous feeding schedule we are on right now. A lot of the time i find myself telling them to go to their room, sit down, be quiet, watch TV. Oh yes i said it! The TV has been doing way too much baby sitting for the last few weeks.

I know we are adjusting and soon Sione' will sleep longer and i will have more attention to give to them but the back of what is left of my sleep deprived brain tells me i am failing in the attention department. I feel like i need to do more and sometimes i fail to realize i just had a baby 3 weeks ago.

Yes 3 weeks ago i gave birth to a handsome baby boy who is now 9lbs and growing fast. He makes me smile, and he makes me cry tears of both joy and frustration. The bottom line is that these last 3 weeks have been beautiful. If this is the last time i will ever see this sweet, wonderful stage of life i am taking every second of it in.

I gave birth 3 weeks ago and as much as i tried to rest and recover life did not slow down for me. I still had other children who needed me. Meals had to be prepared. Baths had to be given. Songs had to be sang. Kisses had to be given along with hugs at bed time. The house needs cleaned. The dishes need washed. The bills need to be paid. And before all that can be done a baby needs to be nursed, changed, rocked, and put back to sleep.

Somewhere in there i have managed to get a few hours of sleep, a shower if i am lucky and eat when i can find 30 seconds to put together a snack. Life is hectic but there are no take backs (not that i want one). I know that soon this stage will pass.

Soon Sione' will be sleeping through the night. Soon he will be toddling around. Soon he will be playing cars with his brothers. Soon he will walk out that door for his first day of school. And my heart will break a little more with each milestone that comes and goes. My boys are all growing so fast.

Phabian will start Kindergarten in the fall and MJ will be in Pre-K and soon after Sione' will turn one. And that time will be here way too fast. So i am trying to enjoy these days and not wish them away just yet.

I try to savor the smell of his tiny baby skin. Taking in deep breathes as he nurses. Taking as many pictures as i can. I take as many silent moments as i can to just stare at him while he sleeps. I try to enjoy every second of him needing me because i know all to well that this time will pass. The day will come when i am no longer his favorite person and he doesn't depend on me so wholly.

Yes that day will come all too soon. Until then you will find me sleep deprived, hopped up on new baby smell, struggling to take care of 3 boys who mean more to me than words could ever begin to describe.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

To 3 Special Ladies

I can not possibly find the right words to explain how truly grateful I am to have had the pleasure of meeting you all, and having you help bring my precious Sione' into this world!

What you did for us amazes and inspires me. You gave me the birth I always dreamed of but was either too scared to reach for or afraid I would never get.

You gave me confidence in my abilities as a woman. You gave me courage to reach for what I wanted. You gave me strength to fight past the pain and use it to do what my body knew how to but my mind had always been to weak to do.

You all will always be in my heart and I will always remember to tell Sione' about the three women who helped bring him into this world.

I can not thank you enough.You have continued to help me even after we left the Birth Center. You all truly have given me a whole new confidence in myself both as a woman and as a mother. My sister said it best; You all are like a family, and I am proud to be a part of it.

Thank you so much,

Courtney and Family

Sione' - 2 Weeks

Yesterday Sione' turned 2 weeks old! Man how the time is flying already. I swear i was just holding him for the first time the other day but in reality i have been holding him for 2 whole weeks.

This week has held some ups and downs for us as a family.

Phabian and MJ both got a bad report from the teacher this week. MJ got very upset when he was ask to take turns on the bike at school. He took his frustration with the teacher out on a friend by kicking her in her leg. Phabian on the other hand punch another boy in the stomach over a car. The teacher was not upset with them and suggested that it is just their way of working through having this new change in their life.

Sione' has had horrible gas this week. His little belly gets so swollen and rock hard and he just screams and screams. I finally broke down and bought some Mylicon Drops and they work wonders. The only other thing that seems to help is letting him lay on his tummy for short periods of time (and always while we are awake and with him). I am working now on my diet to see if it is something i am eating that is causing the problem.

We had a bad battle with thrush this past week. It started with what i thought was just a sore nipple and ended a day later with a horrible burning feeling that i immediately knew was thrush (since i had it with Phabian). The midwife suggested i try Gentian Violet before trying antibiotics and i am so thankful for that. After 24 hours of the GV the pain was gone and today (day 3) i am back to normal feedings and symptom free. I am however going to go tomorrow and buy me some yogurt with active cultures just to be on the safe side of things.

The good news is even through a battle with thrush Sione' seems to pretty much have his latch down. Now if we could just work on moving his hands away from his mouth when he gets too excited we would be doing perfect.

Also we got his test results back on Wednesday. Sorry for waiting so long to tell everyone but thanks to the grace of God and a whole lot of prayers from everyone Sione' is just fine. His original test was a false positive and the second came back negative for Biotinidase Deficiency. We are thanking God that he has blessed us so much. I owe you all a big thank you for all the prayers you sent up for our little bug!

Sione' also celebrated his first holiday! I am not sure how much he enjoyed it but i am sure turkey flavored breast milk is just divine! He got to mingle with his extended family (well he slept, they ogled him). We truly had so much to be thankful for yesterday!

He is growing so fast. I can just see it in his little face. He is so, so perfect! I love him more and more everyday. I just look into his eyes and know that our family couldn't be anymore perfect. He completes us and nothing could be more wonderful than that!


(You can see the remains of the purple from the Gentian Violet)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Asking For Prayers

As i said in my last post Sione' had to have his PKU test redone. However we found out today it is not the PKU that came back abnormal.

The results came back abnormal for Biotinidase Deficiency. Once again i had no clue what this was nor did his nurse since this is only the second case she has seen in the 3 years at the office (there are 1 in 60,000 babies diagnosed with BD). She wrote it down for me and i came home and looked it up.

What i found out is that if he does have this deficiency it can come with some serious side effects such as seizures, weak muscle tone, breathing problems, and delayed development. If it is left untreated the consequences can be great. Thankfully there is a treatment and when caught early most side effects can be helped or even stopped.

We wont know the results until Wednesday or possibly even Monday and i am a wreck. I know things could be so much worse. This is not a death sentence but it is heartbreaking none the less.

I dont think any mom wants her baby to be sick even with a cold much less an autosomal recessive metabolic disorder. It hurts my heart to think that this is something that i passed on to my baby (since parents have to be carriers). I just want my baby boy to be healthy and happy.

So if you could please keep my baby boy and our family in your prayers. I need strength right now to keep from crying non stop. I dont want to over react but between hormones and stress and this news i am finding it hard to keep it all together.

God has blessed us so much and i know he will not give us more than he knows we can handle.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sione' - One Week Old

Sione' had his one week check up yesterday and so far so good!

He went Monday for his circumcision and weight check. At the time he had lost about 6 ounces and was weighting in at 7lbs 7 ozs. They reassured me that it is completely normal for a breast fed baby to lose weight after birth and he would gain it back soon.

Before his circumcision they did his PKU which i thought was bad enough but i was so sadly mistaken.

His circumcision just broke my heart. When Phabian and MJ had theirs done we were in the hospital so they came and got them and took them to a room far away to perform the task. I never heard a cry and by the time they brought them back to me they were calm and usually asleep.

With Sione' they performed the procedure in his Pedi's office and i was standing in the hallway. They gave me the option of going in the waiting room but i didn't want to be that far away so i decided to stay in the hall. Bad mistake!!!

I heard the initial cry of being strapped down and that was bad enough. Then the next thing i heard was the blood curdling scream of my baby boy. He screamed for so long and it was like torture for me not to barge in and take him away. I stood in the hall and balled like a baby as all i could do was listen to him scream.

They brought me in and i fed and rocked him and he calmed right down. I swear i am glad i will never have to do that again. My poor little heart can not and could not take it.

Yesterday Sione' was back to 7lbs 12.5ozs. He looks and sounds wonderful. He is mister peely pants. He is just peeling from head to toe and i can not pick it which drives me insane lol. We talked a lot about what is normal for his age and what i should look out for.

I have to take him back in on Monday because part of his PKU came back abnormal. They are going to redue it and then go from there. I am not well informed on exactly what PKU is but from what i understand it is very treatable and when treated early no problems usually follow. Prayers are always greatly appreciated. Also if anyone has ever had a abnormal PKU with their child and could fill me in a little more i would be happy to receive an email or comment from you.

As for home life in the first week things are going great!

Marcus is happy to have another son as am I! We could not be more blessed to have 3 handsome, healthy boys.

Marcus has been the greatest help ever. He is supporting me completely in my healing and breastfeeding. He has stayed up several nights with Sione' and aloud me to sleep, only waking me to feed and then letting me go back to sleep while he changes his diaper and gets him back to sleep. I can not tell you how much I love this man and how great and involved of a father and husband he truly is. I know so many women who would have a heart attack if their husband offered to help and here i am with a great man who does it with out me even having to ask.

Speaking of breastfeeding........................

Things are going well in that department. Sione' is officially a boobie fiend! He has had a few bottle of breast milk because of some early latch problems but for the most part all is well. His latch has gotten almost perfect and although we have good and bad days i can honestly say most days are good.

I can not explain how much it means to me that i am able to do this for my baby. I tried so hard with Phabian and gave up too quick with MJ. Both times i felt like such a failure. I guess the third time really is the charm in this case. He even flat out refused a bottle the other day and instead wanted me. It was one of those moments where i just wanted to cry with joy.

So as you can tell i am so happy and proud of our baby boy! We have come far from day one and i can not believe a week has passed already. It breaks my heart that time is going so fast already. He is a week old and i am not sure where that week went. I wish i knew that time would slow down but unfortunately i think it only goes faster from here. So i am trying to enjoy every late night feeding, and every squeak and cry. I want to remember every moment of this little life cause i know i will blink and he will be toddling around.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

Proud Big Brothers


People keep asking how the boys are taking to Sione' and answer hasn't changed since day one. Although they are completely infatuated with him right now i say give it some time.
Phabian loves to hold him and rub his hair. He is always the first to his bed side if he cries and loves putting his paci back in when it falls out.
MJ loves him but is keeping his distance. I figured it would be harder on him since he has been the baby for so long. He does help out by bringing me diapers and putting the binkie in his mouth but for the most prt he still does his own thing.
Neither of them will come close to a dirty diaper but they are the first to tell everyone about their baby.
We have been lucky so far that Sione' doesn't seem to bother them much at night when he wakes. I dont know if that will continue to be the case but i sure hope.
So for now we are one happy 5 person family! And i must say i am happier than ever!!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sione's Birth Story

So before all the excitement wears off and i forget anything i need to get this down and i know some of you are waiting to read it so i dont wanna keep you waiting long.

Thursday evening my sister called and ask if i wanted to go to the mall with her so she could get a new outfit to wear to a birthday dinner for her boyfriend. I said sure and so we went on a 3 hour shopping spree walking around (well i waddled she walked lol).

She dropped me off at the football field where Marcus and the kids were around 5:45 and i went to sit on the benches and call my Aunt to tell her how my NST had went earlier that day. I talked to her for awhile and while i was talking i thought i felt like i was leaking fluid.

I got off the phone around 6:30 and started to walk thinking maybe if i was leaking that would give me a sign and stop it or something. Instead what i got was a semi small gush of fluid when i stood up. So i called my husband off the field and told him i was calling the midwife and we were probably going to head to the Birthing Center.

After talking to the Kim the midwife we decided to meet at the birth center around 7:15. When i got there they did a speculum exam to see if i was indeed leaking and checked me to see how far dilated i was.

The first PH test came back inconclusive but i was dialted about 4 to 5 cm so they had me go walk for about twenty minutes and then redid the test. This time they definitely saw the ferning of the amniotic fluid meaning my water was definitely leaking and i was most certainly dilated 5 cm.

At this point the gave me my first dose of antibiotics and told me to order some food or wait til my first does was over and go out to eat because at 11 they were going to break my water. So we did as told. We ordered some pizza and when i finished my first does of meds we ran to his sister's house (which was right around the cornor) to get some movies to watch.

When we got back another lady had also shown up with her water broken. So we were sharing the birthing center (which thank God has multiple birthing rooms) with a very sweet couple who i swear had every member of their immediate family there.

So at 11pm they broke my water and told me to just relax and walk when i could. I did walk for about an hour and half around the parking lot and center then came in so they could give me my second dose of antibiotics.

Around 1 am we laid down to try and get some sleep. I doesed on and off between contractions for about an hour. At 2am the contractions had picked up so i decided to go ahead and walk around while Marcus got some rest.

At 3:30 am i woke the midwives and ask if i could take a hot shower because my contractions were getting harder to breathe through and the hot water might help me relax. They told me to go ahead and got the shower ready while i let Marcus know what I was doing.

At 3:45 am i emerged from the having back to back intense contractions. All i could do was sway and moan (Marcus said i sounded kinda like a cave man lol) through them. I was only getting about a minute between then and they were intense (wish i could use another word but painful just doesnt seem right even though it did hurt).

The midwife started my last round of antibiotics at 4:15 am and checked me. I was dilated 8 almost 9 cm and it was the worst part having to lay down to be checked. It helped to bend my knees and roll side to side. I tried to get up and sway some more but from about that time on the contractions were pretty much bringing me to my knees.

At about 4:30 i began to have th eurge to push so i laid down and they checked again. I had a little lip of cervix left so they told me to roll over on my hands and knees and see it i could hold out for a few more minutes.

At 4:35 am i began to really feel the urge to push so they told me to let them check for the lip and see if i could push it out of the way. So i laid on my back grabbed my knees and pushed as she pushed the last bit of cervix out of the way.

At 4:40 am i began to push. I truly understand now why they call it the ring of fire. The midwifes just kept telling me to use the pain as power and movtivation. Marcus was holding me and stroking my hair. He kept telling me how great i was doing. We had planned to video tape it all but i am so glad he chose to stay with me instead. I could not have done it without him. After only 10 mintues and 4 pushes Sione' was born at 4:50 am.

He was laid on my tummy and he opened his eyes and looked at me. I touched him and just couldnot believe he was here. He never did really cry but he was breathing fine on his own. He imediately started rooting around while they allowed the cord to pulse until it was done.

I wish i could say the worst was over but unfortunatly i started to hemerage a bit. After they cut the cord and the placenta was being deliverd the nurse took Sione' over to weigh him and clean him up a bit while they worked to stop my bleeding.

I dont remember much from this time on. I remember hearing them say Sione' weight 7lbs 13ozs and i remember them trying to get me up to go pee (they said sometimes relieveing the bladder can help with the bleeding) and me telling them i was too tired. Then apparently i passed out. I was given several shots of something to help me clot and after about an hour they got the bleeding under control.

So i scared the crap out of everyone (especially my husband) but in the end i and Sione' are 100% healthy!

I could not be more thrilled with my birth expierence and i could not have done it without the 2 wonderful midwives Kim and Becca and the wonderful nurse Susan! They were so supportive and kept me calm and informed the whole time. They did not take any unnecessary steps and they did everything they could to give me the birth i had always wanted.

If you ask if i would do it all again (barring the fact that Sione' will be the last lol) i would say yes! I would do it a million times again if the results would be the same. I have a healthy, handsome baby boy and i am healthy and happy as well.

What more could a girl ask for!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

He Has Arrived!





So besides today being my husband and my 5 year anniversary we are also celebrating one day of Sione' Marcellus being in our lives. If you ask me i could not have ask for a better anniversary present.
I will follow later with his birth story but for now here are the details.
Sione' Marcellus was born at 4:50am on Friday, November 13th 2009 at 40 weeks and 2 days. He weighted 7lbs 13ozs and was 20 ins long.
He has a head full of jet black hair and as far as we can see right now jet black eyes.
Sione' is so calm and hardly ever cries. He doesnt like his butt to be dirty but also hates to have it changed.
He smells so good and everytime i look at him i just want to squeeze him and be smothered in his scent!
Phabian and MJ are just in love with him as we all are.
I cannot begin to tell you how happy i am and how excited i am that he is here with us.




Wednesday, November 11, 2009

40 Weeks: Hangin In There





Weight: 224 didn't gain anything this week so still up 18 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight.
BP: 108/80
Sione's HR: 120's, Made me a little nervous at first that it was so low but she wasn't worried about it since i hadn't eaten recently and he was in a rest period which both lead to a lower heart rate.
Measurements: 41 cm/wks same as last week
Position: Still head down...wish he would push his little way out lol
Progress: No check, we are saving that for next week

So i am officially 40 weeks today! I never thought i would make it this far since Phabian and MJ were born early but seems i am here and finding myself more patient than i thought possible.

I am holding steady at +18lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. My blood pressure is still great and i am not showing any signs of too much swelling. Sione's heart rate was a little low today in the 120's but i also had not eaten before my appointment and he was asleep (or in one of his less active times during the day). She didn't seem worried about it so i am not either. She confirmed he is very stretched out but not an extremely big baby (just long). She did not check me today but we did talk a lot about what is coming.

I have a NST on Thursday to check him and his fluid levels.She wants me to (although she said this more to Marcus) have as much sex as possible to help soften my cervix lol. Like he has a problem with that! If i have not went into labor by next Wednesday she wants me to try a little caster oil the day before my appointment and then if that doesn't help on Wednesday we will discuss more stripping my membranes or possibly even breaking my water (not really what we want to do because of the group b strep). Either way we are pretty much planning that he will be here next week.

We joked for awhile about not wanting me to go to 42 weeks as it is the day before Thanksgiving and none of us wanna be delivering a baby on Thanksgiving lol. So with fingers crossed i will be meeting my little man sometime in the next week!!! I am so excited!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Do you know what i am talking about?

Yes Christmas! It is officially time for 5 Minutes for Mom's Christmas Giveaway!

From now til November 26th 5 Minutes for Mom will be giving you the opportunity to win some fantastic prizes. Whether you want to try to win something for yourself or check some people off your Christmas list they will have it all!

Check out the rules and how to get extra entries on the intro page. There are lots of ways to win and you don't wanna miss out of any of them!

Also since last year was so successful they are doing Under the Tree again this year!



This is our chance to give to those who need it the most! If you know a family who is in need or you feel deserves a extra special Christmas please go to the Under The Tree 2009 post and read about how you can nominate them to be chosen for this great gift!

If you just wanna show your support you can go to the button page and see all kinds of designs that will fit any blog to support both of these events!

May you all be lucky and blessed this holiday season!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

39 Weeks: He Is Never Coming Out





Weight: 224 up 4 lb from last week and 18 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight. Someone needs to lay off the Halloween candy lol!
BP: 104/70
Sione's HR: 140
Measurements: 41 cm/wks still measuring big
Position: Still head down...way down lol
Progress: I am still 2cm and not feeling like a laboring cervix

So besides the disappointing weight gain i am a little bit depressed about the lack of progress. It seems i have been having some very painful Braxton Hick Contractions but nothing more than that.

The midwife did reassure me today that even if it feels unready at the moment i could still go home and go into labor tonight. She said cervix checks are just not a accurate reading of labor.

She also settled my fears of going over due. She felt the baby and his position and said he is not a big baby. He is however very stretched out and relaxing. Which is why he feels so big to me. She said he has plenty of room to grow and I have very good birthing hips that will allow for a great delivery.

So the next few weeks will be a mix of NST tests (if i make it to 40 weeks), amniotic fluid checks, and waiting.

Tomorrow would have been my Mom's birthday so i am still holding out hope that he could share that very special day with her but i wont hold my breathe lol.

I am feeling much better about how things are going and although i am still tired, exhausted, in pain and ready for him to get here, I am also willing to wait and give him the time he needs to grow.

Such a great attitude i know! We will see how long it lasts though lol!


Friday, October 30, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

38 Weeks and Impatiently Waiting





Weight: 220 up 1 lb from last week and 14 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight.
BP: 118/80
Sione's HR: 140
Measurements: 40 cm/wks back to being 2 weeks ahead
Position: Still head down and no longer back to back with me.
Progress: She didn't check me again today and i didn't ask so no new news really.

So no news! No checking! No baby!!!!

I am STILL having contractions but just more random.

He is was down in my pelvis and my pelvic bone feels like it just might snap in half.

I am running fast out of patients with Sione' and my body, my kids, myhusband, and anyone or thing that crosses my path.

I am however grateful to my sister who took me to dinner and a movie Monday night. She wanted to take me out for a night before Sione' does get here. We went to Chili's to eat and then went and to go see Saw VI. I had a blast and it was a great movie.

So really nothing to update on. Same old same old and i am just sooooooooooo ready!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Sigh........

So i am still pregnant and still having contractions (3 an hour at the most).

I am feeling......................

Well..................

Crappy!

There is no better way to put it. I know some of it is just me hitting the same brick wall that all pregnant women hit when you are considered full term and miserable, but another part of it is just me being so tired of these contractions.

Call them what you will but Braxton Hicks just does not seem appropriate. I never had them with my boys so i don't know what they are suppose to really feel like but from what i have read they are usually painless. These contractions i am having are not painless. They hurt like someone is twisting my ovaries and biting my uterus. And on top of that Sione' decides ever so often to scratch my cervix.

That is the only way i can describe the feeling. It is like he is taking his fingernail and scratching along my cervix. Maybe he is! Who knows! Maybe he sees a light and wants to explore. Either way it is a very annoying feeling.

I am huge! My stretch marks, which up until now had not gotten any worse, are starting to turn red and get bigger. They are inching closer and closer to my boobs. I was hoping to avoid this and was thinking they could not get any worse. I guess i was wrong!

My back and legs hurt! I can not sleep good at night between peeing and tossing and turning because of pain. I am just miserable!

I am however happy that my baby boy is safe and i know he will be here eventually.

(((He will be here eventually right? Cause he obviously cant stay in there forever!?!?)))

So what am i to do. The only thing i can i guess. Wait it out!

I am doing laundry, cleaning, and walking (among more entertaining, fun things which are not so entertaining and fun when you are huge, exhausted, and miserable) to try to get this thing on a roll. He will come when he is ready and i have to make piece with that, i know! Waiting is just not my forte if you know what i mean.

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow and i am going to ask to be check and possibly see if they might consider stripping my membranes. Either way i will probably update you on Wednesday. Wish me luck and keep on praying for me that labor will get its butt in gear and give me a visit (or for me to be more patient lol)!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Labor Update

9:52am: So i am guessing yesterday was a pratice day for me. Sione is still warm and cozy inside my tummy and the contractions have not really stopped but slowed down to the point that they only come about twice per hour. I will be going to hubby's game today since it is about 30 mins away and he wants me close in case they start back up again. I hopefully will be doing a lot of walking at the game and maybe that will pick them back up. Either way i guess he will get her when he gets here. I am a little disappointed and embarassed that i made such a big deal out of it for it not to be the real thing. I think i was just so excited and ready for it. Either way i am sure he will be making his apperence soon and i will be overjoyed to meet him when he does arrive.

11:59pm: I am headed to bed! Contractions have slowed down to about every 20 to 30 mins again which is disappointing but i still have hope they will pick back up. I am going to get some rest and i will update some more when i wake up.

6:52 pm: My contractions are about 10 mins apart now and the midwife told me to take a hot bath and try to get some sleep in case things start to pick up. I just got the kids fed and Marcus came home from work so i am off to do as told lol. I will try to keep you guys as up to date as possible. If you follow me on facebook or twitter i will be updating as long as i have access to my computer. Wish me luck that things start to pick up and this is it!

Nature Walk To School





I had to walk to go get the kids from school the other day. I decided to take my camera and try to capture some of the beautiful Fall scenery. I am by no means a great photographer with my cheap digi camera but i did manage to get a few really nice shots.
Just one of the many things i love about the fall. The colors are so warm and bright. The sky can be so dull at times and then so bright at other times. The cool crisp air just adds to the feel.
We have been eating a lot of soup for the last few weeks. It is just that kind of weather. Last night we had clam chowder with salad. It was so yummy and although the kids were not very into the soup they did devour 2 plates of salad a piece lol.
Just as a pregnancy up date for those who care, i am writing this as i have contractions. Not very frequent or strong but i am hoping that maybe this is it and not just more random false labor contractions. I guess we will see with time.
I am ready for my Fall boy to make his appearance and today would be a great day lol. Please pray for me that if this is the beginning of labor i can be strong and make this journey. I will try to keep you all in the loop and update again later so you will know what is going on.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Eviction Notice: 37 Weeks and Midwife Update





Weight: 219 up 1 lb from last week and 13 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight.
BP: 104/68
Sione's HR: 145 and right up near the skin of my lower belly.
Measurements: 37 cm/weeks. Right on for my actual due date.
Position: Still head down and no longer back to back with me.
Progress: She didn't check me today and i didn't ask so no new news really. I am having some mild contractions here and there but nothing serious. Plan on doing a lot of walking from here on out.

I am officially giving Sione' his eviction notice as of today! His lease is up and he hasn't paid rent in almost a year so i think it is more than fair to ask him to vacate the premises lol!

On a more serious note i tested positive for GBS (Group B Strep) but the midwife assured me that all is ok and as long as i get my antibiotics then i should have no problem. We talked a lot about different scenarios and problems with my current pediatrician but we have a plan and it works for all of us.

I wont say much just that my pediatrician is not very pro birth center or midwife and it is causing some problems. He wants me to admit the baby back into the hospital for 48 hr observation after i give birth (since i tested GBS+) and i do not think it is necessary after talking about it with my midwives. I think it is actually more risky to expose a newborn to the hostile germ filled hospital if it is not truly needed.

Anyways we also talked about when i need to call them and when i need to leave to go to the center. I will be ask to come in a little earlier than a normal delivery since i am GBS+ and they want to make sure i get my antibiotics in.

Other than that i am just playing the waiting game now. He is free to show his face any time now and i am getting so excited. I am really ready for it now and plan on doing a lot of walking and other things ***;)*** to hopefully speed along his arrival. I am just done being pregnant and ready to meet my little man!