Saturday, May 30, 2009
Yesterday was a drab, cool day here. I was struggling to find the joy in the day. It was overcast and only in the mid 60's. Not what you think of when it is suppose to be the opening for summer fun.
I needed something to lift my spirit and smack some sense into me. I found just that in Megan's blog Fried Okra. Megan is such a beautifully elegant writer and i can only dream of being able to say things half as perfectly as she does.
Yesterday she posted about how blessed she is to have her family. And as i read through her words i began to cry.
How often do we forget to enjoy instead of complain? How often do we get caught up in our day to day struggles and forget that all that truly matter is that we are all here? How often do we struggle to find the sunshine amidst all the clouds?
Yesterday was that day for me. It didn't start out well at all. There were issues with money that, honestly, had both my husband and I in tears, the kids seemed to be feeling like that was the time to tear my house apart, it was cold and cloudy on a day when we needed it to be sunny and warm, and everything just seemed to be going down the proverbial drain.
After reading Megan's post it was like my spirit just lifted and i was looking at this impossible day differently. Her words about how blessed she was to have this wonderful family made me cringe in the fact that i hadn't thought about that all day long. I was too busy wallowing in my own self pity.
So i decided i needed to turn my attitude around and start looking for the good in my life.
First i spent a good 30 minutes hugging my husband and showing him the upside of our financial issue. We are by no means in a bad way. We are all fed, clothed, and want for nothing. We have a roof over our heads and shoes on our feet. My kids are not crying for anything because they have it all. God has blessed us to be able to make it past many struggles and this will be another.
We hugged and cried and told one another we loved each other. And in that moment i realized that i am so incredibly lucky to have a husband as devoted, strong, and willing to cry with me as my man is. I often find myself bitching at him instead of supporting him and i want that to change. He is a hard working man who loves his family more than life itself and i need to nurture that.
Later he surprised me by taking the kids to his Mom's and taking me to a quiet dinner just the two of us. Now before you go "saying i thought you were broke!", we figured out a solution even though it wasn't what I wanted to do. I trusted my husband and his opinion and we went with his idea for once.
Today i am working on loving every moment of my children still being children.
Motherhood is not easy by any means. Right now for instance i am pregnant, hot, hormonal, my patience is the size of a grain of sand, and my energy level is non-existent on most days, but do my boys care about all that? NO!!!
All they care about is Mommy's love and time. I want to try to give them as much of that as i can. They grow so fast and i feel like i have missed so much of that. I don't know where i was when they turned from infants to toddlers and now toddlers to preschoolers? What happened and where did all this time go!?!
It has been almost 5 years since we found out we were expecting Phabian. I remember carrying him those 37 weeks and cherishing the feeling of him moving inside me. I remember the joy on my husband's face as he held his son for the first time. I remember brushing my finger against his face when he was handed to me for the first time. I never knew that love could be that strong and that endless.
Here we are 4 years later and i couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He is perfect in every way. He is my joker. He loves to learn and question life as he sees it happen. He has grown so much. From a small 5 lb 10 ozs and 18 1/2 ins to a big 37 lbs and 40 ins tall. He is a daddy's boy but love attention from just about anyone. He smiles forever and i hope to remember that even on the worst of days.
It has been almost 4 years since we found out that MJ was on his way. I remember being so excited and at that same time terrified to figure out how i would handle 2 under 2. When we discovered he was indeed a he i was a little let down but quickly discovered that the love of 2 sons could never be replicated.
Marcus could not have been more excited to have 2 handsome sons and neither could I. We relished in that first year, knowing that we would not have another baby for quite some time. MJ has done some growing of his own. Form 6 lbs 2 ozs and 18 3/4 ins to a whopping 30 lbs and 35 1/2 ins tall. It seems like my time with him has flown by faster. My pregnancy didn't seem to last as long although it did by one week. His first year flew like a balloon losing air. And now he will be starting school in the fall??? When, why, how is this all possible.
I know that my time, come this fall, will be consumed mostly by caring for a newborn, but i do not want my boys to feel like they are losing their mommy. They will always hold such special and individual pieces of my heart. They are each uniquely different in their own special ways. Phabian playing golf with his Granddaddy and MJ a cuddle bug with his mommy. I am sure this new baby will fit right in with his/her happy family.
So today i am putting down my camera, and i am going to relish in creating some memories with my children. I want to remember the smiles on their faces and the light in their eyes. I want to capture in my brain forever the sunlight as it reflects off their sweet cherub faces. I want to cherish the sweet smell of pool water on their skin and the sound of the silly words that slip across their lips.
And when i tuck them into bed tonight i will pray that God will allow me another day to do the same. We are not promised tomorrow and sometimes we forget that. I want to make today my tomorrow and so forth and so forth. I want to take it all in and hold it in my memory and heart forever. I don't want anymore of these moments to pass me by.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I dont really have A Thousand Words to say today about this picture. I think it speaks for itself really. It was getting ready to storm yesterday. We were on a flash flood warning. As the dark clouds rolled in on one side of the sky the sun was still shinning bright on the other side. It was beautiful. A rainbow appeared and let us view it's mystic beauty for only a short while. I wish i didnt have so many obstructions in the pictures but it is what it is...BEAUTIFUL! What does a rainbow represent to you?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Yesterday as we enjoyed a peaceful day outside with the cool breeze my boys showed me why it is so special to have a sibling. MJ grabbed his blankey and pillow and layed down on the foot stool and Phabian came over and told him a story about the 3 little pigs. It was almost enough to bring me to tears. The love between siblings can be amazing no matter how much they fight at times.
PS Dont forget about my giveaway which is open til May 31st. You can find the button on the top of my sidebar and it will take you to the page. Thanks for stopping in!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Grammy from Grammy Girlfriend is having an awesome giveaway. She is rewarding 10 readers with some great prizes. The 10th winner drawn will receive a grand prize package of Disney Stuff. She will draw for her give away on Wednesday May 27th which is her grandson Parker's 10th birthday. This giveaway is all about 10! So in celebration of Parker please head over to Grammy's and enter her giveaway for your chance to win some great stuff.
My Mom made it a point to tell us as children that although visiting a grave was a great way to remember the people we love, they were not there. It always confused me as a kid and i didn't really understand why we went if they were not there. She would explain that although their flesh was there, their spirit was not. This is something that I would remember for the rest of my life.
I know a lot of people find comfort in visiting the grave a of a loved one. I am not one of those people. It took me 3 years to return to my Mom's grave site after shoe passed. I expected to go there and cry and ball and lose my mind. After all it was the worst reminder that she was not with me. Instead what i found was a calm feeling. I didn't cry, not one tear fell that day. All i could think of was my Mom's words to me as a child. She was not there! She was in my heart, she was watching over me, she was with me where ever i was.
I have only been back to my Mom's grave site 3 times since she passed. It has been 8 years. Sometimes i think about going and then i ask myself why. I do not need to be by her body to be with her and talk to her. She is where ever i am! I talk to her almost everyday and i take comfort that she hears me. She is with me in my heart and in my soul. She knows how much i miss her with out me having to say a word. The same can be said for the rest of my family that has left us.
Today is Memorial Day. Although it is a day where we honor our fallen soldiers we also honor the lives of those who left us. Whether it is your Mother, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, Child or a stranger. We remember today that they were here and the time we spent with them. So who's life are you celebrating today?
Today i am celebrating the lives of:
- Judith "Judy" Anderson - My Mother
- Mildred "Vinnie" Shawver - My Mamaw
- Tommy Shawver - My Papaw
- Lucy Anderson - My Grandma
- Margret Golf - My Great Aunt
- Robert "Bob" Anderson - My Uncle
- Nadia Mo'nee Ellis - My Niece
- Cassandra Mullin
- Kaleb Lukes
- Faith Hope
- Kayleigh Anne Freeman
- Maddie Spohrs
- Audrey Caroline
- Tuesday Fiona Whitt
- Issac Timothy Delisle
- Ruby Mae Smith
Also a special thank you to all the families who have sacrificed a Mother, Brother, Sister, Father, Uncle, Aunt, Child, or friend in War. My family loves and honors the lives of our fallen soldiers and those who are still there fighting today.
Friday, May 22, 2009
So as i promised in celebration of my 200th post i am hosting my very first giveaway.
Drum roll please........................................
Introducing N.A.Jade Designs!
My sister Chelsie has been blessed to be a mommy to 3 beautiful girls. Jayden Ma'ree who is 4 going on 20. Nadia Mo'nee who grew wings in her mommy's belly on August 31st 2007. Last but not least Averiana Jade who joined the family on October 11th 2008. Chelsie is a working mom with a passion for everything beautiful.
After spending a lot of time shopping and a lot of money on over priced store items, she had a thought. If she could make some of these things at home, herself, she could design them just as she wanted to match what ever she needed. As she began to make things for her own girls she had another thought. If she couldn't find exactly what she was looking for she was sure there had to be a million other Moms just like her.
So N.A.Jade Designs was born.
She makes beautiful Floral Headbands designed as you ask for them in the colors you need as well as Corker Bow Clips, and Mini Clippies. She also makes adorable Corker Ribbon Flip Flops that are comfortable and stylish for you kiddo. Soon to be added to her collection are Customized Pacifier Holders for the Paci lovers in your life. On top of all of this on special orders she will adorn your selection with beautiful hand placed Swarovski Crystals. I can just see the smiles on your kiddos faces now!
Meet Jayden Ma'ree and Averiana Jade both wearing their Mommy's beautifully designed headbands.
Jayden Ma'ree wearing her Corker Ribbon Flip Flops.
Well you are going to have a chance to win both of these great items. One winner selected by random.org will win a pair or Corker Ribbon Flip Flops. You can choose your flip flop color from pink, yellow, brown, black, or blue and choose any color ribbon to match. Also another lucky winner will receive a beautiful Floral Headband in any colors of your choosing.
So here is how things are going to work:
1. To enter leave a comment and let me know what you like about this product.
2. For an extra entry you can write about my giveaway on your own blog.
3. For another extra entry you can twitter my giveaway (make sure you include @ChaosIsUs in your tweet and your twitter name in your comment so i can find you)
4. Make sure you leave a separate comment for each extra entry.
5. Make sure you either leave me a way to contact you or check back to see if you won.
6. The giveaway will close on May 31st @ 10pm Eastern and the winners will be announced on June 1st!
7. Giveaway is open to everyone!
So enter away and if you don't have a kiddo in your life who needs these precious items make sure to tell someone who does.
In her post she linked to this video of ABC News. In the video they talk about how we try to protect our kids from everything. Helmets, leashes, tracker devices, Glovies, the list goes on and on. Then they ask how much is too much? When are we going over board with safety? How much of the world should we just let our kids experience on their own?
I find myself somewhere in the middle of the OCD parent and the Free Range Parent. You might remember this story from last year about the lady who let her 9 year old son ride the subway by himself in NYC! Now i can not say that i would ever, EVER do that but at the same time i don't think i need to wash my kids hands 50 times a day.
When i had my first child i remember saying to myself and my sister, "My kids will never have sugar!", and "I will never let my kid put dirty things in his mouth or eat off the floor!".
Here i am 4 years later and my kids have eaten dirt, stuck things in their mouths that don't usually go in your mouths, eaten off the floor, used public restrooms and forgot to wash their hands, drank sugar, watched tv, fell and bumped their heads, skinned their knees, and lived to tell the tales.
Now am i suggesting that you don't wash you kids hands when they go into what may be an unsanitary place? Heck no but i also don't suggest having a melt down ever time you kid touches something that you don't deem spotless.
I have always said to each their own when it comes to parenting styles. My own sister is very different about certain things then i am. I personally go by the motto of "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt"! Apparently there are scientist who agree with me!
My kids are healthy despite all the above mentioned things. Honestly they have never really had more than the common cold. Phabian is 4 and just had his first ear infection after his 4th birthday. So i guess for the most part (and God's blessings) i am not doing all that bad on my parenting.
There are a lot of things i would like to do differently. I would love to eat organic and use green products. I would love to sanitize things more and keep my kids safer from the major things. I do believe the world has changed since i was a kid. There are more germs, drug resistant strains of infections, more deadly flues and diseases. I just don't think it is possible to protect our kids from every single thing out there.
So i do the best i can. I wash their hands at appropriate times. I put a helmet on them when they ride their bikes. I clean a scrape when one happens. I take them to the doctor when it is needed. And i pray that God will keep them safe when i can not.
So i would love some feedback here. What is your parenting style? Do you fall under OCD, Free Range, or somewhere in the middle? Let me know what you think! Write you own post and link to it so i can read. You heard from me now let me know i am not alone lol!
P.S. I promise there is a giveaway to come. It is my sister's company that is just in the beginning stages and i am waiting on her to send me all the pictures and information i need. I cant wait to share with you all her beautiful creations.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
This will be my 200th post on my blog and i am thrilled that i have made it this far. I do have a giveaway to go with this post but it will probably not come for another few days as i need pictures to post so you can see what you are competing to win. No one wants something they don't know what looks like lol. I do however promise it is cute and if you have a little girl in your life that you adore, you will love it!
On to more serious things.
I was reading Grammy Girlfriend's blog this morning and was brought to tears. She is requesting prayer for a beautiful little girl named Maggie. Maggie is 9 years old and was diagnosed on May 19th with an inoperable brain tumor on her brain stem. The family is obviously devastated and is searching for help from St Jude's. If you could please pray for Maggie and her family in this scary time. We all know that God can bless use in many many ways unknown to us and prayer is the best healer. For more information please go to Grammy's blog and feel free to pass this on to any other prayer circles or church groups as you can never pray too much.
Also asking for prayers for Elaine over at The Miss-Elaine-ous Life. She is going today for her 20 week anatomy scan. Pray that God has blessed her with a healthy baby and maybe throw in that the baby legs wont be crossed lol. God does hear all prayers!
Now on to lighter stuff...
One of my frequent reads is always The McMommy Chronicles! Today she has ask a very good question. What would you do with $25,000.00? I don't know if i have the best answer but i can honestly say i do know what i would do with it. My husband and I have found our dream house for our growing family. (If you wanna see it click here) The house is not horribly expensive but we don't have the money for a down payment which would help lower the payments. I would take $15,000.00 and put it down on that house today, right now, this instant. The other $10,000.00 would go into the savings account for tax purposes and rainy day needs. I know it isn't exciting but it is my dream! Now only if someone would loan (or give) me $25,000.00!
On to pregnancy stuff...
Since my last appointment i had been having a lot of dizzy spells and nausea which since i am no longer in my first trimester was odd to me. I landed in the ER one day only to be told i was pregnant and that explains it all. Gee thanks i had no clue that i was 14 weeks pregnant with a bug lol! The nausea finally became so bad that i couldn't eat without laying down for an hour afterwards and always felt dizzy. I called my midwife and explained to her what i was feeling. We talked for about 30 mins before she told me she thinks she knows what is wrong.
Now this wont be confirmed till my next appointment on June 4th but i am pretty sure she was right. She thinks that my body is producing too much insulin which was attacking the food when ever i would eat causing my sugar to drop very low. This intern was making me very nauseous and dizzy. The cure? Eat every hour along with my normal meals. Now i have been doing this for 2 days now and it seems to really have helped. I am not nauseous, i am not dizzy, and i am also not as tired as i had been. It is a little aggravating to have to constantly be shoving food in my mouth but her if it makes me feel better and helps keep my baby safe bring it on.
the down side of this is that i have now lost 2 lbs. This leaves me at 15 weeks pregnant and -1lb from my pre-pregnancy weight. I know most people would say it could be worse; I could have gained 15lbs or something, but i hate losing weight while i am pregnant as it makes me feel like i might be harming my baby. On a up side i got to try out this yummy check mix recipe. I needed something to snack on that was healthy and not overly heavy so that was the first thing that popped into my head. I must say we are all enjoying it and it was so easy to make.
So just for kicks to end things on a fun note here is a picture of my (huge!!!!) 15 weeks belly!
Monday, May 11, 2009
I am not so sure i am completely grateful all the time but I am very grateful for many of my day to day blessings. I guess I should give my Mom all the credit although it came through her in not the way i wish. When i was a teen i was very ungrateful. I took advantage of everything i was given. I thought that the things i had would always be there. When my Mom passed away it was a rude shock that not everything will always be there another day. From then on i lived to the fullest. I don't take anything for granted or at least i try not to. Each day is a gift and you never know what tomorrow does or doesn't hold. I try to think that i live each day like it is my last. Enjoy it while it lasts as corny as it sounds.
So now on to my nominees.
1. Mel @ A Box of Chocolates
2. Brittany @ Becoming a Mommy
3. Chelsie @ Daytime Drama
4. Carrie @ Happy Family
5. Lisanne @ Lisanne's Blog
6. Christina @ Momology
7. MckMama @ My Charming Kids
8. Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyville
9. Laura @ Synchronization of Us
10. Elaine @ The Miss Elaine-ous Life
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I dont have any special plans for today. My husband is at work and i will spend the day with my beautiful kids. I felt my little bug's flutters today. What a great Mother's Day present. So since i dont really have a lot to say i thought i would post some great poems i found on this sweet site.
Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop and pray
For life's been anything but calm
Since You called on me to be a mom
Running errands, matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes
And other stuff that children lose
Fitting lids on bottled bugs
Wiping tears and giving hugs
A stack of last weeks mail to read
So where's the quiet time I need?
Yet when I steal a minute, Lord
Just at the sink or ironing board
To ask the blessings of Your grace
I see then, in my small one's face
That you have blessed me
All the while
And I stop to kiss
That precious smile
(For mothers who have left us)
In tears we saw you sinking,
And watched you pass away.
Our hearts were almost broken,
We wanted you to stay.
But when we saw you sleeping,
So peaceful, free from pain,
How could we wish you back with us,
To suffer that again.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God took you home.
If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother's arms
and tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.
Don't think of her as gone away
Her journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets
This earth is only one
Just think of her as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days and years
Think how she must be wishing
That we could know, today
Now nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away
And think of her as living
In the hearts of those she touched
For nothing loved is ever lost
And she is loved so very much.
MORE THAN A MOTHER
When God set the world in place,
when He hung the stars up in space,
when He made the land and the sea,
then He made you and me.
He sat back and saw all that was good,
He saw things to be as they should.
Just one more blessing He had in store;
He created a mother, but whatever for?
He knew a mother would have a special place
to shine His reflection on her child's face.
A mother will walk the extra mile
just to see her children smile.
She'll work her fingers to the bone
to make a house into a home.
A mother is there to teach and guide,
a mother will stay right by your side.
She'll be there through your pain and strife,
she'll stay constant in your life.
A mother will lend a helping hand
until you have the strength to stand.
She'll pick you up when you are down,
when you need a friend she'll stick around.
A mother is one who listens well,
will keep her word; will never tell.
A mother never pokes or pries
but stands quietly by your side,
giving you the strength you need,
encouraging you to succeed.
A mother is one who can be strong
when you need someone to lean on.
You're more than a mother to me;
a reflection of Him in your face I see,
a love that knows no boundaries.
I'm glad that you chose to be
all this and more to me.
You share a love that knows no end,
you're more than my mother,
you are my friend.
Friday, May 8, 2009
When we left we first stopped off in beautiful historic Savannah, Georgia! Did you gather that from my picture the other day of Paula Deen's The Lady and Sons Restaurant sign? We were there from Thursday through Sunday for my Maternal Grandma's family reunion. I must say i had never been there but i would definitely go back. Not only is it beautiful but the weather is great. It was sunny and warm the whole time we were there.
We were able to take a tour of historic down town. I must say the architecture is stunning. It reminded me a lot of historic Charleston, SC. They take great pride in restoring the old building to look as original as possible.The food was so yummy i cant even begin to tell you. There is nothing better than fresh seafood and homemade recipes. I mean comfort food is one of the best things ever. Who wouldn't like a great piece of fried chicken or some yummy seasoned broiled shrimp!
And the beach...oh let me tell you how beautiful the beach was. They were releasing Sea Turtles the day we were there but unfortunately i can not show you any pictures of that as my kids were too impatient to stick around and watch. What i do have is a very cute baby butt and some beautiful waves.Ok ok i know what you are thinking. Someone tell her to shut up all ready and give us a link to the pictures. So here ya go! Enjoy Savannah, Ga through our eyes!
Tomorrow i will share more about the rest of out vacation in the Sunshine State of Florida.
PS...My doc appointment went great yesterday. I am +1 lb from my pre-pregnancy weight. My BP was 108/80. The midwife was easily able to find The Bugs heartbeat and although i didnt get a number i can tell you it was a strong beat. I wish there was more to tell but it was a quick appointment!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
As much as i love a good vacation nothing will ever compare to your regular schedule and your own bed!
We had so much fun and i have about a gazillion pictures to share. I will try to put together a few posts at a time but no promises on when they are coming. Here is one picture to tide you over.
In other news i would like to ask you all to pray from my friend Brittany and her sweet newborn baby girl Kaci. Kaci seemed fine when she was born but later was readmitted when with a jaundice level of 20 and down 2 lbs from birth. She was refusing to eat and it was found that she had a blockage in her bowels. They have flown her to a children hospital to preform surgery to remove the bowel obstruction. As of now her jaundice levels are down to 12.5 when is relativly normal. Please keep baby Kaci and her family in your prayers.