Friday, July 31, 2009

Update On Phabian and School!

So as i mentioned before Phabian is back to school and they have already completed their initial testing that they do at the beginning of each year. You might remember my bragging from last year, so i promise this is not as braggy but more for record purposes. However i am a very proud Mama!!!

So, Wednesday i had a parent teacher meeting with Phabian's teachers. Phabian did very well. He scored above average on everything but especially high on his Motor Skills.

They measure it by setting a normal range (which is 4y4m-4y7m) for his age. He is 4y 5m and scored an overall of 4y 11m. He scored 83 and the cut off was 72. He scored at 5y 1m on is Motor Skills, a 4y 11m on Language, and a 4y 6 m on his Academic. His teacher said he would have scored higher on his Academic but he was getting very bored towards the end and lost a lot of interest in the counting part (She gives him 10 blocks and then asks if he can hand her 5, 7 and 9 blocks back. He gave her the 5 but then refused to do the 7 and 9 even though we know he is able.)

She said he can identify his full name and age but did not know his address which she said most kids don't at 4. He knows all his colors and count to 30 (he is only asked to count to 10). He can identify all the objects asked of him (ladder, scissors, leaf, nail, duck, fish, tractor, snake, but she said most kids cant identify the nail and tractor[they have to say tractor not truck or mower]). He can pick an odd object out of a line up of objects that are the same, and can draw all of his shapes. He can identify all of his body parts except ankle and jaw.

I am just so proud of my big boy! We talked about how the schools focus too much on testing a not enough on the actual learning but how these basic tests can really help the Pre-K teacher know how to help kids in a specific area before sending them off to Kindergarten.

We also talked about MJ starting soon and how MJ and Phabian are like night and day. She is in for a big surprise when she gets MJ in that classroom lol. He is just as smart but expresses himself so much differently than Phabian.

I must say i love my smarty pants boys!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Crier, Crier Pants On Fire

I have always been an easy crier. I cry when i am overly happy. I cry when i am depressingly sad (or just sad in general). I cry when i am angry. I cry when i watch a movie. I cry when i read a story or a book. I cry when i see a picture. I cry for no reason what so ever sometimes.

Now before I get a comment about how i need medication and i am obviously depressed allow me to say i have always been like this. I am, in general, just a crier!

I am very empathetic and sympathetic (ever wonder why the root of both those words is pathetic?) towards others. I cannot hear someone else's story, be it happy or sad, without ending up in a mess of red faced, tear streaked glory. Sometimes i really don't know what to think about this.

It seems i am very in tune to not only my emotions but to everyone else's as well. I feel a persons joy, their anger, their sadness, their depression. Sometimes this seems like a curse as it gets very overwhelming to feel these emotions. I know i could never truly understand a grieving mother's pain or a cancer patients joy at beating the odds, but just being able to feel an ounce of that ton is more than i could ever take (i think at times, or maybe that just didnt come out right).

The whole point of this post is to tell you that right now i am on emotion overload. I, on top of being crier in general, am now a hormonal crier. This pregnancy has had me crying at least 5 times a day everyday. Usually having to do with a story i read or a movie i watch. Either way it seems i have had my fill this week.

It seems like no matter where i turn their is something sad happening.

It started with precious little Stellan going back to the hospital. I have prayed and prayed for this little man and it breaks my heart that he and his family have to fight this battle. I cry for him having to be so strong and brave at such a young age. I cry for him mother who has to be strong when on some days she just wants to scream at the top of her lungs. I cry for him siblings and father who want nothing more than for him to be whole and at home with them. Most of all i cry as i pray for God to take them all in his arms and protect them and heal them.

I cried this week because Mary Louise and David are home now after a long battle! I also cried because although they are home where they belong thier dear brother Kuylen is not their with them! It is heart breaking(for me to think about and i am sure for them to live with) to have two children thriving and still have to grieve the fact that their should be three.

And this morning just put the topper on my cake.

As i was reading through MomDot i found a link to Kambry's Light. I had never heard of this site but was forwarned by the post that i would probably cry. Yes i ventured on because apparently i enjoy making myself cry. This is a beautiful story about how a family is turning their loss into a great support for other women. When Barry and his wife found out the diagnosis of Trisomy 13 they felt horribly alone. They, however, took this time to figure out how they could help others to not feel so alone.

I cried a lot as i watched the slide show of beautiful Kambry. I cried even more as i read their story. Mostly i think i cried because i wish so badly that my sister had, had a place like this when she lost her angel Nadia. I wish she would have had someone who knew how she felt and was able to help her through those hard month leading up to and following Nadia's birth.

I have cried a lot this week. Both tears of happiness and sadness. Either way i am on an emotional overflow and dont think i can handle crying anymore. So in order to try and give you some joy in your day (after this rather depressing post) here is Greg from Telling Dad on how he feels about BlogHer '09.

P.S. I didn't go to BlogHer but have been reading all the posts about it. It seems some enjoyed and some didn't so either way check this out cause it is hilarious!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Let The Fun Begin

Little league football practice started Monday which means two things to me. One football season is upon us an di could not be more excited! Two long evenings and Sundays of playing at the field while Marcus coaches the older kids.

The first day Phabian practiced some with the boys but decided he would rather play with his brother on the playground. It is alright since he still has a year before he can actually play. We just wanted to give him a feel for what football practice was like.

MJ and i had a great time playing on the play ground. Sorry for the crappy pictures but they are fresh memories made in my mind and that is all that matters.

Yesterday the boys played ball with a few of their cousins and had fun. I dont know about today since it is raining. We will probably stay home but i am sure there will be many more days of sun, pictures, and football!

For more check out Wordless Wednesday, 5MFM, MomDot, Ordinary and Awesome, and Seven Clown Circus.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


I really have nothing to write about. Nothing really on my mind. Those, i have found, are the times that i write the longest posts. Not really because i ramble on but i usually discover so deep down emotion that i never new was there til my brain clicked on and fingers start moving. So lets see what happens.

Today was a great day. Marcus let me sleep in while he took the kids to fill the WIC and to the football field for the final day of sign ups. I got up at 10:15 and took a shower. It is so rare that i get to do that since i am usually home alone with the kids Monday through Friday and cant just get in the shower without them destroying something.

After my shower i checked my email and cleared my reader (go me)! Then i went to lunch with a friend. We didn't go anywhere special but good food and good conversation always make any dine out experience 10 time better.

She came back to my house for a few hours and we just sat around and talked. No kids, no hubby, no interruptions!!! That is the greatest gift Marcus could ever give me. An adult conversation where i don't have to stop every five seconds to answer the same question for the millionth time.

Eventually he did come home with the kids and all 3 of them took a nap while i continued my conversation. She left right after the kids got up and then hubby was off to work as well.

It started thundering and really storming as hubby left. Down pour with winds blowing in every direction kinda describe it. That lasted all of about 20 mins but the thunder hung around.

It is now almost time for the kids to go to bed and i am so looking forward to it. I really have not seen them all that much today and although i love them to pieces my back is killing me and i am ready to stretch out on the couch and watch some TV.

The pregnancy is going fine. Sione is making his way slowly up to my rib cage. It sometimes feels, despite the fact that i am only 24.3 weeks pregnant, that he is already there. Although my back feels like i have a 1000lb weight sitting on it i am still enjoying every minute of him being safe in my womb.

His kicks are so strong now that sometimes i think he might burst through my skin. As i said that it felt like he head butted my pelvic bone. I am convinced he is going to come out break dancing as that is the only way i can describe the feeling. He feels like he has his head in my pelvis and is spinning on his head. Its like i can feel his shoulders spinning around. Very weird i know!

Unlike my pregnancy with Phabian and MJ my exhaustion wont seem to let up. I am up for a nap everyday and i am sure it has something to do with the fact that i have a 3 and 4 year old constantly needing something that involves me moving off of my couch or computer chair.

Phabian has become quite the smart butt as of late! He seems to think he has an answer for everything. For example the other day i ask him to pick up his dirty clothes and put them in his hamper which is located in his room.

Now i have no clue as to why he feels the need to take them off in the living room, no wait i am lying i do know why (cause his daddy does it too). Either way he looks at me and says,

"But Mama i cant pick my clothes up!"

"Why cant you?"

"Because if i do then you wont have anything to do!"

This is just a small example of why i love my kids. Apparently i have nothing better to do than pick up after them and make them food. This is what they think i do! I dont know what to think about that nor what to do about it.

So i think i will stop typing now for fear of boring you all to death. I know no one likes a really long post. Hope everyone had a great day!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Thousand Words Thursday

Cheaper Than Therapy

Yesterday while Phabian was at school MJ and i made biscuits from scratch! I have not had this much fun in awhile. Just watching him take so much precision in rolling and cutting the dough was enough to make my heart melt with pride and joy. Sometime between August and October he will start school as well and i will spend my mornings alone until Sione arrives. It is moments like these that i will miss the most.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


My house is the newest "Cool Place" for all the neat, big, and funny looking moths like this guy above. I have seen a lot of cool looking moths but never a dalmatian moth. He has been hanging out on my porch for 3 days now just moving ever so slightly from curtain to papers to ceiling.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Isn't It Ironic...

How we forget all the horrible parts of pregnancy until after we are already into it.

When i started getting baby fever about a year ago i had no thought what so ever about that hard, frustrating, and sometimes overwhelming parts of pregnancy. All i was thinking about was how my "baby" was turning/turned 2 and my eldest had started school. Soon my youngest would be in school and i would be home alone.

Everyone around me was having babies and getting pregnant and i was in high alert mode. All i could think about was how much i wanted a 3rd child and how i couldn't wait any loner to be pregnant.

Now don't get me wrong i do not by any means wish i hadn't conceived Sione! I am so happy to be carrying this little man in my belly. I also highly enjoyed/enjoy being pregnant. It is a unexplainable feeling to be carrying a life inside you. Nothing else in life can compare to the feeling of holding a life in your hands.

However (and this is the part where i get a little whiny) i had completely forgotten how annoying, frustrating, overwhelming, and teeth gritting pregnancy can be. All the little things add up and can make me just want to pop my head off my shoulders and roll it down a bowling alley (or maybe that is what my head feels like has been done to it).

I forgot how hard it is to roll out of bed (most of the time over my hubby) when i need to pee at 3 am. I also forgot how uncomfortable it is to have a 1lb baby sitting on and kicking your bladder 24/7. Having 2 pee every 10 mins is also not fun. It seems i spend a good amount of time in my bathroom.

Speaking of kicking babies!!!!

Why is it that this baby never sleeps? I swear to you he sleeps in 20 minute increments and spends the rest of the time kicking the crap outta me. Now i am so thankful to be able to feel him move and that he is able to move. I love feeling him move and watching my belly jump. However i feel like if there was a good hour or 2 where i could go without him kicking i would be doing great. He is so strong he even wakes me out of a dead sleep with his jabs to my ovaries.

All of the above mentioned things then lead to me being completely exhausted no matter how much sleep i seem to get. I go to bed early and still wake up tired. I take a nap and become more tired than i was before the nap. I am always in a state of exhaustion. Having other children to take care of does not help with this exhaustion.

To end on a bright note i have the greatest hubby in the world. For those who follow me on twitter or read my blog the other day you already know what i am referring to. My husband took the kids all weekend allowing me to sleep in and pretty much have 2 days all to myself. How great is he!?!?!?!?!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

What Do I Do?

I am lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband woke me up at 9:30 to tell me he was taking the kids with him to the store to fill the WIC and pic up some essentials. Okay i said in a still half asleep voice.

I was thinking this is great! I can sleep in a little longer in a quiet house and enjoy my delirious pregnancy dreams. I ended up getting up at 10.

Then he got home at 11 to bring in the groceries and informed me that he was taking the kids to go get a hair cut, then going to the football field (he is coaching little league this year) for sign ups and to help clean helmets. He was taking the kids with him for all of this and he probably wouldn't be back til about 3 (he has to be at work at 4).

It is now 1 and i am lost! I am not use to having the whole day to do whatever i want. I am not use to not having to fix lunch and attend to a fight or 2. I am not use to watching whatever i want on TV (for that matter i listened to Handy Manny for about 30 mins while they were gone). I am not use to being able to just sit here and stare at a computer screen without 30,000 interruptions.

What do you do if you get a free day with no kids? I have a friend coming over in a bit. She is bringing hubby some broccoli salad and possibly some Chinese for lunch. Gotta love that!

But really this is just weird for me!


Friday, July 17, 2009

First Day of School

I have the great pleasure of my kids attending year round school.

Now some might not see this as a good thing but i personally LOVE it!

For are family it means being able to plan our vacation not just during the hot summer months but during any of the multiple 3 week breaks. There schedule goes something like this:

  • School year starts in July (attend for 9 weeks)
  • Break in late September/early October (3 weeks)
  • Back to school in October (9 weeks)
  • Out in late December/early January (3 weeks)
  • Back in January (9 weeks)
  • Out late March/early April (3 weeks)
  • Back in April (9 weeks)
  • Out in early June for 5 weeks
  • And repeat....
So the upside besides vacation is my kids don't have a lot of time to forget what they have learned through the school year. Now in my area the only schools that have this are the Head Start Programs and the Elementary Schools (only 3 of them at that). I wish they would expand it to all schools but they say it would be inconvenient to the sports (specifically football season).

Now i told you all this just to lead up to this...

I got the great pleasure of being their for my beautiful niece's (my best friend's daughter) very first day of school. She is now attending Pre-k with Phabian. Chelsie's camera was dead so i also got the pleasure of taking the pictures. Jayden looked beautiful as always and Phabian was so excited to have his best friend their with him.

They love each other so much! The last picture is by far my fave!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Old Wive's Tales Predict

Katie @ Isnt TTC Suppose To Be Fun invited all us expectant moms to play along and see how well the Old Wives Tales really fare. I find it to be a 50/50 chance but we will give it a go since i already know what i am having.

It's a boy if:
· You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the extra weight out front
· Your belly looks like a basketball
· Your areolas have darkened considerably
· You are carrying low
· You are craving salty or sour foods
· You are craving protein -- meats and cheese
· Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
· The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy
· Your hands are very dry
· Your pillow faces north when you sleep
· Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you
· Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
· Your urine is bright yellow in color
· Your nose is spreading
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles
· You are having headaches
· You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

It's a girl if:
· You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
· Your left breast is larger than your right breast
· Your hair develops red highlights
· You are carrying high
· Your belly looks like a watermelon
· You are craving sweets
· You are craving fruit
· You crave orange juice
· You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy
· You are moodier than usual during pregnancy
· Your face breaks out more than usual
· You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
· Your breasts have really blossomed!
· Your pillow faces south when you sleep
· Your urine is a dull yellow color
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side
- You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number

Boy wives tales: 9
Girl wives tales: 8

See like i said 50/50! Either way i guess it comes out of the air of Boy but only by one point. This was fun though and i hope all of my preggy friends will play along!

Can You Find MJ?

These are a few of the only pictures i have from 4th of July. I didn't take many as i was too busy enjoying the family time.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Breastfeeding on MTV

I don't how many of you have heard of the new show on MTV called 16 and Pregnant, but after much apprehension, I decided to watch it.

I was adamantly against it when i first heard about it because in my opinion we give too much glory to teen pregnancy as it is. The TV, Magazines, and other media sources are constantly pushing teen pregnancy in our and our children's faces. Often they don't make parenting (especially as a teen) look as hard as it truly is. They glorify it and make it seem as if being a parent is just a piece of cake.

Those of us who have been through the sleepless nights, the sore boobs, the tantrums, the diapers, and the puke can attest that things are not always as simple (or as fun) as they seem. One of my best friends had her baby when we were just 15 so i got a first hand look at how hard it was to be a young mother.

So back to the real subject at hand. When i flipped on the season premiere of this show i was gritting my teeth to say the least. I just knew that this was all going to confirm my suspicions about the media and how we see teen moms. I cant say i was 100% correct in my thoughts but it didnt make me feel good about it either.

The very first episode gave me some comfort in the fact that they didn't try to hide how hard the young couple was struggling. They lived together in a small apartment and the father was still busy trying to live life as the mother struggled to finish school, work, and take care of the baby by herself. Needless to say they went their separate ways (as most teen parents eventually do).

With the same apprehension i went on to watch the second episode. It made me sick!!! The girl was a whining brat in my opinion. She kept talking about how it wouldn't be that hard to be a parent and how she would be fine. The final ticker for me was when she said there was no way she was breast feeding because she didn't want her boobs to be all saggy and stretched out. It made my day when her OB informed her that it was too late for that as pregnancy itself is usually the culprit of all the stretch marks and sagging! I ended up turning this episode off early as i could not bear to watch!

I skipped the next episode because i was still furious! When i flipped on the middle of episode 4 i was shocked by the image i saw. Here was a beautiful, new, 16 year old mother breastfeeding her beautiful baby right before my eyes on my TV screen. I was dumb founded but in the greatest way. I never, ever, ever, expected MTV to show a breast on its TV (outside of spring break), much less a breast with a baby attached to it!!! I was so pleasantly surprised that found a follow up episode and watched it from the beginning.

I don't watch a lot of MTV. Really the only shows i watch on their is Real World or the Challenges. But i am giving MTV a big thumbs up for showing a breastfeeding mom on their show even if she was a teen. After all the controversy of Facebook erasing pictures of Mom's breastfeeding it was a relief to see a media source not afraid to show the healthiest way to feed our babies (I think most of us can agree even if you didn't breast feed that it is the best way just not always the best for all moms).

The one thing i thought was lacking from this show was the option of adoption. With so many people out there willing and ready to adopt i found it odd that MTV wasn't covering this. How happy i was to find out that the last episode scheduled for Thursday at 10pm will cover a teen who is considering adoption. I promise i will be watching.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

My Beautiful Prize

The other day i won a contest held by Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend. I was drawn as the grand prize winner and won a Card Box! Yesterday i received my prize and wanted to show you all how sweet Teresa is and what a beautiful present she sent.

This is the beautiful wrapping paper my package came in.

What a beautiful box! Just stunning!!!

These are all of the beautiful cards that were in the box. How beautiful are those!

So i want to say a big thank you to Teresa for choosing me as the winner. I am in awe of the beauty of this prize. I am sure i will have no problem using all these cards and finding a beautiful use for the box.

Friday, July 10, 2009

A Little Get To Know

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend wants to get to know her blog friends better so she has invited us to answer a few questions about ourselves. She is even throwing in a good prize for the lucky winner. I am so happy to tell her and you more about me.

1) Where are you from? I was born and raised in Charleston, WV where i still live. It is a beautiful town and although rough around the edges it is a sweet country home.

2.) How long have you been blogging? I am coming quickly upon my one year anniversary of this blog. I use to blog on Live Journal years ago when i was a teen but eventually fell out of it. I also use to blog on my MySpace but didn't find it as enjoyable.

3) Married? single? how long? I have been happily married going on 5 years in November! I can not imagine being much more happy. He truly is the love of my life even if we do have our fights lol.

4.) Just one of your FAVORITE Blogs? Besides Grammy Girlfriend i would have to say Steph @ Adventures in Babywearing

5.) Your favorite thing to do when you have a FREE day? Hang out with my boys and if i don't have my boys any piece and quiet is accepted.

6.) Any kids? grandkids? what are there names and what ages?I have 2 boys and another on the way. Phabian is my eldest at 4. MJ is my baby (and always will be) at 3. Sione, my little bug, is due November 11th.

7.) Your favorite restaurant? OH MY WORD!!!! That is a hard one lol. Did i mention i am pregnant so all food is my favorite. If i had to pick one i probably would say Hibachi's Japanese Steak House. It is kinda like Benni Hanna's.

8.) What is your favorite TV show? Once again so hard. It i had to pick one i could not live with out it would probably be Grey's Anatomy. I am a hard core addict and can not wait for the new season to start!

9.) What is the thing you wish you were more disciplined in? I wish i wasn't such a procrastinator as that affects everything in my life. I always have a list of things that need to get done but it always seems to get longer and never any shorter.

10.) Where is your FAVORITE place to vacation? We go to Orlando, FL every year. I have family who lives in Winter Haven so we spend 2 weeks with them a year and usually partake in the multiple activities that surround the area (Disney, Sea World, Beaches, Universal).

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th and Pregnancy Update


Happy 4th of July aka Independence Day! Today we celebrate our freedom to be individuals. We have so many freedoms here that others are not privileged to. We take for granted a lot of these and today we celebrate instead of complain.

While you are BBQing with your family, swimming, or watching fire works please remember to give a prayer and a thought for our troops who fight for our freedom to remain intact. They risk their lives so that we can say we are free. Also remember the families that are behind these brave men and women. They need our support just as much as those who fight.

If you see one of our soldiers out today give them a big Thank You for all they do!

I hope you all have a great day! I am headed to a family BBQ with the In Laws! We are going to have a blast with lots of food, family, friends, and did i say food! Enjoy the day!

Now just as a reminder to myself and for a baby book reminder i am updating on baby and me.

We had our 21 week appointment Thursday. I gained 4 lbs since my last appointment but that only puts me at +2 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. My BP was 100/68 which is low for me but still normal and good. Sione's HR was 156 as usual. He was a little preturbed by the doppler and insisted on kicking it and dodging it. He is becoming quiet the kicker. He spends a good 3 hours on an off all day kicking me around lol. Yesterday we spent a good hour watching my belly bounce around with his kicks. As I type he is kick kick kicking away lol.

As for a name we finally found a middle ground we love. Sione has a middle name baring any changes. You might remember this post about my husband's cousin who passed away. they were very close and we have decided that his middle name would make a great middle name for our little man. So without further ado his name will be Sione Marcellus! I have gotten rave reviews from all our friends and i presonally love it. So thank you all who made suggestions and helped out.

Friday, July 3, 2009


This morning as i read through my reader i found an entry that hit home. Nell @ Casual Friday Everyday wrote a post about body image and how we see ourselves. She talked about how her own opinion of herself has changed over the years and how she has become happy with herself. i ask her if she would mind a piggy back post and with her blessing here we go!

This is me at 15. It was the summer after my Mom passed away. My Aunt Kay and my Dad had taken me and a friend to Disney and to Florida to see my Grandma and Aunt Linda. It was a good trip but my mind was all messed up. It would take me many years after that to get myself together and realize how special I really was/am.

I had huge body image issues. I remember people (especially guys) telling me how beautiful i was and how unique and special i was. It just didn't add up for me.

When i looked in the mirror i saw a girl who was too wide in the hips and had thunder thighs plus a bubble butt. My nose was crooked, my eyes were a boring green/hazel, my lips were not full or plump, I had no exotic look of some of my friends, and i was not the perfect size 2, blond haired, blue eyes, well dressed, preppy girl. I, in my reflection, was plain Jane. There was nothing special about me.

This is me at 18 right before i graduated high school. Of all the pictures i have of myself this is one of my favorites now. I think it speaks an honesty that only a lens can capture. I see hurt and pain in the eyes of a young girl who wants to be beautiful like she sees others to be. Only now do i see how beautiful i was in my own unique way.

At the time i tore this picture apart. I had a fat role on the back of my neck, my nose was too big, my eyes too far apart, my lips to pouty. You will not find a picture in the bunch that shows below my chest as i thought i was so fat. I was at my skinniest in years here in a size 8 and 160 lbs.

I hid my pain and insecurity behind a ton of makeup, revealing clothes, and a "I'm the Stuff" attitude. I had just about any boy or girl i wanted wrapped around my finger. I could fool anyone with my "I'm Hot and Sexy" attitude. Everyone but me! I felt empty. I felt alone and sad. As much as i tried to hide it i was insecure and vulnerable.

This is me at 19 the night before i went into labor with Phabian. I cant explain exactly what happened to me over those 37 weeks that i carried that special baby boy in my belly, but something in me changed.

I felt alive, i felt rejuvenated, and most of all i felt beautiful. Maybe it was the act of giving life and bringing it into the world. Maybe it was the fact that I had a husband who adored me and wouldn't dare even think of looking at another woman. Or maybe it was just a maturity i had never known before taking over me.

After the birth my body changed. I had stretch marks on my belly, i was heavier than i had been in years, and my body was anything but normal. But i was a mom! When i held that baby in my arms i knew i was perfect and that he saw nothing but beauty and perfection when he looked at me. Somehow i knew it too! I knew i was special and wanted and beautiful in all my stretched out, flabby glory!

Here i am at 23! This is one of the most recent pictures i have of myself. I was preparing to go out with my husband to a Valentines Day Party. I don't normally wear makeup and when i do i usually don't like it as much as i do when i am just my plain Jane beautiful self.

I still have my days where i think i am fat or my self image slips, but to counteract that i have 2 handsome boys and a husband that remind me how beautiful i am. I will never be a size 2 as i don't think it is even in me to be that small. I will always be stripped by stretch marks to remind me of the lives i have brought into this world. I will never be a blond haired, blue eyes, preppy girl, nor will i be an exotic beauty.

What i will be is the beautiful girl with the crooked nose, normal lips, green/hazel eyes, boring brown hair, wide hips, thunder thighs, bubble butt, strech marks, and flab. The things is that now i don't mind. I embrace who i am because if i don't who else will. I love me for me and i understand that i am the only person like me. No one else will ever take my place and that is exactly how i want it.

A big thank you to Nell @ Casual Friday Everyday for allowing me to piggy back her post today and inspiring to give myself a look over today and tell myself how beautiful i am. Thank You!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Wordless/Wordful Wednesday 13

So my dear sweet friend Laura who lives in the UK sent me a package. I have known Laura since we were pregnant with our first children. We are in a parenting group via yahoo and i couldn't imagine a more wonderful group of women. Most of us have known each other for going on 5 years and we are so close even if it is only through the internet.

But back to Laura. A few months ago i posted about what kind of Mom i had always dreamed of being. Laura left a comment and told me that she had a Ring Sling that she would love to give to me. I humbly accepted and i got my package yesterday with a few added surprises.

This is the Red Ring Sling from Freedom Slings. It is made of a very comfy material and i can not wait to try it out! This will be my very first sling and i am just thrilled!

She also sent a sweet card from her family congratulating me on the addition of another sweet baby boy! She is such a doll!

Last but certainly not least she sent me a box of Cadbury UK Chocolates. We had talked awhile back about how i love Cadbury Cream Filled Eggs but it makes me so sad that i can only get them during Easter. In the UK (I don't think they have been released here in the US yet) they make a candy bar version that is included in this box set. I tried one of each and they are all so yummy!!!

So i want to send a big thank you to Laura! You made my day with this package and your sweetness!