To 3 Special Ladies

I can not possibly find the right words to explain how truly grateful I am to have had the pleasure of meeting you all, and having you help bring my precious Sione' into this world!

What you did for us amazes and inspires me. You gave me the birth I always dreamed of but was either too scared to reach for or afraid I would never get.

You gave me confidence in my abilities as a woman. You gave me courage to reach for what I wanted. You gave me strength to fight past the pain and use it to do what my body knew how to but my mind had always been to weak to do.

You all will always be in my heart and I will always remember to tell Sione' about the three women who helped bring him into this world.

I can not thank you enough.You have continued to help me even after we left the Birth Center. You all truly have given me a whole new confidence in myself both as a woman and as a mother. My sister said it best; You all are like a family, and I am proud to be a part of it.

Thank you so much,

Courtney and Family

Sione' - 2 Weeks

Yesterday Sione' turned 2 weeks old! Man how the time is flying already. I swear i was just holding him for the first time the other day but in reality i have been holding him for 2 whole weeks.

This week has held some ups and downs for us as a family.

Phabian and MJ both got a bad report from the teacher this week. MJ got very upset when he was ask to take turns on the bike at school. He took his frustration with the teacher out on a friend by kicking her in her leg. Phabian on the other hand punch another boy in the stomach over a car. The teacher was not upset with them and suggested that it is just their way of working through having this new change in their life.

Sione' has had horrible gas this week. His little belly gets so swollen and rock hard and he just screams and screams. I finally broke down and bought some Mylicon Drops and they work wonders. The only other thing that seems to help is letting him lay on his tummy for short periods of time (and always while we are awake and with him). I am working now on my diet to see if it is something i am eating that is causing the problem.

We had a bad battle with thrush this past week. It started with what i thought was just a sore nipple and ended a day later with a horrible burning feeling that i immediately knew was thrush (since i had it with Phabian). The midwife suggested i try Gentian Violet before trying antibiotics and i am so thankful for that. After 24 hours of the GV the pain was gone and today (day 3) i am back to normal feedings and symptom free. I am however going to go tomorrow and buy me some yogurt with active cultures just to be on the safe side of things.

The good news is even through a battle with thrush Sione' seems to pretty much have his latch down. Now if we could just work on moving his hands away from his mouth when he gets too excited we would be doing perfect.

Also we got his test results back on Wednesday. Sorry for waiting so long to tell everyone but thanks to the grace of God and a whole lot of prayers from everyone Sione' is just fine. His original test was a false positive and the second came back negative for Biotinidase Deficiency. We are thanking God that he has blessed us so much. I owe you all a big thank you for all the prayers you sent up for our little bug!

Sione' also celebrated his first holiday! I am not sure how much he enjoyed it but i am sure turkey flavored breast milk is just divine! He got to mingle with his extended family (well he slept, they ogled him). We truly had so much to be thankful for yesterday!

He is growing so fast. I can just see it in his little face. He is so, so perfect! I love him more and more everyday. I just look into his eyes and know that our family couldn't be anymore perfect. He completes us and nothing could be more wonderful than that!

(You can see the remains of the purple from the Gentian Violet)

Asking For Prayers

As i said in my last post Sione' had to have his PKU test redone. However we found out today it is not the PKU that came back abnormal.

The results came back abnormal for Biotinidase Deficiency. Once again i had no clue what this was nor did his nurse since this is only the second case she has seen in the 3 years at the office (there are 1 in 60,000 babies diagnosed with BD). She wrote it down for me and i came home and looked it up.

What i found out is that if he does have this deficiency it can come with some serious side effects such as seizures, weak muscle tone, breathing problems, and delayed development. If it is left untreated the consequences can be great. Thankfully there is a treatment and when caught early most side effects can be helped or even stopped.

We wont know the results until Wednesday or possibly even Monday and i am a wreck. I know things could be so much worse. This is not a death sentence but it is heartbreaking none the less.

I dont think any mom wants her baby to be sick even with a cold much less an autosomal recessive metabolic disorder. It hurts my heart to think that this is something that i passed on to my baby (since parents have to be carriers). I just want my baby boy to be healthy and happy.

So if you could please keep my baby boy and our family in your prayers. I need strength right now to keep from crying non stop. I dont want to over react but between hormones and stress and this news i am finding it hard to keep it all together.

God has blessed us so much and i know he will not give us more than he knows we can handle.

Sione' - One Week Old

Sione' had his one week check up yesterday and so far so good!

He went Monday for his circumcision and weight check. At the time he had lost about 6 ounces and was weighting in at 7lbs 7 ozs. They reassured me that it is completely normal for a breast fed baby to lose weight after birth and he would gain it back soon.

Before his circumcision they did his PKU which i thought was bad enough but i was so sadly mistaken.

His circumcision just broke my heart. When Phabian and MJ had theirs done we were in the hospital so they came and got them and took them to a room far away to perform the task. I never heard a cry and by the time they brought them back to me they were calm and usually asleep.

With Sione' they performed the procedure in his Pedi's office and i was standing in the hallway. They gave me the option of going in the waiting room but i didn't want to be that far away so i decided to stay in the hall. Bad mistake!!!

I heard the initial cry of being strapped down and that was bad enough. Then the next thing i heard was the blood curdling scream of my baby boy. He screamed for so long and it was like torture for me not to barge in and take him away. I stood in the hall and balled like a baby as all i could do was listen to him scream.

They brought me in and i fed and rocked him and he calmed right down. I swear i am glad i will never have to do that again. My poor little heart can not and could not take it.

Yesterday Sione' was back to 7lbs 12.5ozs. He looks and sounds wonderful. He is mister peely pants. He is just peeling from head to toe and i can not pick it which drives me insane lol. We talked a lot about what is normal for his age and what i should look out for.

I have to take him back in on Monday because part of his PKU came back abnormal. They are going to redue it and then go from there. I am not well informed on exactly what PKU is but from what i understand it is very treatable and when treated early no problems usually follow. Prayers are always greatly appreciated. Also if anyone has ever had a abnormal PKU with their child and could fill me in a little more i would be happy to receive an email or comment from you.

As for home life in the first week things are going great!

Marcus is happy to have another son as am I! We could not be more blessed to have 3 handsome, healthy boys.

Marcus has been the greatest help ever. He is supporting me completely in my healing and breastfeeding. He has stayed up several nights with Sione' and aloud me to sleep, only waking me to feed and then letting me go back to sleep while he changes his diaper and gets him back to sleep. I can not tell you how much I love this man and how great and involved of a father and husband he truly is. I know so many women who would have a heart attack if their husband offered to help and here i am with a great man who does it with out me even having to ask.

Speaking of breastfeeding........................

Things are going well in that department. Sione' is officially a boobie fiend! He has had a few bottle of breast milk because of some early latch problems but for the most part all is well. His latch has gotten almost perfect and although we have good and bad days i can honestly say most days are good.

I can not explain how much it means to me that i am able to do this for my baby. I tried so hard with Phabian and gave up too quick with MJ. Both times i felt like such a failure. I guess the third time really is the charm in this case. He even flat out refused a bottle the other day and instead wanted me. It was one of those moments where i just wanted to cry with joy.

So as you can tell i am so happy and proud of our baby boy! We have come far from day one and i can not believe a week has passed already. It breaks my heart that time is going so fast already. He is a week old and i am not sure where that week went. I wish i knew that time would slow down but unfortunately i think it only goes faster from here. So i am trying to enjoy every late night feeding, and every squeak and cry. I want to remember every moment of this little life cause i know i will blink and he will be toddling around.

I <3 Baby Feet