Monday, September 27, 2010

Please Excuse Me While I Rant

I teach my children manors. I teach them to respect the rules even if they are at someone else's house. I teach them to not back talk and to always always say please and thank you.

Do they always, 100 % of the time, follow these things that i teach them? Of course not. They are kids after all and they do not always do as they are taught.

However, I am a firm believer that you can tell a child who has been taught these things from the children who have not.

Clue #1: My children will always say please and thank you even if they have to be prompted. Children who have not been taught, even when prompted, just kinda look at you expectantly and with a blank stare.

Clue #2: My children would never just enter a home without first knocking (unless said home is owned by Granny or Poppy lol) and or asking if it is ok to come over. Above mentioned untaught children will just walk into a home, or invite themselves in.

Clue #3: When speaking about manors my children know it is rude to chew with your mouth open and smack our lips. Untaught children can be heard from miles away, while they chomp on the chips that they have so nicely given themselves from your kitchen.

Clue #4: My children know better than to ever interrupt an adult when he or she is speaking. They are to say excuse me and wait patiently. Children who have not been taught will continuously nag, talk, touch you til you answer them.

Clue #5: My children have been taught to address all elders (by which i mean adults) as Ma'am or Sir (Miss or Mister followed by a first name is acceptable if it is not a close relation but yet someone they know). It is the way i was raised and a sign of respect. Children who have not been taught manors will refer to you as "Hey you", "A, A, A....", or just poke you til you show them you are listening.

Now as i said above, do my kids always follow these rules? No, but i can honestly say about 75% of the time they do or will with a little prompting. We are still working on things. They are only 4, 5, and 10 month old. They have more things to learn and more time to learn them.

I also understand that not all people believe in teaching children to call people ma'am or sir. A lot of people now a days think it is old fashion or antiquated. But as i said before this is how i was raised and their for how i raise my children. If you don't want my child to call you ma'am or sir please tell them your first name so they can address you as Miss ____ or Mister _____.

To another point, i am not a free babysitting service. You may not allow your children to come over here to play while you go run errands or such without first asking me if it is ok. Do not think because your kids are at my house it is ok for you to take a nap. I may send your children home at any moment since you have not informed me that you will not be their.

Also i am not a food bank. I know kids will often ask without thinking but i find it a little crazy when your children ask me everyday if they can have something to eat. When i go to the store i buy food according to how many people i have to feed and usually i only include the people that actually sleep in my house. I do not mind giving your kids lunch if they are over playing and i am feeding my kids but every day 3 times a day seems a little over board to me. Maybe it is just me?

While your children are at my house i expect them to follow my rules even if those same rules do not apply to them at home. Since they are at my house, my rules do apply. If they fail to adhere to my rules after a fair warning i will send them home, no questions asked, and they will not be allowed to come back over until they can follow the rules. i feel a little bit better. I got that off my chest, out of my system. Maybe it is just me but i just get so aggravated by things like this. Hope everyone is having a blessed day.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

It really is. But what they forget to inform you of is that it is harder on the parent of the child doing the above mentioned growing.

I read a post here this morning that had me absolutly bawling my eyes out like a big hormonal baby.

See i am suffering from growing pains. Not the kind that make your legs and arms ache. Not even the kind that make me want another baby. Just the kind that make my heart ache and wrench every time i look over and realize that my little boys are not so little anymore.

They are growing up way too fast. In every way, shape, and form they are becoming little, minature men.

I am no longer their favorite person to play with. They have a list of friends that doesnt include me. I am no longer the one that ties thier shoes cause they are learning to do that on their own. I hardly ever read the books anymore cause Phabian has started to read them in my place.

They are getting to big to cuddle with mommy anymore so i cherish those moments even more. They dont need me to kiss every boo boo and scratch cause big boys dont cry when they get minor bumps and bruises and even when they do "mommy kisses" dont make everything better anymore.

Phabian has started to roll his eyes and shrug away when i try to kiss him goodbye when he gets on the bus in the morning. He doesnt want all his friends to see mommy loving on him. MJ tells me "Bye Mommy" trying to hurry me out of the class room when i drop him off in the mornings. They dont need mommy to protect them anymore and to stay until they have adjusted.

They need me in different ways now as they always will as they grow. Soon i will be the shoulder when their heart is broken by the girl they loved so much, or the teary eyes showing pride as they recieve their high school diploma or go off to senior prom.

All too soon i will be the adoring mother in law watching her son stare at the woman of his dreams. Or the grandma watching the baby so the married couple can celebrate an anniversary.

These things are just around the cornor and they are flying like a 747 right at my heart. And my heart is too weak to withstand the impact.

I ache when i realize my babies have went from this:

To this:

How did we get here? When did they grow so big? Who told them it was time to grow up? Where in the HELL is my pause button?

I am trying my hardest to adjust, but the twists just keep coming and they just keep growing older and bigger. Some day too soon they will out grow me. My lap will become too small to hold them, but my heart will forever see them just like they are babies.

They will always and forever be Mommy's Little Boys!