Growing Up Is Hard To Do

It really is. But what they forget to inform you of is that it is harder on the parent of the child doing the above mentioned growing.

I read a post here this morning that had me absolutly bawling my eyes out like a big hormonal baby.

See i am suffering from growing pains. Not the kind that make your legs and arms ache. Not even the kind that make me want another baby. Just the kind that make my heart ache and wrench every time i look over and realize that my little boys are not so little anymore.

They are growing up way too fast. In every way, shape, and form they are becoming little, minature men.

I am no longer their favorite person to play with. They have a list of friends that doesnt include me. I am no longer the one that ties thier shoes cause they are learning to do that on their own. I hardly ever read the books anymore cause Phabian has started to read them in my place.

They are getting to big to cuddle with mommy anymore so i cherish those moments even more. They dont need me to kiss every boo boo and scratch cause big boys dont cry when they get minor bumps and bruises and even when they do "mommy kisses" dont make everything better anymore.

Phabian has started to roll his eyes and shrug away when i try to kiss him goodbye when he gets on the bus in the morning. He doesnt want all his friends to see mommy loving on him. MJ tells me "Bye Mommy" trying to hurry me out of the class room when i drop him off in the mornings. They dont need mommy to protect them anymore and to stay until they have adjusted.

They need me in different ways now as they always will as they grow. Soon i will be the shoulder when their heart is broken by the girl they loved so much, or the teary eyes showing pride as they recieve their high school diploma or go off to senior prom.

All too soon i will be the adoring mother in law watching her son stare at the woman of his dreams. Or the grandma watching the baby so the married couple can celebrate an anniversary.

These things are just around the cornor and they are flying like a 747 right at my heart. And my heart is too weak to withstand the impact.

I ache when i realize my babies have went from this:

To this:

How did we get here? When did they grow so big? Who told them it was time to grow up? Where in the HELL is my pause button?

I am trying my hardest to adjust, but the twists just keep coming and they just keep growing older and bigger. Some day too soon they will out grow me. My lap will become too small to hold them, but my heart will forever see them just like they are babies.

They will always and forever be Mommy's Little Boys!