Saturday, July 31, 2010

Operation: Save the Baby Bird

This is one of those stories i should have posted forever ago but have just been busy (or not).

The few weeks ago i was sitting on the front porch deeply involved in a book. The kids were in the back yard playing with their day. It was a nice warm evening. Peaceful and quiet.

Then out of nowhere i hear a scream and my kids running through the house. I being the great Mom i am, and not the least bit self absorbed in the book i am reading, yell at them from the front porch to stop yelling before they wake the baby up.

Phabian then comes out to the porch and whispers to me that there is a baby bird in our back yard. So i put down the book and venture out to find this.

Laying right in the middle of my yard is a baby bird that apparently couldnt fly as well as he thought. He had taken off from a near by tree and had a semi soft crash landing in our yard.

So what do i do? I call my friend and ask what to do, thats what. She informed me we should use a towel to pick it up and place it in a tree or bush and see if it flys home. So what do i do now?

I go grab my camera of course (and a towel). I think i frightened the poor thing with my flash.

So after our photo session i used the towel to pick him up and put him in our pine bush in the front yard.

We went back out back and played for awhile. Checking the baby bird about every 10 minutes cause the kids couldnt resist.

Finally when we went back before bed (about 2 hours later) he was gone. We scanned the yard to make sure he hadnt fallen out again. The kids took every precaution tip toeing around as to not step on him incase he was on the ground.

Alas he had flown away back to his Mama. So we saved a baby bird. The kids learned a lesson.

I must say though when i was explaining to the kids why we cant touch it, they didnt quite understand why the Mama bird wouldnt love it anymore if it smelled like us.

"But mommy you will always love us no matter what we smell like right?"

Ah yes my loves. No matter your smell mommy will always love you.

Just Because...

I am so behind on posts. I will have one for Sione' coming up for his 8 and 9 months. Then i still have to throw some pictures at ya from Phabian's preschool graduation. Man i am just slackin. In the mean time here is some cuteness and a biscuit!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Yesterday was my first baby's, first day of kindergarten.

I am still not sure how i feel about it in all honesty. It's like letting go of a balloon and watching it float away. It seems like it takes forever to disappear into the sky but in reality it only takes seconds. That is the closets i can get to explaining how i felt yesterday.

He finally gets to ride the school bus which excited him more than anything. Me? Well it made the bottom drop out of my stomach. Kinda like when you go down a steep hill on a rollar coaster and your butt lifts off the seat, and your stomach hits your throat. Yea that would be the feeling I had yesterday as i watch the bus pull away from the curb with my baby boy on it.

All his life i have been there. Protecting him, making decisions for him, helping him to make decisions as he got old enough to, showing him which way is right and which is wrong. Yesterday i had to let go. I had to watch him climb those bus stairs to go off into a world where Mommy is not able to be.

He looked so small but not a bit scared. He left the scared part up to me haha. I worried all day long. I kept waiting for the call from the school telling me he was in tears and screaming for me. It never came. And i think in the end that was almost as bad as if it would have came.

The day went fine until school let out. First i must explain what is happening with our schools right now so that you will possible get a better grasp (or as good as i have since no one seems to be able to help anyone understand) of the situation.

We have 2 schools that are very old and are being combined into one brand spanking new school. The new school, however, will not be ready til after Christmas break. In order to make the transition easier they split the grades up according to school. kindergarten through second grade attend one school and third through fifth attend the other. They did this, so we are told, to allow the teachers to already have their classes sorted and when we all combine into the new school all they will have to do is assign a class room instead of having to sort kids into new classes. This made since to me for all of about 5 seconds until i realized the chaos it is causing for everyone.

The bus schedule runs like this: Phabian's bus (314) picks him up on the cornor at 7:30am then proceeds to pick up all the other kids. He arrives at school 1 (not his school) and is shuffled off his bus (314) and onto another bus (210). Bus 210 proceeds to take all the k-2 kids to school 2 (Phabian's school). At 2:45pm school lets out. Phabian and other kids are loaded onto bus 210 where they then go to school 1 and are shuffeled off of bus 210 back onto bus 314 and then ride home.

Now if that seems confusing to you imagine how it must seem to the 5 year old who has never riden a school bus to school and this is his very first day of kindergarten. Overwhelming? Most definitely.

Now take into consideration we (the parents) have not been informed of any of this. No one has told us anything more than where to catch the bus and the bus number 314, and where to pick our kids up and the bus number 314. We knew nothing about transfering buses or bus 210.

So Phabian's teacher calls us at 2:30 and asks us where his bus stop is so she can place him on the right bus. We told her and she put him on what we assumed was but 314 (the only bus we knew about.) 30 minutes later we call her back since we have not seen heads or tails of the bus. She tells us then that he is on bus 210 and that the principal is on the bus with the kids. She at the time had no idea that the bus would be going to the other school as neither did we. She told us she would call the principal and call us back asap. 45 minutes since school let out she calls us back he is stillon bus 210 and they are at the other school picking up kids.

Ok here is where all hell breaks lose. At 4pm an hour after school has let out bus 314 pulls up drops the other kids off...Where is my son??????

They inform (being the bus driver and the other bus aid) us he is still on bus 210 and should be along soon. We call the teacher back. Now here is where i will tell you I LOVE HIS TEACHER! She was just as concerned as we were and kept in contact with us the whole time. She gave us her personal cell number and up to the second we finally got him off the bus kept us informed of what was happening. She is a great woman and did everything she possibly could to make sure we were and Phabian was ok. She did her job and put him on the right bus and what happened from there was in no way her fault.

Finally at 4:30 after i was ready to bite someones head off bus 210 pulled up (with the principal on it) and dropped my handsom smiling son off to us. He was no worse for the wear and seemed to have even enjoyed his extended bus ride. The following conversation went something like this:

Me: May I ask you (the principal) if this is the bus he is suppose to ride home or did something go wrong?

Principal: (in snotty tone) Well he was SUPPOSE to get on bus 314 but he didnt know where his bus stop was.

Me: (trying to stay calm) Did you try to contact his teacher because she knew.

Principal: (getting more snotty) Well we are all confused! We ask him where he was going but all he could tell us was the church with the white buses. We had no clue. So we just kept him with us!

Me: (taking deep deep breathes) OKAY! Thank you!

Honestly what i wanted to do was jump on the bus and strangle the woman. How can you possibly blame my 5 year old son, who has never riden a bus before, to know where his bus stop is. He was probably confused and terrified. So all i could do was walk home, breathe deep, and curse under my breath. And i did! All three!

So needless to say we are hoping for the best today. He now knows he is suppose to ride 314 home. So if asked he tells then 3-1-4 when someone asks what bus he rides. Now if it happens again today i am telling you there will be bad stuff. My husband is not here to help me stay calm and i am not a patient woman when it comes to my kids being toyed with.

His teacher said she was going to make him a tag today so that he and the bus aid (or who ever) would know. We also introduced him to one of the kids on his bus and told them to help each other when it came to switching buses. Phabian is a smart kids but he is only 5 and even most of us adults cant comprehend this mess.

So i let my 5 year old spread his wings yesterday. He flew brilliantly. It is the first step in a long line of firsts and letting go inch by inch of the balloon string. His teacher later told me 9when i called her to let her know we had him) that he did great at school. He listened well, sat quietly, and played nice with the other kids. She said he was a model student on his first impression and she was glad to have him in her class.

My baby is growing up. He is excelling in his ability to do things seperatly from his family and as much as it breaks my heart to watch him go out into the world i know he will do well. He is smart, loving, kind, and gently but also so so strong.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Cross Roads

So it seems like forever since i have really been able to sit down and write a long update. I think everyone has been pretty busy in our day to day lives, summer plans, and just enjoying life. So i thought since it is 8am and i am awake and the kids are asleep i would take some time and update on how life has been going.

I have been doing well. I think i have come to a cross roads in my life where i am not sure exactly which way i want or am suppose to go. I want to go back to school, my best friend is moving away, my kids are growing up too fast, and i feel a little left behind.

Lets start with going back to school. I think this is the harder one for me. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to go back to school but at the same time i am still really unsure what i want to go for. Now most people wouldnt scold a 24 year old for not knowing what exactly they want but since i am not your avereage 24 year old i find myself in a hard spot. Maybe you guys can help me wade through this mess. I have 3 fields of interest each with their own difficulty in achieveing or following through with.

First i have a passion and desire to do photography. I love to take pictures! I take about 100 a day and never get tired of it. It makes me feel great when i know i am capturing a memory that will last forever. A little reminder of what was happening in that interval in our lives or the lives of my subject. We do have a collage that offers photography as a major but the biggest problem is how far can i take that degree. I have a family that needs my help financially (and God forbid something happen to my husband i would be the soul provider) and photography can be such an unpredictable field. I have watched and followed as several of you have persued dreams of your own company and watched how hard and how much struggle you have had. As much as i love it i just dont know if it is reasonable or responsible of me to choose this as my sole career.

Then we have Nursing which comes with its own difficulties. The biggest hurdle being that the 2 year program offered at our local college takes a lot of time. Essentially you have to be in class from 8 am to 8 pm 5 days a week the first year and then the second year when you start rounds from 6 am to 5 pm 6 days a week. Now this wouldnt be a problem if i didnt like my kids or had no desire to be in their life but since i kinda am fond of the little buggers i have a BIG problem missing so much of their life. Then there is also the problem of daycare and being able to afford it on just my husband's salary for 3 kids. If i am in class 12 hours a day there is no way i can get a job to be able to pay for the daycare cost that would come with being in school that long. It is like a catch 22. In order to get a better job making good money with excellent benifits i would have to suffer through 2 years of not seeing my kids and struggle hand to mouth since i wouldnt be able to work and that would stretch our paychecks to nothingness. I just dont know if it is worth it to me.

Then their is my last option. I would love nothing more than to go head first into the pool and get my Psychology degree. I dont mean just a bachelors either i mean full out doctors degree. Now this is a lot of time and a lot of money but it is spread out more and would leave me time to work as well as still having time with my kids. My classes would be in the mornings while the kids were at school leaving me only needing daycare for Sione'. I would be able to work several days a week to provide the daycare cost, and maybe even a little extra. The problem is that 1) the local college doesnt offer anything but a bachelors which means i would have to consider moving out of state to finish my degree, 2) it is a lot of school and would rack up a whole lot of debt on top of the debt i already have accumulated, and 3) i just dont know if i have the support {as far as my extended family} to accomplish this long haul.

So as you can see my crossroads is driving me insane. On top of it all Chelsie is moving at the first of the month to Charleston, SC. I am sad about this. Really really sad. Chels is more like my sister than a friend. We have been together for 8 years. Having each others backs through childbirth, death, break-ups,heart aches, make-ups, fights, hard times, and good. We are each others back bones and our kids are just like each others kids. I am going to miss my nieces and my boys will miss thier best friends. Jayden and Phabian have been together since they were concieved (yes we use to let them play together in the bellies lol). Phabian tells me all the time he is going to marry Jayden when he grows up and ya know what, i believe him. He loves that little girl more than any other friend.

Marcus and I plan on moving down there ourselves but that presents its own problems. Money, time, jobs, school, it is all difficult. Neither of us have fmaily there but it is a half way point between my family in Florida and our family in WV. I was born and raised here in WV and it isnt easy for me to just pick up life as i have always know it and move to a big new place where i know no one.

As of right now we have set a 2 year plan. In 2 years we plan on moving. We decided this because we want to test the waters. Starting next June i will be able to wokr full time only having to worry about daycare for one child (which as you already read brings its own complications with school and such). If we move to SC it would require both of us having a job to support us because the cost of living is higher and the income would be needed. So we want to test it out. Have a plan mapped out so to speak of how things would go once we moved. We also want time to get our credit scores together because once we decide to move we dont want to just rent anymore. We want to buy a house. We are at the stage in our lives, in our family where we want to settle down. We are ready to own a home and stop using someone elses. But that requires us to be able to first afford it and then be able to qualify for a loan. There are a lot of decisions to be made.

So what do you think? I need some outside input as everyone in my life is too close to the decisions being made to really give me uninfluenced advice. I just feel a little stuck. So many decisions to be made and what seems like not a lot of time ot make them.