I teach my children manors. I teach them to respect the rules even if they are at someone else's house. I teach them to not back talk and to always always say please and thank you.
Do they always, 100 % of the time, follow these things that i teach them? Of course not. They are kids after all and they do not always do as they are taught.
However, I am a firm believer that you can tell a child who has been taught these things from the children who have not.
Clue #1: My children will always say please and thank you even if they have to be prompted. Children who have not been taught, even when prompted, just kinda look at you expectantly and with a blank stare.
Clue #2: My children would never just enter a home without first knocking (unless said home is owned by Granny or Poppy lol) and or asking if it is ok to come over. Above mentioned untaught children will just walk into a home, or invite themselves in.
Clue #3: When speaking about manors my children know it is rude to chew with your mouth open and smack our lips. Untaught children can be heard from miles away, while they chomp on the chips that they have so nicely given themselves from your kitchen.
Clue #4: My children know better than to ever interrupt an adult when he or she is speaking. They are to say excuse me and wait patiently. Children who have not been taught will continuously nag, talk, touch you til you answer them.
Clue #5: My children have been taught to address all elders (by which i mean adults) as Ma'am or Sir (Miss or Mister followed by a first name is acceptable if it is not a close relation but yet someone they know). It is the way i was raised and a sign of respect. Children who have not been taught manors will refer to you as "Hey you", "A, A, A....", or just poke you til you show them you are listening.
Now as i said above, do my kids always follow these rules? No, but i can honestly say about 75% of the time they do or will with a little prompting. We are still working on things. They are only 4, 5, and 10 month old. They have more things to learn and more time to learn them.
I also understand that not all people believe in teaching children to call people ma'am or sir. A lot of people now a days think it is old fashion or antiquated. But as i said before this is how i was raised and their for how i raise my children. If you don't want my child to call you ma'am or sir please tell them your first name so they can address you as Miss ____ or Mister _____.
To another point, i am not a free babysitting service. You may not allow your children to come over here to play while you go run errands or such without first asking me if it is ok. Do not think because your kids are at my house it is ok for you to take a nap. I may send your children home at any moment since you have not informed me that you will not be their.
Also i am not a food bank. I know kids will often ask without thinking but i find it a little crazy when your children ask me everyday if they can have something to eat. When i go to the store i buy food according to how many people i have to feed and usually i only include the people that actually sleep in my house. I do not mind giving your kids lunch if they are over playing and i am feeding my kids but every day 3 times a day seems a little over board to me. Maybe it is just me?
While your children are at my house i expect them to follow my rules even if those same rules do not apply to them at home. Since they are at my house, my rules do apply. If they fail to adhere to my rules after a fair warning i will send them home, no questions asked, and they will not be allowed to come back over until they can follow the rules.
Ahhhh...now i feel a little bit better. I got that off my chest, out of my system. Maybe it is just me but i just get so aggravated by things like this. Hope everyone is having a blessed day.
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I Wanna Smash Something!!!!!
So i am going to go off on a very short rant here. Pls bear with me! (And pardon my grammer, cursing, and any shorthand typing)
My land lord called us earlier and ask if we had dropped off our rent check yet. My husband informed him that we did indeed drop the check off in his mailbox on Monday. He then informed us that he did not recieve it and needed us to write him another one.
Well it costs me $34 dollars to viod the first check that HE lost. My husband was to chicken shit to call him back and tell him that we were taking the $34 dollars out of the check so I manned up and did it.
I politely told him that since he could not find the check that i would be removing the check cancelation fee of $34 from this months rent. I think since HE lost the check that it is his fault not ours and i shouldnt have to pay out of pocket for his mistake (especially since i dont have the extra money).
Anyways he asks me then when can he have the other $34 and i am like really are you frickin kiddin me?????? So i told him screw it he could have it out of our next paycheck onthe 16th!!!!
I am so livid right now. He is nothing but a slum lord. Out kitchen sink is broke, the floor in the dinning room is starting to fall threw (and has been since we moved in 2 years ago), the bathroom sink and toliet stays stopped up, and he refuses to fix anything. Always asking if we know anyone who can fix it for us or could we have my Husband's Uncle (who also rents off this man the house behuind ours). I mean he is good for nothing and rents piece of crap houses that unfortunaly we fell into because the was all we could afford at the time.
Now we have no omoney to move and i feel like if i dont get the hell out of here i just might throw something and break a damn window. I am sick of living in a sucky neighborhood, with a sucky land lord, and having to pay for other peoples fricken mistakes.
Seriously does anyone know of any laws that this crap falls under? Right now i am just in the right mind to sue the crap outta the guy if i could find a way to do it!
UGH...now i feel a bit better. Thanks for baring with me.
My land lord called us earlier and ask if we had dropped off our rent check yet. My husband informed him that we did indeed drop the check off in his mailbox on Monday. He then informed us that he did not recieve it and needed us to write him another one.
Well it costs me $34 dollars to viod the first check that HE lost. My husband was to chicken shit to call him back and tell him that we were taking the $34 dollars out of the check so I manned up and did it.
I politely told him that since he could not find the check that i would be removing the check cancelation fee of $34 from this months rent. I think since HE lost the check that it is his fault not ours and i shouldnt have to pay out of pocket for his mistake (especially since i dont have the extra money).
Anyways he asks me then when can he have the other $34 and i am like really are you frickin kiddin me?????? So i told him screw it he could have it out of our next paycheck onthe 16th!!!!
I am so livid right now. He is nothing but a slum lord. Out kitchen sink is broke, the floor in the dinning room is starting to fall threw (and has been since we moved in 2 years ago), the bathroom sink and toliet stays stopped up, and he refuses to fix anything. Always asking if we know anyone who can fix it for us or could we have my Husband's Uncle (who also rents off this man the house behuind ours). I mean he is good for nothing and rents piece of crap houses that unfortunaly we fell into because the was all we could afford at the time.
Now we have no omoney to move and i feel like if i dont get the hell out of here i just might throw something and break a damn window. I am sick of living in a sucky neighborhood, with a sucky land lord, and having to pay for other peoples fricken mistakes.
Seriously does anyone know of any laws that this crap falls under? Right now i am just in the right mind to sue the crap outta the guy if i could find a way to do it!
UGH...now i feel a bit better. Thanks for baring with me.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Jesus Take The Wheel
I cannot get this song out of my head. I have it on repeat on my computer. I just sit here crying and listening to it. The words say so much of what i want to say right now. I just want to scream out to God to take the wheel because i can't drive this car anymore.
My head is spinning, I am overwhelmed!
I never expected to get a break when i had kids. Honestly when i had Phabian i never even thought i would need it. I thought i would be SUPERMOM! I would do it all and never complain.
I would wash the dishes and clean the house. Make the beds, wash, and fold the laundry. Feed, bathe, and coddle the kids. I would have dinner hot and waiting on the table when my perfect hubby came home from a hard days work. I would sing and kiss the kids goodnight all with a smile on my face!
I would never be too tired or to frustrated. I would never scream or yell. I would never ignore or try to escape for a few moments of silence. I would not be THAT mom.
Because THAT mom is not SUPERMOM.
She was the one in the store with the screaming toddler out of control. She was the one who looked like she hadn't had a good nights sleep in years. She is the one who's house is disorderly, with dishes piled beside the sink waiting to be washed. With mounds of laundry way past needing to be done. With trash over flowing from the bin because she is too tired to take it out. She is the one who collapses into bed and prays that tomorrow will be different. She also prays for patience and sanity, compassion and forgiveness.
I was never, EVER going to be THAT mom!
Guess what???
I am THAT mom!
I am begging for a break. I am praying to God to help me. I spend many days yelling instead of loving. I go to bed at night hoping that tomorrow will be just an ounce better than today or yesterday. I pray that i will have patience and can keep it together. I cry because i am so frustrated and exhausted.
There is so much that needs to be done and often i spend the day looking at it all overwhelmed and just too exhausted to get it all done. Dinner is never on the table when my husband gets home from work. The laundry is always piled up and the dishes often go undone.
The beds are never made and often i just want to forget that i even got up out of it.
What i have realized through all of this and thanks to many other bloggers is that i am not alone and that the REAL supermom is the one who gets up every morning and does it even when she doesn't want to or know how to.
I am not perfect and for that matter i don't know if perfect exists. I try and that is all i can do most days. I have good days and bad. I complain and i bitch but in the end holding those beautiful kids in my arms and knowing that they love me despite my imperfections is enough to get me out of bed in the morning.
I still need a break. I need a day to myself. I need to breathe. But until i get that then i will do what i can and life will go on.
My head is spinning, I am overwhelmed!
I never expected to get a break when i had kids. Honestly when i had Phabian i never even thought i would need it. I thought i would be SUPERMOM! I would do it all and never complain.
I would wash the dishes and clean the house. Make the beds, wash, and fold the laundry. Feed, bathe, and coddle the kids. I would have dinner hot and waiting on the table when my perfect hubby came home from a hard days work. I would sing and kiss the kids goodnight all with a smile on my face!
I would never be too tired or to frustrated. I would never scream or yell. I would never ignore or try to escape for a few moments of silence. I would not be THAT mom.
Because THAT mom is not SUPERMOM.
She was the one in the store with the screaming toddler out of control. She was the one who looked like she hadn't had a good nights sleep in years. She is the one who's house is disorderly, with dishes piled beside the sink waiting to be washed. With mounds of laundry way past needing to be done. With trash over flowing from the bin because she is too tired to take it out. She is the one who collapses into bed and prays that tomorrow will be different. She also prays for patience and sanity, compassion and forgiveness.
I was never, EVER going to be THAT mom!
Guess what???
I am THAT mom!
I am begging for a break. I am praying to God to help me. I spend many days yelling instead of loving. I go to bed at night hoping that tomorrow will be just an ounce better than today or yesterday. I pray that i will have patience and can keep it together. I cry because i am so frustrated and exhausted.
There is so much that needs to be done and often i spend the day looking at it all overwhelmed and just too exhausted to get it all done. Dinner is never on the table when my husband gets home from work. The laundry is always piled up and the dishes often go undone.
The beds are never made and often i just want to forget that i even got up out of it.
What i have realized through all of this and thanks to many other bloggers is that i am not alone and that the REAL supermom is the one who gets up every morning and does it even when she doesn't want to or know how to.
I am not perfect and for that matter i don't know if perfect exists. I try and that is all i can do most days. I have good days and bad. I complain and i bitch but in the end holding those beautiful kids in my arms and knowing that they love me despite my imperfections is enough to get me out of bed in the morning.
I still need a break. I need a day to myself. I need to breathe. But until i get that then i will do what i can and life will go on.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Yesterday
So yesterday was not a good day. I spent a good part of my day not being the mommy that i want to be. The day started off with me waking up to a 3 year old screaming in my face telling me to get up and turn the cartoons on. So i got up turned the channel on the TV and fixed me a cup of coffee. Usually in the mornings that is the only time i get to do me for a little bit. I turn on Disney channel, fix my coffee, and then i usually can get about 2-3 hours of computer quiet time in before the kids start going insane. While i am fixing my coffee i usually fix them some fruit and then about an hour later a bowl of cereal. This is usually the best part of my day (aside from nap time(when they take a nap) and bed time). So back to yesterday. It started as a normal day. By about 11 they started losing it and screaming and fighting so i decided it was time for quiet time.
Quiet time...yes if only it was what it says. Usually i lay them down and let them watch a movie or cartoons. About an hour after that i end up turning off the TV because instead of laying down being quiet watching the shows they run around (in there room) and talk loudly. After i turn off the TV i have to sing a song or be faced with more screaming a yelling. Eventually they will settle in a take what is never longer than an hour long nap. This is the time where i fix myself some lunch or i will not eat until dinner as my job is to feed them not myself (this isn't my thinking it is theirs).
After hey awake is when my days usually go insane. Yesterday it just so happened to be nothing but yelling and screaming and me losing my temper a lot. I know that everyone has those days but i hate them. That is not the mom i want to be nor do i like having to yell at my kids. It was just one thing after the other. Phabian all of a sudden has developed a screaming problem. Any time he does not get his way he screams at you. I mean really screams like an adult screaming at a child who just almost ran in front of a moving car. This has taken a toll on my nerves.
As most of you know or have read i have been sick for the past few days. I have not reached out for help from anyone as i really don't have anyone to ask for help. My dear mother in law works full time and just so happened didn't have a day off on the days that i happened to be sick. Other wise i she would have kept them for me. So i was at home trying to take care of my kids while i was falling apart and couldn't even hold my eyes open. Yes i know this is what you sign up for when you have kids. When you are mommy there is no break. It isn't like a job where you can just call off if you don't feel well, but it would be nice to have a little sympathy.
So this brings me to the close of my day yesterday. My DH (dear husband) got home from work about 5 yesterday and we had my nieces B-day party to go to so we started to get the kids ready. Well it was a fight. Phabian wanted to wear his brother's clothes which were too small and he kept fighting with me. Finally we got them both dressed and Phabian sat on the couch next to me to put his shoes on. He decided it was OK to kick his foot repeatedly into my side trying to get his shoe to go on. Needless to say after the day i had i snapped, screamed, and then Marcus was looking at me like i was nuts. I ask him why and he said because i was overreacting. Once again i lost it this time yelling at him. He still preceded to tell me that i was overreacting so i walked onto the porch full prepared to call Chelsie and leave. I wouldn't take it anymore.
So i couldn't get a hold of Chelsie so we left for the party. When we were preparing to leave my Brother's house my BIL(Brother in law) called and ask my DH if we could watch his kids tonight (Keely 10 and Kiana 5) so that him and his g/f could go to this party. With out asking me if it was ok DH said sure we will come pick them up in like 20 mins. Once again i was fully prepared to call Chelsie and spend the night at her house. Why would you not even ask me if it was ok after i have already had a break down yelling at you earlier. So my BIL's g/f actually ended up calling us back and saying never mind (which i was like thank God). Its not that i don't like their kids. I had just had enough of kids today and didn't want to deal with any kids at all not even mine.
So we get home and put the kids to bed and i call Chelsie and talk to her for a bit. Then we go to bed. Well as we were laying there talking about today i just broke down. I cried and told my husband how i felt and how badly i just needed a day to enjoy my kids instead of having to always be the bad guy. I compared it to him this way," If someone told you to eat your fave food everyday for 3 years would you not grow tired of it?" That's how i feel about my kids. I love them with all of my heart, but 3 years non stop has worn me down and i need to not be the bad guy one or two days a week. I need to be able to just enjoy my kids with out having to be the disciplinarian. I just want to be able to hug them and love them without being the one to have to be mean to them.
So apparently it sparked something in his head and today has been a great day so far. He let me sleep in till 10 and woke me up with a cup of coffee in hand. He had cleaned the Kitchen, Dinning Room, and Living Room with out help from me or without me even having to ask him to do it. He has done all the fussing at the kids this morning and i haven't once had to even say one bad thing to them. It is great. He has kissed and loved on me all morning and i am just in awe. This is the man i fell in love with. Caring, sensitive, and wonderful. I knew he was still in there somewhere. Now if i could only get this to be a once a week thing i might not have as many rants on here.
Quiet time...yes if only it was what it says. Usually i lay them down and let them watch a movie or cartoons. About an hour after that i end up turning off the TV because instead of laying down being quiet watching the shows they run around (in there room) and talk loudly. After i turn off the TV i have to sing a song or be faced with more screaming a yelling. Eventually they will settle in a take what is never longer than an hour long nap. This is the time where i fix myself some lunch or i will not eat until dinner as my job is to feed them not myself (this isn't my thinking it is theirs).
After hey awake is when my days usually go insane. Yesterday it just so happened to be nothing but yelling and screaming and me losing my temper a lot. I know that everyone has those days but i hate them. That is not the mom i want to be nor do i like having to yell at my kids. It was just one thing after the other. Phabian all of a sudden has developed a screaming problem. Any time he does not get his way he screams at you. I mean really screams like an adult screaming at a child who just almost ran in front of a moving car. This has taken a toll on my nerves.
As most of you know or have read i have been sick for the past few days. I have not reached out for help from anyone as i really don't have anyone to ask for help. My dear mother in law works full time and just so happened didn't have a day off on the days that i happened to be sick. Other wise i she would have kept them for me. So i was at home trying to take care of my kids while i was falling apart and couldn't even hold my eyes open. Yes i know this is what you sign up for when you have kids. When you are mommy there is no break. It isn't like a job where you can just call off if you don't feel well, but it would be nice to have a little sympathy.
So this brings me to the close of my day yesterday. My DH (dear husband) got home from work about 5 yesterday and we had my nieces B-day party to go to so we started to get the kids ready. Well it was a fight. Phabian wanted to wear his brother's clothes which were too small and he kept fighting with me. Finally we got them both dressed and Phabian sat on the couch next to me to put his shoes on. He decided it was OK to kick his foot repeatedly into my side trying to get his shoe to go on. Needless to say after the day i had i snapped, screamed, and then Marcus was looking at me like i was nuts. I ask him why and he said because i was overreacting. Once again i lost it this time yelling at him. He still preceded to tell me that i was overreacting so i walked onto the porch full prepared to call Chelsie and leave. I wouldn't take it anymore.
So i couldn't get a hold of Chelsie so we left for the party. When we were preparing to leave my Brother's house my BIL(Brother in law) called and ask my DH if we could watch his kids tonight (Keely 10 and Kiana 5) so that him and his g/f could go to this party. With out asking me if it was ok DH said sure we will come pick them up in like 20 mins. Once again i was fully prepared to call Chelsie and spend the night at her house. Why would you not even ask me if it was ok after i have already had a break down yelling at you earlier. So my BIL's g/f actually ended up calling us back and saying never mind (which i was like thank God). Its not that i don't like their kids. I had just had enough of kids today and didn't want to deal with any kids at all not even mine.
So we get home and put the kids to bed and i call Chelsie and talk to her for a bit. Then we go to bed. Well as we were laying there talking about today i just broke down. I cried and told my husband how i felt and how badly i just needed a day to enjoy my kids instead of having to always be the bad guy. I compared it to him this way," If someone told you to eat your fave food everyday for 3 years would you not grow tired of it?" That's how i feel about my kids. I love them with all of my heart, but 3 years non stop has worn me down and i need to not be the bad guy one or two days a week. I need to be able to just enjoy my kids with out having to be the disciplinarian. I just want to be able to hug them and love them without being the one to have to be mean to them.
So apparently it sparked something in his head and today has been a great day so far. He let me sleep in till 10 and woke me up with a cup of coffee in hand. He had cleaned the Kitchen, Dinning Room, and Living Room with out help from me or without me even having to ask him to do it. He has done all the fussing at the kids this morning and i haven't once had to even say one bad thing to them. It is great. He has kissed and loved on me all morning and i am just in awe. This is the man i fell in love with. Caring, sensitive, and wonderful. I knew he was still in there somewhere. Now if i could only get this to be a once a week thing i might not have as many rants on here.
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