'Tis The Most.....

.......Stressful time of the year.

A few days ago on my Facebook page i was telling (well posting for whoever was really reading) that cooking for the holidays is not stressful for me. I don't mind the hours spent in the kitchen or the dishes that don't come out perfect even after i have slaved over them all day. A matter of fact i love cooking for the holidays more then any other meal. It makes me feel full of joy and happiness at feeding my family. Knowing they are full, warm, and happy. It is GREAT (and probably a little weird to the rest of you)!

This Thanksgiving i cooked a massive meal to feed not just my family but about 15 people. I was excited! I normally only cook for the 4 (now 5) of us. It was great. I made turkey, ham, kale, mashed potatoes, gravy, baked mac n cheese, sweet potato casserole, rolls, and 2 pumpkin pies. Why 2 pies you ask? Well because i dropped the first one in the floor of course lol. Way to start out a morning i tell ya (consider this a Thanksgiving update lol).

Anyways back to the point of this post.

As i said, I don't find the cooking stressful in the least. I know things are bound to go wrong. My timing will be off, something might burn, something might get dropped (smile), and it is a guarantee that something will get forgotten until after we are finished eating (like the rolls). But i have come to accept this fact and just flow with it.

What i can not flow with is the never ending stream of "I want this", "Will Santa bring me this", " OH MY GOSH I have to have that". My kids change their minds like they change underwear. What they want today will be long forgotten tomorrow when they see a new commercial, for a new toy, that is even bigger and better. What was wanted yesterday is completely in the dust of today.

This leaves me in a tough spot when we did all of our Christmas shopping a month ago (we actually went earlier this year lol) and have all the presents we intended to buy in layaway as we speak. I have already told family and friends what to get the kids (we bought them both a tag reading system so books to go with that, trains to go with Phabian's Thomas the Train set, and Cars to go with MJ's race track, and clothes of course because Santa, Mommy and Daddy only buy toys). We are out of money and less then 25 days to Christmas.

We still have to buy for the 5 names we drew at my MIL's house plus my niece and nephew. This will probably take up the last little bit of free money we have. So all these late add ons the kids have requested from Santa are completely out of the question. I have tried to explain to the kids that Santa is also feeling the bad economy but somehow my 4 and 5 year olds just don't get what the economy has to do with Christmas.

It leaves me feeling drained sad exhausted stressed and a little like a failure.

Don't get me wrong we bought a lot for the kids. They will by no means go without a ton of presents under the tree. Plus they get presents from my brother, my dad, my MIL, aunts and uncles, and my aunts and grandma are coming in from Florida this year. They also go celebrate with a very close friend of ours who's parents consider them their grandkids and there for the rest of her family has adopted them as well. They will ultimately get more then they really need and everything there eyes can fathom.

So why in the world do i let this stress me so badly?

Why do i give in to the temptation to feel like a failure just because i cant buy them every single thing they want?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??????

Is it just me? Please tell me someone else out there feels like this as well? I need to let myself off easier but for some reason i just cant seem to do it. I wish i had some great psychological insight that i could share but i don't. LA SIGH!

So for now i am going to try to go relax and let it go. The kids will get what they get and what they need. They will not go without and ultimately i know when they wake up Christmas morning they will have those same looks of awe and excitement as they do every year.

I need to enjoy these fleeting years. Soon they will stop believing and start asking for extremely over priced electronics.

Happy Valentine's Day

So today is the day of lovers. I don't know about you all but i have never been big on today. I mean as a teen it was used as an excuse to have alone time with the "love of my life", but Valentine's Day has never been particularly special to me. I mean what does it actually mean anyways?!?

Valentine's Day was originally a Pagan Festival. Then, as most Pagan festivals were in those days, the Christians took it over and named it after martyrs Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni. I guess there was also a 3rd guy but no one really know much about him except that he was apparently in Africa so who cares right. Now both these guys were way back in the years AD 200 and something right! Well romance and candy and flowers weren't even linked to this holiday till the 14th century. That was when Saint Valentine apparently came into the picture and got all lovey dovey.

Now here is my problem with Valentine's Day! I think we as a people have better things to spend our money on than roses, candy, and cards. I know i sure have bills to pay and things to get fixed or taken care of, no? To me, i guess, we should celebrate love everyday. It doesn't need a special day where we stop everything we are doing to run around like chickens with out heads cut off, and buy expensive presents. That's what we have birthdays for! We get presents on our birthdays! We get to feel special on our birthdays!

Now i am not saying i don't participate in Valentine's Day. More than likely tonight my husband will walk through the door with some roses and a card or maybe even a box of yummy chocolates. I will be thankful and repay him for his effort later *wink wink*. What i am saying is that it isn't necessary. If my husband bought me nothing at all it would be ok. There are so many other days where he shows me how much he loves me and it doesn't need to be emphasized on this specific day.

There are a lot of holidays i feel this way about. Mother's Day and Father's Day are among them! Shouldn't we be honoring mothers and fathers who are doing a wonderful job everyday? Why do we need to insinuate that this is the day out of the year where they should get a thank you and a card. We should praise these important people everyday because they are raising our future.

Thanksgiving is another one! Now i do understand that Thanksgiving is more of a holiday rather than a playful day of celebration but shouldn't we be thankful everyday? Why is there one specific day where we are all about thanking God for all our blessings. Shouldn't you thank him everyday for what he has blessed us with? I know i do!

Now i am not saying, just to repeat myself here, that i don't participate in these holidays because i do! I enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner just as much as anyone! I also love to be treated special on Mother's Day! I just somehow wish that things weren't so cut and divided. We celebrate this today and not tomorrow! Why can't, no scratch that, why shouldn't everyday be Mother's and Father's Day? Why cant we show each other how much we care everyday! Why do we need to spend massive amounts of money to feel or be made to feel like we matter?

Maybe it isn't the holidays i have a problem with as much as i do the money being spent to make someone feel special. i don't like the idea of buying someones love for the day. I don't need a new purse or a rose to know that my husband loves me. yes it is a great gesture but i don't need it. He makes me feel special almost everyday.

Anyways i am done ranting and if you hung in here til now then thanks if not oh well. Happy Valentine's Day to you all and i hope you get what you want today!

Do You Believe In Magic?

I am a Christmas person. My Mom was a Christmas person and i think it is just embedded in my soul. I love everything about this holiday season (minus the shopping see Here for more details). When this time of year roles around i just get a flame that burns inside me. It makes me feel warm and i want to do things that i don't do everyday. I get on a baking high and nothing tastes better than warm cookies fresh from the oven and a cup of hot cocoa while watching some frilly Christmas movie. I love the lights that flicker and the carols i hear. I love what Christmas means! Family, fun, food, the birth of Jesus, giving, receiving, friendship!!! It is all so magical! It is a magic that only occurs once a year.


One month out of a whole year we get to feel like kids again. We get to talk about a magical old man who travels the globe in one night spreading joy and gifts to all. The story of Santa has always made me very happy. It is a story of a man who is so kind and generous that he spends all his time making and delivering gifts to those who deserve them. We all act as Santa this time of year. We give gifts to those we love and to young children who don't have a lot. One of my fondest memories of Christmas is the time my mom and i spent picking an Angel from the Angel Tree.

We always made a day of it. We would get up early and go to the local mall which is where the tree always was. We would get breakfast and then pick a name off the tree. We never shopped at the mall but we always just took some time to look around and see what they had. We would soon leave the mall and travel to somewhere for a small lunch. It usually was McDonald's because as a kid that was my favorite (Isn't it all kids favorite lol). Then we would go to Wal-Mart or somewhere of the sort. We would shop for my dad, brother, and other extended family while we were there. Then we would go to the toys and pick out a toy for the Angel we picked, then we would also go buy her some shoes and a coat. I remember these days to a tee and i could never replace those with anything.

I know now how it made my mom feel to watch us open our presents on Christmas and to know that she was helping another mother who couldn't afford to make her child smile. I know how special it is now and why it was so important to her that we pick an Angel. It is a tradition i would like to pass on to my kids. I know there is nothing more magical than the look on your child's face when they wake on Christmas morning and see the glistening wrapped boxes under the tree. The cookies missing from the plate and a half empty glass on the table gives the impression that Santa was there. The glimmer that radiates from their faces is enough to light a city all alone. For one day out of one year i feel like a kid again.

I still wake up on Christmas morning with a tingle in my tummy. I hop out of bed and run to the tree with my kids. I feel their joy as they rip off the paper and squeal with delight at the sight of a toy they had requested from Santa. I relive all my Christmases through my children and in a flash i see why my Mom loved Christmas so much. It is the only holiday that means so much. We teach our children about God and Jesus and we also allow them to believe in that Magic of Santa. For me i feel like this is it for them. When they get old enough they will know the truth about Santa and Christmas will be just another holiday that they expect a present for. Right now i want them to feel the Magic and Excitement. I want to see their fact light with happiness over a jolly old man in a bright red suit. Imagination only last so long and i don't want to stifle that to soon.

Back To Life

So today as my turkey hangover wears down i have returned to normal everyday life. I cleaned my bedroom which whether you believe it or not looked worse than my kids. It is the place where everything that doesn't have a place goes to live in a pile on the floor or in a corner. I organized, threw away, and sorted. After i ran the vacuum i started washing and washing and washing some more. I have done about 3 loads so far and only have oh say about a million left to go. This is why me and holidays don't get along. They force me to stuff my belly and slack on chores and then i am angry at them for having to do twice as much when i no longer have an excuse not to lol.

Tomorrow i am going to finish laundry and clean the living room and dinning room. So much to do and so little daylight. I hate it that it gets dark at 5 now. It makes me so tired. I just want to sleep. Its dark it should be bed time (and my kids agree which is odd). Now i have to force my kids to stay awake when it is dark out and the force them to go to bed because i have made them stay up way past their biological ticking tells them to.

I haven't done a lot of Christmas shopping yet. My aunt bought the kids an easel and a bunch of art supplies (from Santa) and then she is also sending more stuff from them up with a cousin. We so far have got the kids a bunch of books, one lap top (kiddo kind) for each of them, and a race track that comes with 2 hummers and 2 controllers so they can race each other around the track. We want to get them a new toy box and some other small things. My brother is giving us two brand new cars (the big ones that the kids drive) that his kids only ended up using like one time. Those will be our big present to the kids this year. I feel bad because we didn't buy them but they are like brand new and i don't think they actually will care. We do however have to buy new chargers and batteries for them. They will get a ton of stuff from everyone else though so i think they will have a good Christmas.

I just am excited to get the tree up. Christmas is my favorite holiday and i love the lights and sparkling balls on trees. I know this isn't what Christmas is about but it sure adds a nice touch right lol. This year we are reading both the Christmas Story on Christmas Eve and then on Christmas Day we will read about the birth of baby Jesus. My kids love a good book and if it is something that can teach them than i am all for it.

So what is your favorite part of Christmas? I have too many but i think just being with family and the feeling that it gives me inside.

Turkey Day!!!

Well we have already ate at my house. We had a very juice turkey. Last night i prepped it so all i had to do was shove it in the oven this morning. I injected it with garlic butter and stuffed it with tangerines, onions, and celery. It was so moist and yummy. My hubby gave me the best compliment every by saying it was better than his mom's turkey...WHAT? Yay go me!!!! We also had stuffing, kale, mashed potatoes, and gravy made with drippings. I am mad at myself because i forgot roles but i did remember the cranberry sauce. Oh well we have another dinner to go to at 4 with his extended family. I am sure someone there remembered the rolls.

At the dinner table (or lunch table i guess you could say since we ate at noon lol) i went around the table and we all said what we were thankful for. Phabian said he was thankful for his friends Sasha and Raven and the turkey. MJ said he was thankful for mommy and told me he loved me (i know awwwwwww right). Hubby said he was thankful that his wife was a great cook lol (i know, we have so much to be thankful for and that's all he could say). I am thankful for my family and the time we have to spend together.

This morning as i was traveling between the kitchen and the living room i took time to watch bits and pieces of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as it is a tradition in my life. Just watching the kids faces light up when Santa went by is enough to make your heart melt. Oh to be a child again and be able to rejoice in my imagination and make believe characters that bestow gifts upon us for no reason lol.

So i hope everyone has and is having a wonderful holiday with their families. If ya feel up to it share in a comment what you are thankful for today. I am stuffed so i am off to take a quick nap (hubby and the kids are all ready knocked out lol) before I have to go eat again lol.

I Have Been Blessed

Blessed by: Martina McBride

I get kissed by the sun each morning

Put my feet on a hardwood floor

I get to hear my children laughing

Down the hall through the bedroom door

Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing

Just soaking up the day

I think to myself, I think to myself

This world is a beautiful place

******

I have been blessed

And I feel like I've found my way

I thank God for all I've been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones that love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed
******

Across a crowded room

I know you know what I'm thinking

By the way I look at you

And when we're lying in the quiet

And no words have to be said

I think to myself, I think to myself

This love is a beautiful gift

******

I have been blessed

And I feel like I've found my way

I thank God for all I've been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones that love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

******

When I'm singing my kids to sleep

When I feel you holding me

I know

******

I have been blessed

And I feel like I've found my way

I thank God for all I've been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones that love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

I love this song. It has been stuck in my head for days now. I guess with Thanksgiving coming up fast and Christmas approaching even faster i have been counting my blessings. I have so so much to be thankful for.

I have a wonderful husband who loves me for me. Even when that means i am a not so great wife he still loves me. He is always there to pick me up when i am not feeling my best and he makes my heart smile when he gives me that look. Everyday i fall more and more in love with this man. He is a hard worker and would do what ever it took to make sure his family has what it needs. He always puts himself last and never ask questions. I don't know what i would do or be without him. He truly is my other half.

Then i have my first born son. I knew from the moment i saw him that my world would never be the same again. This child has more personality than i have ever seen in such a small body. He always is laughing and even when he is sick has a joke or a smile to give. We have our bad days and our good but that is because we are too much a like. He is a mini me if i could have ever imagined one. He is so smart and sweet. He loves to learn and loves to be active.

Then there is my baby. He is always grins and giggles but with a much more serious undertone. He is my strong and silent lil man. Just like his daddy, looks and all. My favorite thing about this precious lil boy is his love of cuddling. When i hurt my back last fall he loved crawling in the bed with me and cuddling for hours. He is a avid cars lover and loves nothing more than to roll his cars over any surface he can reach.

I cannot wait to see how these two little boys grow and develop. They are so intelligent and figure things out so quickly. They both know how to work mommy and daddy (and an entire room for that matter) to a T. These boys (all three of them) have made my life an amazing blessing. They love me and protect me and make me feel like a million dollars everyday. They are my world and i couldn't have ask for more. I have been given the blessing of a life time. I have a truly magical family of my own and through bad and good we love one another. What more could you want.

West Virginia Fall

So fall is upon us here in the good ole WV. This is one of my favorite times of year. Now don't mistake the for my favorite season or holiday. I specifically like the month (usually October) when the leaves turn beautiful shades of gold, red, maroon, orange, and yellow. I love the smell in the air as the brisk breeze flows over my face. I love these few days. I took a few pictures yesterday as we drove home from McDonald's. They are all taken from the car and some as we were moving lol. I tried to clean most of them up a bit but some just didn't participate. So without further hesitation here are my shots from yesterday of the beautiful fall terrain in Charleston, WV!

I think i like fall so much because it means all the family holidays are coming up. Christmas is my favorite because it was my mom's favorite. Christmas was always the time of year that we spent the most time together. We decorated and cooked and spent a lot time of just talking. It brings back a lot of wonderful memories. So here is to the leaves falling and the cold weather heading in. I am so looking forward to the holidays even if we are broke!