Saturday, November 28, 2009
What you did for us amazes and inspires me. You gave me the birth I always dreamed of but was either too scared to reach for or afraid I would never get.
You gave me confidence in my abilities as a woman. You gave me courage to reach for what I wanted. You gave me strength to fight past the pain and use it to do what my body knew how to but my mind had always been to weak to do.
You all will always be in my heart and I will always remember to tell Sione' about the three women who helped bring him into this world.
I can not thank you enough.You have continued to help me even after we left the Birth Center. You all truly have given me a whole new confidence in myself both as a woman and as a mother. My sister said it best; You all are like a family, and I am proud to be a part of it.
Thank you so much,
Courtney and Family
This week has held some ups and downs for us as a family.
Phabian and MJ both got a bad report from the teacher this week. MJ got very upset when he was ask to take turns on the bike at school. He took his frustration with the teacher out on a friend by kicking her in her leg. Phabian on the other hand punch another boy in the stomach over a car. The teacher was not upset with them and suggested that it is just their way of working through having this new change in their life.
Sione' has had horrible gas this week. His little belly gets so swollen and rock hard and he just screams and screams. I finally broke down and bought some Mylicon Drops and they work wonders. The only other thing that seems to help is letting him lay on his tummy for short periods of time (and always while we are awake and with him). I am working now on my diet to see if it is something i am eating that is causing the problem.
We had a bad battle with thrush this past week. It started with what i thought was just a sore nipple and ended a day later with a horrible burning feeling that i immediately knew was thrush (since i had it with Phabian). The midwife suggested i try Gentian Violet before trying antibiotics and i am so thankful for that. After 24 hours of the GV the pain was gone and today (day 3) i am back to normal feedings and symptom free. I am however going to go tomorrow and buy me some yogurt with active cultures just to be on the safe side of things.
The good news is even through a battle with thrush Sione' seems to pretty much have his latch down. Now if we could just work on moving his hands away from his mouth when he gets too excited we would be doing perfect.
Also we got his test results back on Wednesday. Sorry for waiting so long to tell everyone but thanks to the grace of God and a whole lot of prayers from everyone Sione' is just fine. His original test was a false positive and the second came back negative for Biotinidase Deficiency. We are thanking God that he has blessed us so much. I owe you all a big thank you for all the prayers you sent up for our little bug!
Sione' also celebrated his first holiday! I am not sure how much he enjoyed it but i am sure turkey flavored breast milk is just divine! He got to mingle with his extended family (well he slept, they ogled him). We truly had so much to be thankful for yesterday!
He is growing so fast. I can just see it in his little face. He is so, so perfect! I love him more and more everyday. I just look into his eyes and know that our family couldn't be anymore perfect. He completes us and nothing could be more wonderful than that!
Monday, November 23, 2009
The results came back abnormal for Biotinidase Deficiency. Once again i had no clue what this was nor did his nurse since this is only the second case she has seen in the 3 years at the office (there are 1 in 60,000 babies diagnosed with BD). She wrote it down for me and i came home and looked it up.
What i found out is that if he does have this deficiency it can come with some serious side effects such as seizures, weak muscle tone, breathing problems, and delayed development. If it is left untreated the consequences can be great. Thankfully there is a treatment and when caught early most side effects can be helped or even stopped.
We wont know the results until Wednesday or possibly even Monday and i am a wreck. I know things could be so much worse. This is not a death sentence but it is heartbreaking none the less.
I dont think any mom wants her baby to be sick even with a cold much less an autosomal recessive metabolic disorder. It hurts my heart to think that this is something that i passed on to my baby (since parents have to be carriers). I just want my baby boy to be healthy and happy.
So if you could please keep my baby boy and our family in your prayers. I need strength right now to keep from crying non stop. I dont want to over react but between hormones and stress and this news i am finding it hard to keep it all together.
God has blessed us so much and i know he will not give us more than he knows we can handle.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
He went Monday for his circumcision and weight check. At the time he had lost about 6 ounces and was weighting in at 7lbs 7 ozs. They reassured me that it is completely normal for a breast fed baby to lose weight after birth and he would gain it back soon.
Before his circumcision they did his PKU which i thought was bad enough but i was so sadly mistaken.
His circumcision just broke my heart. When Phabian and MJ had theirs done we were in the hospital so they came and got them and took them to a room far away to perform the task. I never heard a cry and by the time they brought them back to me they were calm and usually asleep.
With Sione' they performed the procedure in his Pedi's office and i was standing in the hallway. They gave me the option of going in the waiting room but i didn't want to be that far away so i decided to stay in the hall. Bad mistake!!!
I heard the initial cry of being strapped down and that was bad enough. Then the next thing i heard was the blood curdling scream of my baby boy. He screamed for so long and it was like torture for me not to barge in and take him away. I stood in the hall and balled like a baby as all i could do was listen to him scream.
They brought me in and i fed and rocked him and he calmed right down. I swear i am glad i will never have to do that again. My poor little heart can not and could not take it.
Yesterday Sione' was back to 7lbs 12.5ozs. He looks and sounds wonderful. He is mister peely pants. He is just peeling from head to toe and i can not pick it which drives me insane lol. We talked a lot about what is normal for his age and what i should look out for.
I have to take him back in on Monday because part of his PKU came back abnormal. They are going to redue it and then go from there. I am not well informed on exactly what PKU is but from what i understand it is very treatable and when treated early no problems usually follow. Prayers are always greatly appreciated. Also if anyone has ever had a abnormal PKU with their child and could fill me in a little more i would be happy to receive an email or comment from you.
As for home life in the first week things are going great!
Marcus is happy to have another son as am I! We could not be more blessed to have 3 handsome, healthy boys.
Marcus has been the greatest help ever. He is supporting me completely in my healing and breastfeeding. He has stayed up several nights with Sione' and aloud me to sleep, only waking me to feed and then letting me go back to sleep while he changes his diaper and gets him back to sleep. I can not tell you how much I love this man and how great and involved of a father and husband he truly is. I know so many women who would have a heart attack if their husband offered to help and here i am with a great man who does it with out me even having to ask.
Speaking of breastfeeding........................
Things are going well in that department. Sione' is officially a boobie fiend! He has had a few bottle of breast milk because of some early latch problems but for the most part all is well. His latch has gotten almost perfect and although we have good and bad days i can honestly say most days are good.
I can not explain how much it means to me that i am able to do this for my baby. I tried so hard with Phabian and gave up too quick with MJ. Both times i felt like such a failure. I guess the third time really is the charm in this case. He even flat out refused a bottle the other day and instead wanted me. It was one of those moments where i just wanted to cry with joy.
So as you can tell i am so happy and proud of our baby boy! We have come far from day one and i can not believe a week has passed already. It breaks my heart that time is going so fast already. He is a week old and i am not sure where that week went. I wish i knew that time would slow down but unfortunately i think it only goes faster from here. So i am trying to enjoy every late night feeding, and every squeak and cry. I want to remember every moment of this little life cause i know i will blink and he will be toddling around.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Thursday evening my sister called and ask if i wanted to go to the mall with her so she could get a new outfit to wear to a birthday dinner for her boyfriend. I said sure and so we went on a 3 hour shopping spree walking around (well i waddled she walked lol).
She dropped me off at the football field where Marcus and the kids were around 5:45 and i went to sit on the benches and call my Aunt to tell her how my NST had went earlier that day. I talked to her for awhile and while i was talking i thought i felt like i was leaking fluid.
I got off the phone around 6:30 and started to walk thinking maybe if i was leaking that would give me a sign and stop it or something. Instead what i got was a semi small gush of fluid when i stood up. So i called my husband off the field and told him i was calling the midwife and we were probably going to head to the Birthing Center.
After talking to the Kim the midwife we decided to meet at the birth center around 7:15. When i got there they did a speculum exam to see if i was indeed leaking and checked me to see how far dilated i was.
The first PH test came back inconclusive but i was dialted about 4 to 5 cm so they had me go walk for about twenty minutes and then redid the test. This time they definitely saw the ferning of the amniotic fluid meaning my water was definitely leaking and i was most certainly dilated 5 cm.
At this point the gave me my first dose of antibiotics and told me to order some food or wait til my first does was over and go out to eat because at 11 they were going to break my water. So we did as told. We ordered some pizza and when i finished my first does of meds we ran to his sister's house (which was right around the cornor) to get some movies to watch.
When we got back another lady had also shown up with her water broken. So we were sharing the birthing center (which thank God has multiple birthing rooms) with a very sweet couple who i swear had every member of their immediate family there.
So at 11pm they broke my water and told me to just relax and walk when i could. I did walk for about an hour and half around the parking lot and center then came in so they could give me my second dose of antibiotics.
Around 1 am we laid down to try and get some sleep. I doesed on and off between contractions for about an hour. At 2am the contractions had picked up so i decided to go ahead and walk around while Marcus got some rest.
At 3:30 am i woke the midwives and ask if i could take a hot shower because my contractions were getting harder to breathe through and the hot water might help me relax. They told me to go ahead and got the shower ready while i let Marcus know what I was doing.
At 3:45 am i emerged from the having back to back intense contractions. All i could do was sway and moan (Marcus said i sounded kinda like a cave man lol) through them. I was only getting about a minute between then and they were intense (wish i could use another word but painful just doesnt seem right even though it did hurt).
The midwife started my last round of antibiotics at 4:15 am and checked me. I was dilated 8 almost 9 cm and it was the worst part having to lay down to be checked. It helped to bend my knees and roll side to side. I tried to get up and sway some more but from about that time on the contractions were pretty much bringing me to my knees.
At about 4:30 i began to have th eurge to push so i laid down and they checked again. I had a little lip of cervix left so they told me to roll over on my hands and knees and see it i could hold out for a few more minutes.
At 4:35 am i began to really feel the urge to push so they told me to let them check for the lip and see if i could push it out of the way. So i laid on my back grabbed my knees and pushed as she pushed the last bit of cervix out of the way.
At 4:40 am i began to push. I truly understand now why they call it the ring of fire. The midwifes just kept telling me to use the pain as power and movtivation. Marcus was holding me and stroking my hair. He kept telling me how great i was doing. We had planned to video tape it all but i am so glad he chose to stay with me instead. I could not have done it without him. After only 10 mintues and 4 pushes Sione' was born at 4:50 am.
He was laid on my tummy and he opened his eyes and looked at me. I touched him and just couldnot believe he was here. He never did really cry but he was breathing fine on his own. He imediately started rooting around while they allowed the cord to pulse until it was done.
I wish i could say the worst was over but unfortunatly i started to hemerage a bit. After they cut the cord and the placenta was being deliverd the nurse took Sione' over to weigh him and clean him up a bit while they worked to stop my bleeding.
I dont remember much from this time on. I remember hearing them say Sione' weight 7lbs 13ozs and i remember them trying to get me up to go pee (they said sometimes relieveing the bladder can help with the bleeding) and me telling them i was too tired. Then apparently i passed out. I was given several shots of something to help me clot and after about an hour they got the bleeding under control.
So i scared the crap out of everyone (especially my husband) but in the end i and Sione' are 100% healthy!
I could not be more thrilled with my birth expierence and i could not have done it without the 2 wonderful midwives Kim and Becca and the wonderful nurse Susan! They were so supportive and kept me calm and informed the whole time. They did not take any unnecessary steps and they did everything they could to give me the birth i had always wanted.
If you ask if i would do it all again (barring the fact that Sione' will be the last lol) i would say yes! I would do it a million times again if the results would be the same. I have a healthy, handsome baby boy and i am healthy and happy as well.
What more could a girl ask for!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Measurements: 41 cm/wks same as last week
Position: Still head down...wish he would push his little way out lol
I am holding steady at +18lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. My blood pressure is still great and i am not showing any signs of too much swelling. Sione's heart rate was a little low today in the 120's but i also had not eaten before my appointment and he was asleep (or in one of his less active times during the day). She didn't seem worried about it so i am not either. She confirmed he is very stretched out but not an extremely big baby (just long). She did not check me today but we did talk a lot about what is coming.
I have a NST on Thursday to check him and his fluid levels.She wants me to (although she said this more to Marcus) have as much sex as possible to help soften my cervix lol. Like he has a problem with that! If i have not went into labor by next Wednesday she wants me to try a little caster oil the day before my appointment and then if that doesn't help on Wednesday we will discuss more stripping my membranes or possibly even breaking my water (not really what we want to do because of the group b strep). Either way we are pretty much planning that he will be here next week.
We joked for awhile about not wanting me to go to 42 weeks as it is the day before Thanksgiving and none of us wanna be delivering a baby on Thanksgiving lol. So with fingers crossed i will be meeting my little man sometime in the next week!!! I am so excited!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Yes Christmas! It is officially time for 5 Minutes for Mom's Christmas Giveaway!
From now til November 26th 5 Minutes for Mom will be giving you the opportunity to win some fantastic prizes. Whether you want to try to win something for yourself or check some people off your Christmas list they will have it all!
Check out the rules and how to get extra entries on the intro page. There are lots of ways to win and you don't wanna miss out of any of them!
Also since last year was so successful they are doing Under the Tree again this year!
This is our chance to give to those who need it the most! If you know a family who is in need or you feel deserves a extra special Christmas please go to the Under The Tree 2009 post and read about how you can nominate them to be chosen for this great gift!
If you just wanna show your support you can go to the button page and see all kinds of designs that will fit any blog to support both of these events!
May you all be lucky and blessed this holiday season!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Measurements: 41 cm/wks still measuring big
Position: Still head down...way down lol
So besides the disappointing weight gain i am a little bit depressed about the lack of progress. It seems i have been having some very painful Braxton Hick Contractions but nothing more than that.
The midwife did reassure me today that even if it feels unready at the moment i could still go home and go into labor tonight. She said cervix checks are just not a accurate reading of labor.
She also settled my fears of going over due. She felt the baby and his position and said he is not a big baby. He is however very stretched out and relaxing. Which is why he feels so big to me. She said he has plenty of room to grow and I have very good birthing hips that will allow for a great delivery.
So the next few weeks will be a mix of NST tests (if i make it to 40 weeks), amniotic fluid checks, and waiting.
Tomorrow would have been my Mom's birthday so i am still holding out hope that he could share that very special day with her but i wont hold my breathe lol.
I am feeling much better about how things are going and although i am still tired, exhausted, in pain and ready for him to get here, I am also willing to wait and give him the time he needs to grow.
Such a great attitude i know! We will see how long it lasts though lol!