Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
10 Things I Love That Begin With "T"
- TV...i am such a tv addict. I watch it all. My faves have to be Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Private Practise, House, Bones, ER, and Fringe. Those are ones that i just refuse to miss. Hence i have a DVR (TiVo) lol.
- Time with Family and Friends...I love to spend time with my kids and husband. Also with my friends both online and in my real life. They are the backbone that holds me together sometimes.
- Telling Jokes...I love a good joke. I often find myself telling silly things my kids have said or done. Not to mention that my life at times is just plain comical. Almost like an episode of Rosanne before they won the lottery lol.
- Taco Bell...I am in love with Taco Bell. For those who don't know what that is...its a Mexican fast food joint. I could eat there everyday and never get enough. I have a love for spicy Mexican food but no matter how hard i try it never tastes as good at home as it does from them.
- Tall Tales...Now do not confuse this with lying because i hate that. What i am talking about is when a kid come over to you and tells you all about this big adventure and kinda exaggerates to make it sound like they blew up a mountain instead of just digging a tiny hole lol. They are very entertaining.
- Tattoos...I have 4 or 6 if you count the boy's names as separate ones. I got my first at 16 and have been addicted ever since. I would never go to the extreme of covering my body or anything like that. All of mine are covered and i would never get one that would be visible in a business setting.
- Telephone...I could not live without the modern day invention we call a phone. Sometimes it is my only contact with the outside world. (yes i am a homebody). I need that contact daily with my friends and family.
- Toys...Of all kinds. It is so fun to play with the toys you buy you kids. Sometimes it seems we have more fun with them than they do. Like the kitchen that we bought the boys last Christmas (yes we bought our BOYS a kitchen), we enjoyed playing with it that first night more than they did.
- Toddlers...Yes i even enjoy those lol. Toddlers are such a fun age to be in. They always have such great imagination at this age and always can make you laugh no matter how bad you feel. I have 2 myself and i am never bored that is for sure. It is by far my favorite part of motherhood (well besides the cuddly infant part).
- Trinidad and Tobago...This is a place i have always wanted to travel to. It is the southernmost island of the Caribbeans. It has beautiful landscape and peaceful beaches. i think it would make for a great 2nd honeymoon for me and hubby if i can just get his ass on a plane lol.
Ok now that is mine. Leave a comment and i will give you a letter. Then you can pass on the fun in your blog.
So i got the results yesterday. Hubby went to work and was suppose to go get the results when he got off work. When 3 rolled around and he wasn't home i called his work and he told me he knew he would be late so he had taken a break and went over and got them. He jokingly told me that he was not the father (which at the time i was not in the mood for jokes so i got a little snippy with him. That just isn't the type of thing you joke about). i felt relieved but a little upset that he didn't call me as soon as he got them and that he had told his colleagues before me. After the initial frustration of being the last to know i was overjoyed.
When he got home he went to call a friend of his and let them know the results and i pointed out that maybe he should call the boy's mother first before calling his friend (which is also a friend of hers). So he called her and told her that he had picked up the results early and that he was not his father. This was her response, "Um...Ok....Bye". WTF?!?!?!?!?! No, "I'm sorry for dragging your family through this". No, "well thanks for calling and letting me know". Nothing!!!!!!!! Just an "ok" and "bye". I mean really?!? You just put a crimp in my family for weeks and all you can say is "OK"? Needless to say i was a little dumb-founded but i am so glad we never have to speak to her again. Thank God that he let me keep my sanity these past few weeks.
So now that it is over with life can go back to normal. No more worries about paternity test and extra kids. No more discussion about baby mama drama (at least not on my end of the phone lol). I have to say that Chels is right. Never in a million years did i think that i would be going through a paternity test with a man that i know has been nothing but faithful to me. How many woman have to do a paternity test for a child that was conceived before they started dating their husband or boyfriend and the child is 4 already. I don't even want to go into what i think about someone who allows this to happen when it could have been taken care of 4 years ago (yes we offered her a test when the baby was born 4 years ago). So back to my normal life
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Ok so yesterday i had a rant about the paternity test and wanting the results. I did manage to get hubby to call about them but they have not got them back yet. The lady told him that because of the delivery system sometimes they don't get them on Mondays and to call back on Wednesday and check. They will have them no later than Friday and when they get them they will print us a copy and we can pick them up so we wont have to wait on them to be mailed out. That made me feel a bit better. After he got off the phone i explained to him how i am feeling about waiting on the results. The best way i can explain it is that i feel like someone has a gun to my head and i don't know whether they are going to shoot me or walk away. It is nerve racking. I guess this hit a chord with him and he felt bad (which was not my intent) but he got up and started cleaning the kitchen (which i had been bitching about for days now). When he finished the kitchen he went and cleaned our bedroom. It is the place where everything without a place ends up stacked, piled, and put in a corner. So needless to say it was a cluttered mess. He fixed it and cleaned it from top to bottom. I was so happy.
We had also go a book shelf from my dad's house that my mom had made for me when i was like 10. It is hand made and very simple but means a lot to me. We placed items like pictures and stuff on the top two shelves and then on the bottom shelf is all of my books (that i could find) and photo albums. It feels so nice to have something decorative in my house. Since we rent and not own i don't ever put a lot of effort into decorating. I seem to always be ready to pack up and move. I took a few pictures of the book case. Phabian just had to have a picture with it. We left the middle shelf empty for the kids books that Santa is bringing them. My mom's picture watches over us. The poem reads:
On to a dinner note lol. Last night i used a recipe that a girl from my parenting group gave me for quiche. I changed the ingredients to make it a turkey, bacon, and cheese quiche. It was so yummy. I took pictures cause it turned out so much better than the first one i made.If anyone wants the recipe ask and i will post it. But i think i am done now. Its long enough for one day lol.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Ok for those who don't know what is going on allow me to explain. When i first started dating my husband he told me that there was a girl who was pregnant and there was a possibility that it was his baby. I accepted that and we moved on. When she had the baby in August of 04 he asked to take a paternity test. She said there was no need. That someone had already been proven the father. I was hesitant to except that answer but we went on with life. Now we have 2 little boys of our own and a well put together life.
About a month ago she contacted my husband to take a paternity test (yes 4 years later). We told her that would be fine but only through the Child Support Office. She was reluctant to do that at first but finally she called them and they allowed her to drop the case against another man (who was her b/f at the time she got pregnant) and file one against my husband. Up to this point i was handling everything fine. I was thinking the process would take about 3 months or longer. Apparently i was wrong. They have implemented a new system for the paternity testing and now it takes 2 to 3 weeks to get the results.
They took the paternity test Friday, Sept. 12. They said it would be 2 to 3 weeks before we received the results. I was in shock. I was not ready for an answer that quickly. Now i have made it past that point and i want an answer now. I don't like the feeling of my life hanging in the balance. I have a million questions that need answers and they all revolve around what this paternity test says.
Hubby could call and get the results but he has been avoiding it all together. The actually have the results after about a week and if you call and they have them they will allow you to come pick them up instead of waiting on them to mail them out. Hubby doesn't wanna call. He isn't ready to know the truth. He wants to wait on the results to just show up. I cant handle the wait. I want the answer now. I need to know what path our life is going to take. I need to know what to prepare for.
I have all these questions going through my head. They all revolve around if he is his father. Will my kids be able to accept sharing their daddy with a new brother? Will i be able to accept the responsibility of being a step mother to a special needs child (He had a stroke when he was born and it cause damage to his brain. He is 4 with the mental capacity of a 2 year old. If he has another stroke he could be in a vegetative state.)? Is our love strong enough to survive the stress of a child this is his but not mine? What kind of impact will this have on our family in general? I have so many worries about this, but i need to have an answer to go off of.
If he is his father than we will handle it and if he isn't than we can go on with our life and forget about this situation. I just need to know. I need an answer. I need the results. I am sick of waiting. I just want this to be over.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
So MJ got a pair of gloves that they were using to pick up trash and leaves and had a blast playing with them. Amazing what little things kids will entertain themselves with.
I told Phabian after dinner that he could call and talk to his Nenaw in Fla (this is my mom's sister). He got real comfy on the couch and talked to her about school and reading. Even at one point telling her if she went blind he would read to her lol. Kids really do say the darnedest things.
So we had a fun day. They jumped on the trampoline and played on the swings. It was a warm but not hot day. Only about 75 or so. Nice breeze. Good pumpkin weather as me and Chels were talking about. I hope it keeps this way for awhile. The Pumpkin Festival starts Oct. 2 -5 and i am hoping to get to take the kids. It will be fun and they will enjoy it. For $5 they give them a small pumpkin and some paint and let them paint pumpkins. That should be interesting lol. I just am trying to feel better and enjoy the nice weather before it gets too cold. Spring and fall our my faves. Hopefully i will be able to go to my dad's and get some beautiful shots of the changing leaves. I will post them when i do.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I just wanna go back to bed...hopefully nap time will come early today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....
*** If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'
*** Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.
*** If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
*** Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.
*** Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.
*** Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.
*** If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee , spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
***If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
*** If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
*** If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
*** If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
*** If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.
*** If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
*** If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Yesterday we went to pick up Phabian from school and his teacher was telling us how smart and wonderful a student he is. She said that he can trace his name perfectly (that is one of the things they practice everyday), he catches on quick to the songs and games, and that he is very patient and well minded. At this point she must have noticed me looking at her with this stunned look on my face because the child she just described sounded, to me, nothing like the child i see at home.
Patient is not a word i use to describe my energetic little boy. He, for that matter, has always had his mommy's personality of now now now. He usually lives in the moment and never thinks past what he is doing that second.
Now i will not argue that he is smart. We noticed from an early age that he was very quick to learn. He tends to catch on to things very quick when he wants to learn them. I was so proud to have someone else notice my child's intelligence.
He can trace his name and most of his letters???? Are you serious?????? They sent home a practice sheet last week for their letter of the week "Ee". We tried for hours to get him to trace them like they do at school and he would refuse. When he would "trace" it he would just scribble on top of it not even trying to actually trace it.
I am in no way saying that my kid is a mean, impatient, brat but he does have his days. He is very hard headed and tends to like to do what he wants to do and you either can fight him or you can just go with it. I was just kind of stunned.
So here is my question for the mommies....Does this sound anything like you kids? Are they one kid at school and another at home? Did i miss some mommy memo that says your kid will be prefect for teachers and a hellion for you? He doesn't share much of his days with us. He tells us he played and ever so often we get a story about what they did that day. I know i have a lot of my ladies that have just put their kids in school this year so i am looking for some insight here. How do you kids behave at school compared to home?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
MJ had to have his picture taken with it too. He was just as excited to show me as Phabian and he didn't even know what it was at first lol.
I think if we just had a tenth of the imagination that they have then life would be a much happier place.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Part of me can't believe that it has been 7 years. Another part of me feels like it was just yesterday. Still to this day i don't really know how i feel about what happened on September 11th 2001. My heart aches for those that lost a special someone on that day. My heart breaks for our country and how one violent act has thrown this country into a downward spiral of fear and loss. I can't get through this day without thinking about the song by Alan Jackson "Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?".
I remember exactly where i was. It was my Sophomore year of high school. The year had barley got off to a start. I was in 2nd period and the day just happened to be Fine Arts Day. We were studying the Ancient Egyptian Pyramids. My Homeroom teacher, who happened to be a history teacher and a war buff, was right across the hall. At about 9:00am Mr. Weaver came running into our Fine Arts class and yelled "Turn on the TV we are being bombed". Those are not words you forget. We turned on the TV just in time to see the second plan crash into the second tower. I remember feeling this knot growing in my stomach. I did not know anyone in either of the tower nor in any of the planes, but i knew that what was happening was going to change the way we lived forever. Shortly after there came an announcement over the intercom that 4 planes had been hijacked and that we should not panic but go on with our day unless other wise instructed. I remember thinking how do we go on about our day like this hasn't happened. The day was anything but normal. Every class was distracted from daily work as we watched the towers fall. We watched people run, scream, and cry. An image that will forever be stuck in my head was the sight of people jumping in desperation from the buildings before they fell. I remember thinking how bad it must be, how scared you have to become to jump 50 or more stories just to try and survive an impending death. I remember one of my friends leaving school because her father was on a business trip in New York and her mother couldn't contact him. I think now looking back that everyone was scared to death. It was like the end of the world was coming and there was nothing we could do but sit there and watch as it all came crashing down on top of us. I left school early that day. I couldn't control my emotions and finally my teacher told me to call my dad and go home.
When i got home i turned on the TV and watched in disbelief as the news kept rolling. The other 2 planes that had crashed. The fire and police men missing. I watched until i couldn't watch anymore and fell asleep in tears. I remember the next days as we learned more about what happened. The real shock came when West Virginia learned that we were on the list of targets to hit. Because of our massive amount of chemical plants and our relative closeness to DC we were a target. My head swam with too much information. Too many what ifs. Not Many people know that Greenbrier County in the safe haven for the president. There is a tunnel that leads there from the White House should the president need to escape unknown. I remember being in fear that this wasn't over. That another attack would happen and this time it would strike closer to home.
I would hope that 7 years later we have more answers than we do questions but i don't think we do. I think our government has lead us in the wrong direction. Not in the beginning but on down the line our mission got obstructed. It angers me that we still don't have the one man totally responsible for this horrific time in our nation. It hurts that the families who will forever morn this day don't have a sense of peace that there loved one's killer, the man who masterminded this whole scheme, is no longer a threat. I hope that with a new president we will become focused once again on the real cause for being in the middle east and that our soldiers who died 7 years ago today and everyday over sea have not died in vain. I pray that God has mercy on the families of the fallen heroes of that day. The ones who came from all over to search for strangers in the rubble, the ones who helped a few escape while they perished, the ones who came to work that day ready for a boring day of fighting small fires or writing tickets to speeders only to die trying to save the victims of a unexplainable, senseless act of violence, the ones on the plane who fought back against these villains and save what might have been 100's of other people. I say thank you to them today. As we remember this day forever in a hearts and souls make sure to thank them for their service. Thank them for their heroic strength that aloud them to put others above their own safety.
I hope every one takes the time to remember today. Remember it all and feel blessed when you hug you children and husband/wife. Be thankful that they are with you as so many today will morn the loss of the ones they loved and no longer have. If September 11th 2001 taught us anything it should have taught us to love hard and never forget that we do not know what today holds for us. So make sure you leave nothing unsaid today. If you miss someone tell them, If you love someone tell them, if you need something ask, and if you feel there is something you have been putting off for to long waiting for the right time do it. You never know if today is your September 11th!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
This is me as an infant. I look very small but i was 7lbs 2 ozs and 21 1/2 ins long. Born February 9th 1986 at 6:28 am.
3 what a great age. Awww to only be 3 once again.
4...i wonder what i was like at that age...wish i could remember.
5...whats with the crushed velvet dress...ewwwwwwwwwww
My first dance recital, 1990, i was 4, Rags to Riches was the name of the show.
Me with a horse that was at the local mall for pictures. I loved horses when i was younger.
Me at 15 the summer after my mom died. Its amazing the pain that a smile can hide. And look how skinny i was. Man i wish i could go back and smack the 15yo me for thinking i was fat. Tell her to just wait 8 years.
My mom and dad before kids...it is amazing what kids will do for you appearance lol!
My mom when she was about 4 i think lol
My mom in Junior High School (Or middle school for some)
Me and my mommy when i was like 1. I miss her so much.
By far the most influential person in my life. My mommy!!!!! I miss her so very much. RIP mommy November 5 1947 - March 19, 2001. I Love You!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Gotta love the fake cheese lol
Granny with Phabian in the waiting room.
Another one...he was so excited that Granny walked him to school.
I am still in disbelief that my first born son is even old enough to go to school, but i guess you blink and time flies by. I only shed a few tears this morning only because he wasn't even going to tell me goodbye. I mean when did he get to be so big that he didn't need to tell mommy bye. He is so confident and so happy about this experience where i am still a little anxious and apprehensive about it. I trust the teachers to take care of him but he is my baby. No one will ever care for him the way i do and even though it is only 3 1/2 hours a day that is still longer than he has ever been away before (besides at family's homes). I know i will adjust and MJ and i will begin to enjoy this time together but right now i am a little sad about it. He grew up too fast and next year MJ will be gone too. It is just so hard to let go even if they are ready to go.
It make me wonder how many moms they have drop off a kid and then come back an hour later in tears not ready to let their baby grow up. That's kind of how i feel. I just wanna run back and get him and say no its not time for him to grow up yet. He is too little to be in school doing work and learning letters. He is still just a baby in my eyes. I still remember bringing him home from the hospital. When and how did this happen? When did he get so big? How did i miss it? These are all the questions and more running through my head.
Well all i hope everyone is having a good day and i will update more about how his day went later when he gets home and we talk about it.