Monday, September 29, 2008

Sleeping Angels Contest

Over at 5 Minutes for Mom they are doing a give away for a new bedroom suit. The contest is for kids 12 and under. All you have to do is post a picture of your sleeping angel in your blog and then link back to them. I would love to have a new bed set for the boys. They still refuse to sleep in seperate bed but this would be a good first step to getting them to. They have two sets. My fave and the one i would like is the Summer Breeze Set in Country Pine. It is beautiful and i just know the boys would love it. So with that said here is a pic of my youngest and his sweet sleeping face.
This is my youngest MJ. He fell asleep infront of the TV one night. He was sitting up and it made for the cutest pictures ever!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

10 Things I Love That Begin With "T"

Lisanne at Bathtub Junkie invited us to comment on her blog entry and receive a letter. She chose "T" for me. If you wanna play too then leave a comment and i will give you a letter.

10 Things I Love That Begin With "T"

  1. TV...i am such a tv addict. I watch it all. My faves have to be Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Private Practise, House, Bones, ER, and Fringe. Those are ones that i just refuse to miss. Hence i have a DVR (TiVo) lol.
  2. Time with Family and Friends...I love to spend time with my kids and husband. Also with my friends both online and in my real life. They are the backbone that holds me together sometimes.
  3. Telling Jokes...I love a good joke. I often find myself telling silly things my kids have said or done. Not to mention that my life at times is just plain comical. Almost like an episode of Rosanne before they won the lottery lol.
  4. Taco Bell...I am in love with Taco Bell. For those who don't know what that is...its a Mexican fast food joint. I could eat there everyday and never get enough. I have a love for spicy Mexican food but no matter how hard i try it never tastes as good at home as it does from them.
  5. Tall Tales...Now do not confuse this with lying because i hate that. What i am talking about is when a kid come over to you and tells you all about this big adventure and kinda exaggerates to make it sound like they blew up a mountain instead of just digging a tiny hole lol. They are very entertaining.
  6. Tattoos...I have 4 or 6 if you count the boy's names as separate ones. I got my first at 16 and have been addicted ever since. I would never go to the extreme of covering my body or anything like that. All of mine are covered and i would never get one that would be visible in a business setting.
  7. Telephone...I could not live without the modern day invention we call a phone. Sometimes it is my only contact with the outside world. (yes i am a homebody). I need that contact daily with my friends and family.
  8. Toys...Of all kinds. It is so fun to play with the toys you buy you kids. Sometimes it seems we have more fun with them than they do. Like the kitchen that we bought the boys last Christmas (yes we bought our BOYS a kitchen), we enjoyed playing with it that first night more than they did.
  9. Toddlers...Yes i even enjoy those lol. Toddlers are such a fun age to be in. They always have such great imagination at this age and always can make you laugh no matter how bad you feel. I have 2 myself and i am never bored that is for sure. It is by far my favorite part of motherhood (well besides the cuddly infant part).
  10. Trinidad and Tobago...This is a place i have always wanted to travel to. It is the southernmost island of the Caribbeans. It has beautiful landscape and peaceful beaches. i think it would make for a great 2nd honeymoon for me and hubby if i can just get his ass on a plane lol.

Ok now that is mine. Leave a comment and i will give you a letter. Then you can pass on the fun in your blog.


Ok so i officially have the results of the paternity test. It has been a long few weeks and i am glad it is over. Marcus is officially NOT the father of the little boy. I cant even begin to tell you how relieved i am. You never will know how you truly feel about something like this until the results finally come in. I must say that my feeling in of overwhelming giddiness and joy. I don't know what i would have done if he was his father. I would have done my best to be a good step mom but i just don't even wanna think about the effect it would have on our family.

So i got the results yesterday. Hubby went to work and was suppose to go get the results when he got off work. When 3 rolled around and he wasn't home i called his work and he told me he knew he would be late so he had taken a break and went over and got them. He jokingly told me that he was not the father (which at the time i was not in the mood for jokes so i got a little snippy with him. That just isn't the type of thing you joke about). i felt relieved but a little upset that he didn't call me as soon as he got them and that he had told his colleagues before me. After the initial frustration of being the last to know i was overjoyed.

When he got home he went to call a friend of his and let them know the results and i pointed out that maybe he should call the boy's mother first before calling his friend (which is also a friend of hers). So he called her and told her that he had picked up the results early and that he was not his father. This was her response, "Um...Ok....Bye". WTF?!?!?!?!?! No, "I'm sorry for dragging your family through this". No, "well thanks for calling and letting me know". Nothing!!!!!!!! Just an "ok" and "bye". I mean really?!? You just put a crimp in my family for weeks and all you can say is "OK"? Needless to say i was a little dumb-founded but i am so glad we never have to speak to her again. Thank God that he let me keep my sanity these past few weeks.

So now that it is over with life can go back to normal. No more worries about paternity test and extra kids. No more discussion about baby mama drama (at least not on my end of the phone lol). I have to say that Chels is right. Never in a million years did i think that i would be going through a paternity test with a man that i know has been nothing but faithful to me. How many woman have to do a paternity test for a child that was conceived before they started dating their husband or boyfriend and the child is 4 already. I don't even want to go into what i think about someone who allows this to happen when it could have been taken care of 4 years ago (yes we offered her a test when the baby was born 4 years ago). So back to my normal life

THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Several Things

Well i guess i have a lot to blog about. Not really a lot just several different topics. I have been very scatter brained lately and cant seem to focus on any one thing. Maybe it is a cooping mechanism or something. My brain just doesn't seem to want to cooperate with what i need to get done.

Ok so yesterday i had a rant about the paternity test and wanting the results. I did manage to get hubby to call about them but they have not got them back yet. The lady told him that because of the delivery system sometimes they don't get them on Mondays and to call back on Wednesday and check. They will have them no later than Friday and when they get them they will print us a copy and we can pick them up so we wont have to wait on them to be mailed out. That made me feel a bit better. After he got off the phone i explained to him how i am feeling about waiting on the results. The best way i can explain it is that i feel like someone has a gun to my head and i don't know whether they are going to shoot me or walk away. It is nerve racking. I guess this hit a chord with him and he felt bad (which was not my intent) but he got up and started cleaning the kitchen (which i had been bitching about for days now). When he finished the kitchen he went and cleaned our bedroom. It is the place where everything without a place ends up stacked, piled, and put in a corner. So needless to say it was a cluttered mess. He fixed it and cleaned it from top to bottom. I was so happy.

We had also go a book shelf from my dad's house that my mom had made for me when i was like 10. It is hand made and very simple but means a lot to me. We placed items like pictures and stuff on the top two shelves and then on the bottom shelf is all of my books (that i could find) and photo albums. It feels so nice to have something decorative in my house. Since we rent and not own i don't ever put a lot of effort into decorating. I seem to always be ready to pack up and move. I took a few pictures of the book case. Phabian just had to have a picture with it. We left the middle shelf empty for the kids books that Santa is bringing them. My mom's picture watches over us. The poem reads:

Home In Heaven

I'm safely home in Heaven,
though I know you miss me so.
The love I've always felt for you,
within my heart still flows.

My spirit will remain with you
every single day, appearing as a
rainbow or as ocean waves at play.

I'm in the gentle rains that fall,
and in the morning dew.
All you see that's beautiful
reflects my love for you.

I didn't mean to cause you pain,
my time had simply come.
The work that I was meant to do
on earth had all been done.

I'm safely home in Heaven,
where eternal peace is mine.
And where, when God has called you
too, I'll be forever Thine.

Bobbie Wilkinson

On to a dinner note lol. Last night i used a recipe that a girl from my parenting group gave me for quiche. I changed the ingredients to make it a turkey, bacon, and cheese quiche. It was so yummy. I took pictures cause it turned out so much better than the first one i made.

If anyone wants the recipe ask and i will post it. But i think i am done now. Its long enough for one day lol.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Needing...Wanting An Answer

Ok so i am really becoming anxious about these results. I want them to be here today. I know it has only been a little over a week and they said 2 to 3 weeks but i want to know now.

Ok for those who don't know what is going on allow me to explain. When i first started dating my husband he told me that there was a girl who was pregnant and there was a possibility that it was his baby. I accepted that and we moved on. When she had the baby in August of 04 he asked to take a paternity test. She said there was no need. That someone had already been proven the father. I was hesitant to except that answer but we went on with life. Now we have 2 little boys of our own and a well put together life.

About a month ago she contacted my husband to take a paternity test (yes 4 years later). We told her that would be fine but only through the Child Support Office. She was reluctant to do that at first but finally she called them and they allowed her to drop the case against another man (who was her b/f at the time she got pregnant) and file one against my husband. Up to this point i was handling everything fine. I was thinking the process would take about 3 months or longer. Apparently i was wrong. They have implemented a new system for the paternity testing and now it takes 2 to 3 weeks to get the results.

They took the paternity test Friday, Sept. 12. They said it would be 2 to 3 weeks before we received the results. I was in shock. I was not ready for an answer that quickly. Now i have made it past that point and i want an answer now. I don't like the feeling of my life hanging in the balance. I have a million questions that need answers and they all revolve around what this paternity test says.

Hubby could call and get the results but he has been avoiding it all together. The actually have the results after about a week and if you call and they have them they will allow you to come pick them up instead of waiting on them to mail them out. Hubby doesn't wanna call. He isn't ready to know the truth. He wants to wait on the results to just show up. I cant handle the wait. I want the answer now. I need to know what path our life is going to take. I need to know what to prepare for.

I have all these questions going through my head. They all revolve around if he is his father. Will my kids be able to accept sharing their daddy with a new brother? Will i be able to accept the responsibility of being a step mother to a special needs child (He had a stroke when he was born and it cause damage to his brain. He is 4 with the mental capacity of a 2 year old. If he has another stroke he could be in a vegetative state.)? Is our love strong enough to survive the stress of a child this is his but not mine? What kind of impact will this have on our family in general? I have so many worries about this, but i need to have an answer to go off of.

If he is his father than we will handle it and if he isn't than we can go on with our life and forget about this situation. I just need to know. I need an answer. I need the results. I am sick of waiting. I just want this to be over.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Bragging For A Moment

I just wanted to brag for a moment about how beautiful my niece is. I may be bias but i think she is just gorgeous!!!!


So yesterday was an easy day. I did a load or two of laundry and picked up the living room a little but besides that i rested. I have had a horrible cough for about a week now and it will not give way. So about 1:30 the kids laid down for a nap and so did i. We slept til 4 when someone rang the door bell. Turned out it was my MIL and my niece Curtava. They had come over to play and see what we were into. We talked for awhile before venturing out to the back yard. Once outside my MIL starts cleaning my backyard. This is her MO lol. She always comes over an cleans something. I love her for that but i hate that she has to do it. I have been asking Marcus for weeks to clean the yard but he has yet to do so. He got home about 2 mins after his mom got here and then precedes to run outside (literally without even changing out of his work clothes first) after i told him that his mom was here and she was cleaning our yard. He helped her in total clean the backyard, the back porch, and the front porch. I must say i was happy it got don't, but why did it take his mother doing it before he would start it. GRRRRRRRR.

Anyways i got a few cute snap shots of MJ and Phabian yesterday. Here they go...

So MJ got a pair of gloves that they were using to pick up trash and leaves and had a blast playing with them. Amazing what little things kids will entertain themselves with.

I told Phabian after dinner that he could call and talk to his Nenaw in Fla (this is my mom's sister). He got real comfy on the couch and talked to her about school and reading. Even at one point telling her if she went blind he would read to her lol. Kids really do say the darnedest things.

So we had a fun day. They jumped on the trampoline and played on the swings. It was a warm but not hot day. Only about 75 or so. Nice breeze. Good pumpkin weather as me and Chels were talking about. I hope it keeps this way for awhile. The Pumpkin Festival starts Oct. 2 -5 and i am hoping to get to take the kids. It will be fun and they will enjoy it. For $5 they give them a small pumpkin and some paint and let them paint pumpkins. That should be interesting lol. I just am trying to feel better and enjoy the nice weather before it gets too cold. Spring and fall our my faves. Hopefully i will be able to go to my dad's and get some beautiful shots of the changing leaves. I will post them when i do.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Morning So Far

OK i know that sounds great right. Its only 9am here and i have already had a rather exciting if not aggravating morning. Lets start from the beginning.

At 5am i woke up to Phabian kicking me in my back. At some point during the night (and this is every night) Phabian crawled in the bed with me and my husband got up and went to sleep on the couch. Then i woke up at 6am with one kid on each side of me leaving me a small space in the middle of the bed to try and sleep for the remainder of what should have been 2 hours (since my kids normally get up about 8 when they are in bed with me and hubby is at work). This plan must have not been in the stars. At 6:45am i hear Phabian screaming and crying and i hear my husband lay him back down in our room with our peacefully sleeping (MJ) son. Phabian proceeds to cry for the next 15 mins (all because he wanted some milk and daddy wouldn't get up to get him some even though he would have went right back to sleep if he would have just given him the milk)(not to mention hubby had to be at work at 8 anyways so he needed to get up). So i fly out of bed after it finally wakes me and MJ up and get them both some milk. I was pissed. He could have just got his lazy ass up and fixed the milk. Phabian would have crawled back in bed with me and MJ and went right back to sleep til 8 or so. Needless to say in my cranky half asleep manor i yelled at my husband. I instantly felt bad not because i yelled at him but because the kids saw me yell at him so i went an apologized so the kids would see the right thing to do.

So as if that wasn't bad enough this was the rest of my morning:

Phabian: Mommy i have to poop!

Me: Well then go to the bathroom baby.

Phabian: I can't the door is locked!

Me: No it's not Phabian it is just stuck, pull harder. (sometimes our door gets stuck at the top)

Phabian: No mommy it's locked.

So i proceed to go over and try and turn the knob. Sure enough he had locked it from the inside and then shut the door behind him when he came out this morning. So this is what it looked like.
Not fun to do at 8:30 in the morning when you were already mad.
On top of it all MJ is in a mood this morning. I took the sheets off of their beds (which they only sleep in for a matter of maybe 6 hrs a night before they are in bed with us) to wash them and MJ threw a fit. He screamed, cried, and threw himself on the bed. When i tried to calm him down he backed into the corner and told me to get away. I then saw a beautiful opportunity to Photography his mood which on camera looks kinda sad but he really was mad.

I just wanna go back to bed...hopefully nap time will come early today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Palin Vs Obama...Fact Check Sheet

Note: I am not suggesting any one side is right or wrong nor am i trying to push my views on anyone. I admire Gov. Palin in the same way i admire Sen. Clinton. I also admire Sen. Obama for doing what no black man in history has been able to do. Even if he doesn't win the presidency he has made a huge impact on history as well as Palin and Clinton have. They are doing what so many woman only dreamed of. I do not agree with most Republican platforms there for i consider myself a Democrat but i think we have strayed far from the real issues of this election. There are too many lies being spread and to many smear campaigns going on and not enough real talk about out economic recession, global warming, the war in Iraq, and health care. This is just a message that was forwarded to me and i will pass it on for the sake of information. If i get one that the facts check out on about Palin or McCain i will pass that on too. This has been a historical election but i am ready to get back to the real issues not who has the best personality or "star" quality!!!

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

*** If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'
*** Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

*** If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
*** Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

*** Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.
*** Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

*** If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee , spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
***If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

*** If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
*** If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

*** If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
*** If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.

*** If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
*** If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Questions For The Mommies

Ok so no pictures to share today...well at least not yet lol. I have a question for all my mommies who have kids in school.

Yesterday we went to pick up Phabian from school and his teacher was telling us how smart and wonderful a student he is. She said that he can trace his name perfectly (that is one of the things they practice everyday), he catches on quick to the songs and games, and that he is very patient and well minded. At this point she must have noticed me looking at her with this stunned look on my face because the child she just described sounded, to me, nothing like the child i see at home.

Patient is not a word i use to describe my energetic little boy. He, for that matter, has always had his mommy's personality of now now now. He usually lives in the moment and never thinks past what he is doing that second.

Now i will not argue that he is smart. We noticed from an early age that he was very quick to learn. He tends to catch on to things very quick when he wants to learn them. I was so proud to have someone else notice my child's intelligence.

He can trace his name and most of his letters???? Are you serious?????? They sent home a practice sheet last week for their letter of the week "Ee". We tried for hours to get him to trace them like they do at school and he would refuse. When he would "trace" it he would just scribble on top of it not even trying to actually trace it.

I am in no way saying that my kid is a mean, impatient, brat but he does have his days. He is very hard headed and tends to like to do what he wants to do and you either can fight him or you can just go with it. I was just kind of stunned.

So here is my question for the mommies....Does this sound anything like you kids? Are they one kid at school and another at home? Did i miss some mommy memo that says your kid will be prefect for teachers and a hellion for you? He doesn't share much of his days with us. He tells us he played and ever so often we get a story about what they did that day. I know i have a lot of my ladies that have just put their kids in school this year so i am looking for some insight here. How do you kids behave at school compared to home?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Phabian's School Turtle

So i meant to post these a week ago but i totally forgot. Phabian was learning about animals in school and they made Paper Plate Turtles and Bird Treats. I don't have any pictures of the Bird Treat cause it was immediately hung in a tree outside for the birdies lol. It was one of the ones you make our of Peanut Butter, Pine Cones, and Bird Seed. He was so proud of it. What i do have pictures of is his Paper Plate Turtle. He was so excited to show me. He hurried us home so that he could get it out and show me his Turtle. The teacher said they made it all by themselves. They helped them cut but they glued and colored it themselves. I think i have Picasso (sp) for a baby lol but i am probably bias.

MJ had to have his picture taken with it too. He was just as excited to show me as Phabian and he didn't even know what it was at first lol.

Phabian's and MJ's Imagination

I just thought i would share this with everyone. It amazes me how their little imaginations work. This morning my pink rocking chair turned into a fishing boat and their blankies into fishing poles. and for about an hour they were fisherman out on the deep blue sea. They caught big fish for mommy to fry for dinner. It was adorable. These are the shots a managed to catch of my little fisherman.
I think if we just had a tenth of the imagination that they have then life would be a much happier place.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

What Does Today Mean To You?

In memory of all of the fallen Heroes that gave their life on this day and others to make sure our freedom was protected. THANK YOU!!!

Part of me can't believe that it has been 7 years. Another part of me feels like it was just yesterday. Still to this day i don't really know how i feel about what happened on September 11th 2001. My heart aches for those that lost a special someone on that day. My heart breaks for our country and how one violent act has thrown this country into a downward spiral of fear and loss. I can't get through this day without thinking about the song by Alan Jackson "Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?".

I remember exactly where i was. It was my Sophomore year of high school. The year had barley got off to a start. I was in 2nd period and the day just happened to be Fine Arts Day. We were studying the Ancient Egyptian Pyramids. My Homeroom teacher, who happened to be a history teacher and a war buff, was right across the hall. At about 9:00am Mr. Weaver came running into our Fine Arts class and yelled "Turn on the TV we are being bombed". Those are not words you forget. We turned on the TV just in time to see the second plan crash into the second tower. I remember feeling this knot growing in my stomach. I did not know anyone in either of the tower nor in any of the planes, but i knew that what was happening was going to change the way we lived forever. Shortly after there came an announcement over the intercom that 4 planes had been hijacked and that we should not panic but go on with our day unless other wise instructed. I remember thinking how do we go on about our day like this hasn't happened. The day was anything but normal. Every class was distracted from daily work as we watched the towers fall. We watched people run, scream, and cry. An image that will forever be stuck in my head was the sight of people jumping in desperation from the buildings before they fell. I remember thinking how bad it must be, how scared you have to become to jump 50 or more stories just to try and survive an impending death. I remember one of my friends leaving school because her father was on a business trip in New York and her mother couldn't contact him. I think now looking back that everyone was scared to death. It was like the end of the world was coming and there was nothing we could do but sit there and watch as it all came crashing down on top of us. I left school early that day. I couldn't control my emotions and finally my teacher told me to call my dad and go home.

When i got home i turned on the TV and watched in disbelief as the news kept rolling. The other 2 planes that had crashed. The fire and police men missing. I watched until i couldn't watch anymore and fell asleep in tears. I remember the next days as we learned more about what happened. The real shock came when West Virginia learned that we were on the list of targets to hit. Because of our massive amount of chemical plants and our relative closeness to DC we were a target. My head swam with too much information. Too many what ifs. Not Many people know that Greenbrier County in the safe haven for the president. There is a tunnel that leads there from the White House should the president need to escape unknown. I remember being in fear that this wasn't over. That another attack would happen and this time it would strike closer to home.

I would hope that 7 years later we have more answers than we do questions but i don't think we do. I think our government has lead us in the wrong direction. Not in the beginning but on down the line our mission got obstructed. It angers me that we still don't have the one man totally responsible for this horrific time in our nation. It hurts that the families who will forever morn this day don't have a sense of peace that there loved one's killer, the man who masterminded this whole scheme, is no longer a threat. I hope that with a new president we will become focused once again on the real cause for being in the middle east and that our soldiers who died 7 years ago today and everyday over sea have not died in vain. I pray that God has mercy on the families of the fallen heroes of that day. The ones who came from all over to search for strangers in the rubble, the ones who helped a few escape while they perished, the ones who came to work that day ready for a boring day of fighting small fires or writing tickets to speeders only to die trying to save the victims of a unexplainable, senseless act of violence, the ones on the plane who fought back against these villains and save what might have been 100's of other people. I say thank you to them today. As we remember this day forever in a hearts and souls make sure to thank them for their service. Thank them for their heroic strength that aloud them to put others above their own safety.

I hope every one takes the time to remember today. Remember it all and feel blessed when you hug you children and husband/wife. Be thankful that they are with you as so many today will morn the loss of the ones they loved and no longer have. If September 11th 2001 taught us anything it should have taught us to love hard and never forget that we do not know what today holds for us. So make sure you leave nothing unsaid today. If you miss someone tell them, If you love someone tell them, if you need something ask, and if you feel there is something you have been putting off for to long waiting for the right time do it. You never know if today is your September 11th!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Past

The most important thing about the past is that it is the past. You don't have to think about it if you don't want to or focus on it if it isn't important. We move on and although some memories of the past are worth the though some are not. I though today i would share some of the past with my present.

This is me as an infant. I look very small but i was 7lbs 2 ozs and 21 1/2 ins long. Born February 9th 1986 at 6:28 am.
This is me at 1. Wasn't i just adorable. Strawberry blond eyes...wild child.

This is me at 2. So innocent looking. And yes it was just a look lol!

3 what a great age. Awww to only be 3 once again.

4...i wonder what i was like at that age...wish i could remember.

5...whats with the crushed velvet dress...ewwwwwwwwwww

My first dance recital, 1990, i was 4, Rags to Riches was the name of the show.

Me with a horse that was at the local mall for pictures. I loved horses when i was younger.

Me at 15 the summer after my mom died. Its amazing the pain that a smile can hide. And look how skinny i was. Man i wish i could go back and smack the 15yo me for thinking i was fat. Tell her to just wait 8 years.

My mom and dad before is amazing what kids will do for you appearance lol!

My mom when she was about 4 i think lol

My mom in Junior High School (Or middle school for some)

Me and my mommy when i was like 1. I miss her so much.

By far the most influential person in my life. My mommy!!!!! I miss her so very much. RIP mommy November 5 1947 - March 19, 2001. I Love You!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Life Is Like a...

I bet most of you can finish that quote for me. It really seems to be true here lately. No matter how hard you try it seems you never know what day to day life will bring. Most of you that know me from my parenting group and in day to day life know what is going on with me and my family right now. You know that things are a bit confusing but hopefully that will work itself out soon. That isn't what i am choosing to blog about today. As a matter of fact i am trying to put that as far out of my mind as possible.
I just haven't felt right for days now but today i am seemingly on a uphill run. i didn't get much sleep last night but i woke up this morning a felt great. Marcus went to work at 7 and MJ and I walked Phabian to school at 8. We came home and had some fun. We played a game on the computer with a monkey (which he loves). We were going to bake cookies but decided to wait on Phabian to get home to do that. I have been smiling a lot today. It feels good to be able to smile.
At this point in my life where i am a proud mother to two handsome boys and a wife to a loving husband i feel like the only other thing i have to brag about it the great friends i have. Most of them being in my Yahoo Parenting group. I have been with these ladies for almost 3 years (some of them longer since they were in another group i was in). They really have became part of my reality. I talk to them daily as i do my real life friends. I express my sympathy if they are going through problems as they do to me also. Some days they truly are my sanity and the only ones who will understand what i am feeling. Without these ladies i don't know if i could make it through some days without breaking down.
That is what friendship is all about. Helping each other through the good and the bad. Being there even if it means just lending an open ear. Giving input when you have BTDT and have some advice to help. I truly am blessed with some of the best friends anyone could have. Even in they are miles away these friends have never judged me and they have always been there. I love ya girls.
I am also blessed with another best friend, a sister, who i love with all my heart and would do anything for. We have had our good and bad times with each other, and we have been through it all together. When things seem to grave to overcome we life each other up so that we can go just one step further. She is a rock for me and i for her. There is nothing in this world i wouldn't do to make her life just a tad happier (well except maybe leave my husband and hurt my kids lol). She is the best, most real, and most honest friend one could ever ask for. I love you Chels.
My husband is also my best friend. He is and always has been a constant pillar for me to lean on when i am weak. I love him and i do not know what my life would be without him in it. I admire how we have been together for 4 years and married for almost 4 and we barley even fight. I love that he can still make me crack and smile or dare i say even laugh when i am so furious i could cry. He is truly the man of my dreams and he will always be my king.
So i feel with all the family and all my friends i am truly blessed. I know that no matter how bad it gets i will always be able to make it through with the help of these amazing people. They each have individual characteristics that make them the most wonderful people that anyone could ask for. Thank you for everything. Everyone of you has touched my life.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

It Went Well

Well we went to pick my boy up from school at around 11:25 and he was so excited to see us. His face lit up and he was running to us. It felt so good to see him even though he had only been gone for a few hours. He was so happy. He said that he played with blocks and made towers. This week they are learning all about animals. Today was dogs (which he is terrified of). The letter of the week is C and the word of the day was Car. He said his teacher Ms Kim and Ms Angie were nice. He told me all about his tomato soup and grilled cheese he had for lunch. He said he also had oranges and pancakes for breakfast. He said he watched as they sang a few songs. Over all he had a great day and did well recounting to me what happened but we will work on it a bit. I guess he had a good day and that's what matters to me. the teachers sent him home with some papers for me to fill out and a achievement certificate for a great first day of school. We hung it on the wall. He loves it and i know with time so will i.

First Day Of School

So today is the day. Phabian is at school and MJ and I are at home. It is so awkward for me to only have one child here with me but i know he is in good hands.

We left the house at 7:15 this morning. We walked to my MIL's house and waited til about 7:30 to walk over to the school. We got there early and waited in the waiting area. At 5 til 8 they took my baby in the room. He didn't even say goodbye at first. I had to call him back to give me a hug and kiss and to tell him to be good and that i would be back at 11:30 to pick him up. He could have cared less. MJ on the other hand had a fit. He was so upset that bubby was gone. He wanted to go with him. It was so sad to watch my baby MJ cry over his bubby. We returned home and now we are chilling together just me and him. Well right now he is watching Handy Manny and drawing me a picture and i am, well, i am writing this blog.

Here are a few pictures from this morning and drop off.
I love this shirt: Holding out for chocolate milk!

Gotta love the fake cheese lol

Granny with Phabian in the waiting room.

Another one...he was so excited that Granny walked him to school.

I am still in disbelief that my first born son is even old enough to go to school, but i guess you blink and time flies by. I only shed a few tears this morning only because he wasn't even going to tell me goodbye. I mean when did he get to be so big that he didn't need to tell mommy bye. He is so confident and so happy about this experience where i am still a little anxious and apprehensive about it. I trust the teachers to take care of him but he is my baby. No one will ever care for him the way i do and even though it is only 3 1/2 hours a day that is still longer than he has ever been away before (besides at family's homes). I know i will adjust and MJ and i will begin to enjoy this time together but right now i am a little sad about it. He grew up too fast and next year MJ will be gone too. It is just so hard to let go even if they are ready to go.

It make me wonder how many moms they have drop off a kid and then come back an hour later in tears not ready to let their baby grow up. That's kind of how i feel. I just wanna run back and get him and say no its not time for him to grow up yet. He is too little to be in school doing work and learning letters. He is still just a baby in my eyes. I still remember bringing him home from the hospital. When and how did this happen? When did he get so big? How did i miss it? These are all the questions and more running through my head.

Well all i hope everyone is having a good day and i will update more about how his day went later when he gets home and we talk about it.