Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Just One Of Them Days....

That a girl goes through!!!

OK now that i got that out of my system. I really don't have a lot on my mind which is confusing and relaxing all at the same time. It isn't like i shouldn't have things to think about. I have a lot that i could be thinking about or stressing about i suppose. I just haven't been worrying about stuff lately. I have given it over and let the stress go.

I have became very thankful for what i have. The bills are paid, we have a roof over our head, clothes on our backs, food in our bellies, and shoes on our feet. We cant complain about how our life is going right now. Things are not perfect but tell me who's life really is!?!

I have found a lot of humor in the last few weeks. Just finding time to laugh instead of cry has made me feel that much better about how things are moving along. Marcus and I had been doing a bit of arguing about the whole TTC issue. He said i was pushing too hard and i felt like he didn't really want to take this step in our life. When we finally talked calmly about it (and i got him to open up cause he is a man and they don't like to share emotions) we found that we both wanted this but were both nervous about the change.

To try and "take the pressure off" and relax we have been spending more time just cuddling. We are watching movies at night after the kids go to bed and holding hands more. It really is helping not only with the TTC but also with just bringing us closer than we have been in years.

Don't get me wrong we have a wonderful marriage. We hardly ever have a fight and when we do it is never a huge someone stomps out of the house and leaves too cool off fight. We just had let the "new" feeling wear off. You know what i am talking about?

The feeling you have when you first start dating and then get engaged and get married! The feeling of holding their hand and looking into their eyes to find that you have butterflies in your belly. That feeling of desire that makes you just want to go rent a hotel room for one night and spread roses on the bed. That feeling of fire that just burns every time they brush up against you. Man that is an amazing feeling.

Over the last week we have found that again! I really don't know how we lost it in the first place. Maybe it was 2 pregnancies back to back, or raising the results of those 2 back to back pregnancies. Maybe it was the fact that he works all the time and when he comes home we are so worn out that we can barley find time to talk much less hold hands and watch a movie. Maybe it was both of those combined but either way we found the cure.

Just those few hours on the couch snuggled under a blanket watching a movie. Just the feel of his arm around my shoulders and his hand clasped in mine. Just the feeling i get when he makes me laugh or looks into my eyes and smiles. He gives me butterflies again and it is amazing. We are laughing with each other and oh how i love when he makes me smile. It was one of the reasons i fell in love with him.

We are in it for the long haul and no matter what others may see when they look at us, only we know what is in our hearts. I was watching an interview Barbra Walters did with Will Smith when he said, Divorce is not an option. And since it isn't an option we better find some way to be happy together cause it is gunna be awhile" or something of that. I really like that. Cause i think people often give up too easy. Marriage is hard work! You wont always agree and you wont always win every battle, but you do have to try. You have to remember why you love this person! What made you fall so hard for them. Rekindle the fire that you had in those first years. It is hard work but so worth the end result!

OK i am done being serious for today. I have give aways comments to go fill out! Oh what now you ask? Well Mel @ A Box of Chocolates is giving away a $25 gift certificate for Created By Chel! And if you want to find more great giveaways you can always check out Bloggy Carnival!


Mom24 said...

I'm glad you've found it again. It is a precious that's robbed all too easily by 'life'. Hang on to it a while.

Lisanne said...

Wow. What a beautiful blog entry. SO well written, Courtney. Good luck TTC! I had no idea!!!