Monday, September 22, 2008

Needing...Wanting An Answer

Ok so i am really becoming anxious about these results. I want them to be here today. I know it has only been a little over a week and they said 2 to 3 weeks but i want to know now.

Ok for those who don't know what is going on allow me to explain. When i first started dating my husband he told me that there was a girl who was pregnant and there was a possibility that it was his baby. I accepted that and we moved on. When she had the baby in August of 04 he asked to take a paternity test. She said there was no need. That someone had already been proven the father. I was hesitant to except that answer but we went on with life. Now we have 2 little boys of our own and a well put together life.

About a month ago she contacted my husband to take a paternity test (yes 4 years later). We told her that would be fine but only through the Child Support Office. She was reluctant to do that at first but finally she called them and they allowed her to drop the case against another man (who was her b/f at the time she got pregnant) and file one against my husband. Up to this point i was handling everything fine. I was thinking the process would take about 3 months or longer. Apparently i was wrong. They have implemented a new system for the paternity testing and now it takes 2 to 3 weeks to get the results.

They took the paternity test Friday, Sept. 12. They said it would be 2 to 3 weeks before we received the results. I was in shock. I was not ready for an answer that quickly. Now i have made it past that point and i want an answer now. I don't like the feeling of my life hanging in the balance. I have a million questions that need answers and they all revolve around what this paternity test says.

Hubby could call and get the results but he has been avoiding it all together. The actually have the results after about a week and if you call and they have them they will allow you to come pick them up instead of waiting on them to mail them out. Hubby doesn't wanna call. He isn't ready to know the truth. He wants to wait on the results to just show up. I cant handle the wait. I want the answer now. I need to know what path our life is going to take. I need to know what to prepare for.

I have all these questions going through my head. They all revolve around if he is his father. Will my kids be able to accept sharing their daddy with a new brother? Will i be able to accept the responsibility of being a step mother to a special needs child (He had a stroke when he was born and it cause damage to his brain. He is 4 with the mental capacity of a 2 year old. If he has another stroke he could be in a vegetative state.)? Is our love strong enough to survive the stress of a child this is his but not mine? What kind of impact will this have on our family in general? I have so many worries about this, but i need to have an answer to go off of.

If he is his father than we will handle it and if he isn't than we can go on with our life and forget about this situation. I just need to know. I need an answer. I need the results. I am sick of waiting. I just want this to be over.

1 comment:

Christina said...

These are a lot of hard questions for sure. I hope you get your answer soon! I think the waiting is the hardest part.