And this is Phabian now:
Now as i looked at these pictures i just stopped and tried to remember him as a baby. I found the memories so vivid and i relished in the fact he has gotten so smart and so big. At the same time i wondered how it is possible that my first born has gotten to be such a little man. When did this happen and how? I don't remember how we got here or when he grew up so fast.
MJ is also growing so so fast. He isn't my baby anymore. He still is a big mama's boy but he doesn't want to be as close anymore. He no longer wants as much cuddle time and he no longer insists on laying with me on the couch for a short nap. I miss it and i want it back *pout*.
Sometimes i wish i could just turn back time for a few moments and enjoy it more. I think as mom's sometimes we want them to hurry up and grow up and do this and walk and talk, and we don't just enjoy the time we have with them when they are small and want to cuddle with us. I miss my babies wanting to cuddle with me. I miss them snuggling their little head into my chest. I miss holding them while i fed them a bottle.
I think this is partly why i am so ready to have another one. I think about it and i don't know if i am ready for another one. No let me resay that you are never ready for another one but i don't think it is the right time to add to our family. I am just so missing the baby days.