Thursday, July 30, 2009

Crier, Crier Pants On Fire

I have always been an easy crier. I cry when i am overly happy. I cry when i am depressingly sad (or just sad in general). I cry when i am angry. I cry when i watch a movie. I cry when i read a story or a book. I cry when i see a picture. I cry for no reason what so ever sometimes.

Now before I get a comment about how i need medication and i am obviously depressed allow me to say i have always been like this. I am, in general, just a crier!

I am very empathetic and sympathetic (ever wonder why the root of both those words is pathetic?) towards others. I cannot hear someone else's story, be it happy or sad, without ending up in a mess of red faced, tear streaked glory. Sometimes i really don't know what to think about this.

It seems i am very in tune to not only my emotions but to everyone else's as well. I feel a persons joy, their anger, their sadness, their depression. Sometimes this seems like a curse as it gets very overwhelming to feel these emotions. I know i could never truly understand a grieving mother's pain or a cancer patients joy at beating the odds, but just being able to feel an ounce of that ton is more than i could ever take (i think at times, or maybe that just didnt come out right).

The whole point of this post is to tell you that right now i am on emotion overload. I, on top of being crier in general, am now a hormonal crier. This pregnancy has had me crying at least 5 times a day everyday. Usually having to do with a story i read or a movie i watch. Either way it seems i have had my fill this week.

It seems like no matter where i turn their is something sad happening.

It started with precious little Stellan going back to the hospital. I have prayed and prayed for this little man and it breaks my heart that he and his family have to fight this battle. I cry for him having to be so strong and brave at such a young age. I cry for him mother who has to be strong when on some days she just wants to scream at the top of her lungs. I cry for him siblings and father who want nothing more than for him to be whole and at home with them. Most of all i cry as i pray for God to take them all in his arms and protect them and heal them.

I cried this week because Mary Louise and David are home now after a long battle! I also cried because although they are home where they belong thier dear brother Kuylen is not their with them! It is heart breaking(for me to think about and i am sure for them to live with) to have two children thriving and still have to grieve the fact that their should be three.

And this morning just put the topper on my cake.

As i was reading through MomDot i found a link to Kambry's Light. I had never heard of this site but was forwarned by the post that i would probably cry. Yes i ventured on because apparently i enjoy making myself cry. This is a beautiful story about how a family is turning their loss into a great support for other women. When Barry and his wife found out the diagnosis of Trisomy 13 they felt horribly alone. They, however, took this time to figure out how they could help others to not feel so alone.

I cried a lot as i watched the slide show of beautiful Kambry. I cried even more as i read their story. Mostly i think i cried because i wish so badly that my sister had, had a place like this when she lost her angel Nadia. I wish she would have had someone who knew how she felt and was able to help her through those hard month leading up to and following Nadia's birth.

I have cried a lot this week. Both tears of happiness and sadness. Either way i am on an emotional overflow and dont think i can handle crying anymore. So in order to try and give you some joy in your day (after this rather depressing post) here is Greg from Telling Dad on how he feels about BlogHer '09.

P.S. I didn't go to BlogHer but have been reading all the posts about it. It seems some enjoyed and some didn't so either way check this out cause it is hilarious!


Lisanne said...

It seems like there have been SO many stories lately of pregnancy complications and infant deaths. It's just awful. :( I know what you mean about crying. I hope that your evening has been peaceful, though, and that you are getting some good rest! BlogHer is in NYC this time ~ maybe I should go?

casual friday every day said...

Oh, sweetness, you're not alone. I'm a crier and have been since a child. I, like you, and very sympathetic and empathetic and can't help myself. I think it's a beautiful quality in a person.


Halala Mama said...

Stellan's story got me too. I was checking Twitter for updates obsessively.