Baby Name Help!!!!

So i am in crisis!

No seriously, baby naming is a crisis for me.

I am not one of the women who waits to see the baby before she names it. I am a planner and always have had baby names picked out within the first 3 months; that way we already knew the name we would use regardless of boy or girl.

We did have names picked out. Or so i thought. For a boy we had a beautiful name! Now hubby has decided that he doesn't really like it anymore. He loves the middle name so now we are going to use that as a first name.

So the problem now is i cant find a middle name that sounds and fits well with the first name. It is driving me insane!!!

So here i am on my knees begging for name suggestions from you dear bloggy friends.

Baby Bug's first name has officially been dubbed (barring my husband's ever changing mind) Sione (pronounced C-O-Nay).

Some name we have ruled out are: Isaiah, Issac, Hunter, Alec, Francis (after my Mom's middle name), Julius (which was suppose to be the first name), and Julian.

The only name we can agree on is Ozmoni but i feel like it is a tongue twister when put all together and would possibly be h-e-double hockey sticks on my kids later on lol. So it is kind of a last resort of sorts.

What we are doing now is taking suggestions from everyone and making a list to pick from!

So please help me out and give me what ever you have. I really like uncommon names but since we are talking middle names and not first i am open to anything!

I would like it to have a nice flow with Sione (which means "God's Grace" for those wondering).

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

20 Week Belly Shots

For lack of anything better to post (also known as blogger block) i have for you my 20 week belly shots! I still can't believe that i am half way through this pregnancy. Maybe more than half way since i have never made it to 40 weeks with any of my previous pregnancies. Either way i am savoring every moment of this. Baby Bug is moving more and more theses days and his kicks are getting stronger. We are getting closer to picking a name although we are completely unsure of a middle name. With my husband's permission i think i might ask for your input with that part. We can't seem to find something that we really like and that fits. So look forward to a post asking for your participation!

Break Out The Blue...

The Bug is offically a boy! Yes you heard right we are adding one more healthy, bouncing, baby boy to our brood. We are throwing around names now! We have all but decided on a first name but are having a little difficulty for a middle name that fits. I will let you know as we go and maybe even let you have your say so lol. So for now to appease you all (as we know we all love a good US pic) are the US pics from today!

(in the very center a itty bitty foot)

(the best shot we got of the boy parts)

(a whole body shot! looks as though he is already a thumb sucker)

(a beautiful face shot of my little man)

Happy Father's Day

Before I go bragging about all my father figures I want to wish all the Fathers out there a Happy Father's Day! No one can do what you do and your role in life, although at times it may seems small, is no job to scoff at! Those are some big shoes to fill!

With that said...
Meet my Father-n-Law, Walt! He has been an awesome FIL! I could not have ask for a more loving man to come into my kids and my life. He has never been anything more than accepting of me and has always showed me the love that the whole family has to offer.

He is never one to back away from a good joke or a laugh. There are more than one occasion or holiday that include great memories of his picking and teasing.

Thank you Walt for accepting me into your family and treating me as a daughter. You will never know how much it means to me that you love me as one of your own and how you love my babies!

Meet my Dad, Jim! I dont think i could ever imagine another father so loving and so kind. Although my father and I have not always seen eye to eye (as most fathers and daughters) he has never been anything more than a loving father.

Growing up i was a huge Daddy's Girl! I wanted nothing more than to visit him in the Meat Shop and help him do his job. Many times over the years as a young child i remember going into his work and him stopping everything to give me what i wanted. I always got a big hug, a slice of bologna, and a slice of cheese. It was my favorite thing.

We went through a ruff time when my mother passed away. They had been together for most of their lives and he would never even have thought of looking at another woman. He set the boundries and standards that led me to my husband. He worked hard to make sure we had everything we needed. Food on the table, lights on to read, gas to warm and feed us, and beds to rest our head on. Who could ask for more.

Now as a grandfather to my kids i still couldnt ask for more. He loves those kids more than anyone could imagine and would go to the end of the earth for us. He calls to check on us and comes by to see us. He always brings something for the kids even if it is something we dont really need.

He is what all fathers should be aspire to be.

Last but certainly never least is my handsome husband and father to my beautiful kids, Marcus!

What can i say about this man that i havent already said? He is not only a great father to his own kids but has a soft spot in his heart for all children. He has always even as a young 18 year old taken a leadership role with the community sports teams. He has couched kids in everything from softball, baseball, basketball, and football! Never allowing them to giveup on themselves or to feel that they werent giveing their best.

Now with his own kids he is the same gentle man he has always been. He loves his kids more than life itself and i have no doubt that, God forbid, something should happen to me my kids would be in the best hands possible. He is always ready to show them new things and play a game of baseball in the backyard. He is always prepared to kiss a boo boo or tuck them back in when they have a bad dream. He is a solid comforter to not only me but his children.

He talks to The Bug (which after tomorrow will have a name i think i will share). He lays his head near my belly or a hand on it and talks to the little baby forming inside me. For that matter at this point Bug will only kick for him! The moment his voice is hearable to the child inside me Bug starts kicking away!

He has never missed a doctor's appointment (before or after birth), school event, practise, important event in his kids lives. He is the most involved father i could have been blessed with for my children's father.

He works hard (sometimes 60 hour weeks) to make sure we have everything we need and want. I have never seen a more dedicaed father than the man i married. I doubt he will ever truly know how much he is loved and appreciated.

So today is for these men that i admire and many, many more. I hope they know today of all days how much they are loved!

They Make It Hard

So my kids have a secret!

Its more of a trick so to speak!

I am not convinced that it is unlike any other trick that kids pull to get out of something they don't want to do but all the same it is a sneaky trick!

My kids, every night, after i lay them down to bed to finish watching a movie get up a million times.

They don't get up to use the bathroom...

They don't get up to ask for a drink...

They don't get up to have mommy kiss a boo boo...

Why then may you ask?!?

My kids get up for a hug!!!

Now this may not be odd to anyone. I am sure there are a million other kids who do this same thing. However, I am struggling with my ways of handling this properly.

Marcus seems to think we should tell them no and to go get in bed. I would go with that if i didn't feel like the worst mommy ever for telling a 3 and 4 year old that they cant have a hug.

At the same time how can i correct this behavior if i cant tell them no. How may hugs are ok before i cut them off?

I really feel tremendous Mommy Guilt (and don't act like you don't know what Mommy Guilt is!) if i tell them that they cant have a hug until the movie goes off or that i already gave them a hug tonight.

This can sometimes go on for hours. A tedious balance between hugs and frustration that they wont stay in bed. Why can't it be simpler with them like the glass of water that i could just say no to? Of course the i suppose i would feel like i was making them thirst to death!

So how would you handle it? Would you say no to these faces?

A Thousand Words Thursday 7

God Promises A Safe Landing, Not A Easy Flight

I saw this on a church board as we drove down the street yesterday. It seems like a simple statement but it means so much. I pondered on the words for a long time as we drove home and laid the kids down for a nap.

My flight of life has not really been easy per say. I have not experienced some of the horrible things that others have but i have experience my own trials and tribulations. I have come through a lot to get where i am today.

Although i do not attend church faithfully i do pray and i trust in God (what ever he or she may look like) to lead me in the right direction. Although the path sometimes gets twisted with our day to day life i have faith that i will be on the right path in the end.

I started this post off with a picture of my husband Marcus and I at a Valentine's Day Dance this past February. We look as happy as can be. Like nothing in the world could tear us down. And for the most part this is true. What you don't see is the blow up we had a month before this.

Marriage isn't easy! Now that has to be the understatement of the year right. Anyone who is or has been married can tell you that the melting of two separate lives together is not easy or as smooth as one would like to think. Even those who consider themselves soulmates (as my husband and I do) have a ruff road of it.

From furniture to tv shows, from cars to finances, from kids to household chores, everyone or anyone of these things can cause stress in a marriage. Things seem to rear their ugly heads at just the right time as to cause a crack between the two of you. You then have a choice to heal the crack or to let it develop into a deep, dark canyon.

I do know that there are unforgivable things that cause a marriage to end without there being anything either person can do to fix them. Domestic violence (whether it be mental, emotional, or physical) is something no man or woman should have to put up with. No one should live through that. Although it is a matter of opinion, adultery isn't something that should be tolerated or overlooked in a marriage (although i do think there are times when it can be forgiven and the offending party given a second chance). Controlling ways in either spouse can be a quick downfall in a marriage if the party is not willing to work on it. All of these, and i am sure more, are legitimate reasons why a marriage can fail without ever having tried to succeed.

I heard once, i am not sure where now, that if you enter into marriage with the word divorce already in your vocabulary, and divorce as an easy out option, then you are destine to end the marriage before it has even began. I think this quote has some heavy truth to it.

In our 4 1/2 year marriage we have brought up divorce only once. I hate to even admit it really! It makes me sad to even think that we let out emotions get to the point where we believed that it was an option. It was I who brought it up. I had gotten to a point where i had a choice to make. I had to either let that crack grow or heal it over.

Finally one night as we laid down for bed i just could not hold it in any longer. I started to cry at fist over nothing then over the emotions that bubbled up inside me. Marcus confused by my sudden outburst ask what was wrong. That was all it took for me to turn into a mix of blubbering, resentful, anger and frustration.

That night i told him how frustrated i was having no help from him as far as the chores went. How i wished he would play with the kids more when he got off work so i could have an hour to breathe. How i need him to help me make decisions over bills and money rather than leaving the responsibility up to me. I poured my heart out telling him all that emotions that had been bubbling inside of me for so long.

I explained to him that i refused to be unhappy in my marriage. We either had to fix our problems or i was done. I could not force myself to put on a happy face when all was not well. Then and there as i cried in his arms i told him how much i loved him but that i felt like we were a million miles apart and drifting farther. We fell asleep that night with the promise to one another that we would work to make it better.

And we did. We work had to find time for him and I. We try to plan dates for us when we can. When we cant we spend our evenings watching movies or TV at home. He helps with what i ask him to and sometimes even does it before i have to ask. We are still working hard. We are by no means perfect. I hope to never have to bring up the word divorce ever again.

From now on we talk before it all explodes. I tell him how i am feeling and he tells me how he feels. We both roll our eyes sometimes and we both have our days where we just don't feel like trying but we give it 150 percent on days to make up for days where we may have only give 80. We are a work in progress.

So while we are on this bumpy flight of life where we know to expect anything and dismiss nothing, all we can do is trust that we will, in the end, have had calm and happy landing. The path we are on may twist and turn and we may fall off but we get up and try again each day to find our way.

Wordless/Wordful Wednesday 12

These are from out trip to Florida when we went to Gatorland in Orlando. It was a site to behold and the kids had a field day. They loved every minute of the Alligators, Crocodiles, Birds, Farm Animals and especially the Leucistic Alligators (which are not to be mistaken for Albino Alligators)!
Above is Chester! He is the biggest Gator at Gatorland. He is 13 foot long and weights about a half a ton. He looks small in the picture but he is a monster.


And this is our escaped Goat friend! He kept jumping gout of the fence between two rungs that were just not close enough together. We spent a good 30 minutes playing with him and MJ wanted to take him home but we had to decline. Although i am sure hubby would have love an automatic grass cutter, i am also sure that the city would have saddled us with one heck of a fine for our farm animal friend.

How Did We Get Here?

No this is not a post about Evolution or God! This is just me trying to figure out how we got from this:

And this:

To where we are. As i go through this pregnancy knowing it is most likely my last i look at everything with awe and amazement. I have went from so excited on March 6th at finding out i was pregnant to almost the half way mark approaching on June 24th. It is flying by so, so fast. I almost wish i could slow it down so that i could enjoy it more.

Soon fall will be upon us and i will be holding a new baby in my arms. I know that things will only become more bittersweet as time goes by. It almost makes me break down and cry right now at the thought of the time flying by. I know that this baby, my bug, will grow fast.

Soon a year will pass and we will be celebrating all the firsts like sitting up, crawling, and walking. Then there will be a first birthday to plan and my newborn baby will quickly fade into toddlerhood.

I look at my boys and i ask myself what road led here. When did they get so big and so smart. They were just babies in my arms not to long ago and now they are both going to school and learning and exploring a world unknown to them.

I can recall the days when i laid in bed with Phabian all day long and had nothing better to do than take hundreds of pictures. I remember coming home with MJ and babying him for longer than i should have because i knew i would not hold an infant for a long time to come. And i am damn sure that this baby will be spoiled beyond belief and babied to no end.

It is bitter sweet as the time passes by so fast and i know nothing lasts forever. The sweet smell of baby will soon enough leave my home and the thought of that makes me want to scream out at the top of my lungs for the world to stop spinning and give me more time to enjoy my blessings.

I look forward to what the future holds but at the same time i want father time to slow down. I love watching all the new things my children learn and develop as they grow but i want them to be careful and not grow up too fast. This world is going to force them to grow fast and i am not sure any of us have a choice in that matter.

I just need to remember to breathe. Take in the scent of baby shampoo and bubbles! Take the hugs and kisses when they are offered! Hold them a little too long and file away their smiles in my mind forever. These moments will get farther apart as time flies on and one day i hope they understand why mommy wanted to hold them for that extra minute!

A Thousand Words Thursday 6

I try very hard to expose my kids to different aspects of life. To show them that not every family is the same and that we are all different. I want to expand their minds to include diversity not as something bad but as something special, unique, and wonderful.

Our family in itself is diverse. We are a interracial family. My children themselves are biracial and diverse. They will never fit into one category nor should any of us. There is no box for them to check that says exactly who they are and nor should there be for any of us.

Something i take my kids to every year is the Pride Week here is Charleston. There are picnics, parades, performances, and friends. I have long been a member of the gay community. I (and i say this with all knowledge that this could make me lose some of my readers) have always considered myself to be bisexual. I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman for 4 years prior to meeting and marrying my husband. A lot of my close friends are gay and i love each of them.

I know, and i have fought with, the fact that many religions banish homosexuals as sinners, but aren't we all sinners. Who are we to judge and throw the first stone. Who are we to say that our sins are less than the sins of another of God's creations. It wasn't long ago that i would have been cast out and considered a sinner for marrying a black man (not to mention that some religions still believe that marrying outside your race is a sin).

Either way, i want to teach my children tolerance and love! I want them to know that love looks different for everyone. I want them to know that they have no right to judge anyone but themselves and in the end God will judge us all for himself. I think these are the most important lessons that Jesus taught when he walked with us on Earth. He taught love, tolerance, and patience. Those are the lessons i pass on to my kids.

Wordless/Wordful Wednesday 11

This handsome boy right here

Has a surprise!

He has been wearing big boy undies...

Since Monday morning. He has only had a few accidents but apparently he has developed a fear of the big potty. Although he has went 2 whole days with no accidents in his underwear he has pooped and peed in my floor several times. I don't really know what to do as he was peeing in the potty fine up til now. I don't know if it is a rebellious thing or if he is really scared of the potty. I guess we will be investing in a little potty and seeing if that helps. Either way i am so proud of my big boy and his big boy ways.

His reward if he makes it to Friday!!!! A all expense paid trip to Chuck E. Cheese! Isn't that every kids dream come true lol!

17 Week Appt

So i am officially 17 weeks. Almost half way there. It seems like it has really flown by fast so far. I am trying to savor every minute of it since this could be my last (barring any surprises). I have been feeling a lot of movement. Bug has on and off days. Today was a on day and Bug was moving around like crazy. I really love being able to feel Bug move around this early as i really do want to enoy and take in as much as possible.

My appointment went great today. I am down 3 lbs since my last appointment which puts me -2 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. My midwife doesnt seem to concerned about it. Since i was overweight before my pregnancy she really is only looking for me to gain between 10 and 15 lbs. My BP is great. 108/70 which is my normal. Bugs heart beat was great ranging between 160 and 180. Bug was moving so much that she had to take it twice just to be sure of a number. We chatted for a long time about how i have been feeling and what i am looking for in this birth. I really am loving my midwives. They so ginuwinly care. They also did my CBC (i think thats what it was called) to check for downs and other things but told me not to worry too much as they have a high rate of false positives.

They are scheduling my US for sometime the end of next week or beginning of the next. I am so excited and nervous. I have no clue why but i think it has to do with my uncertainity about whether Bug is a girl or boy. With Phabian and MJ i just knew they were both boys even though i wanted MJ to be a girl. This time i am at a loss. Everyone else thinks it is a girl but i just dont know and i dont really have a feeling about it this go around.

So just for kicks here are a few 17 week belly pics. Please excuse the cars towel on my head, the saggy boobs, and the spandex dress lol. I had just gotten out of the shower and couldnt find anything else to put on except this tube dress that i bought when i was like 16 (and have no clue why it is still in my home lol).

Wordless/Wordful Wednesday 10

There are all kinds of flowers growing all around me! They just keep popping up out of no where. Beautiful colors ranging from bright pinks to dark purples. I am in love with it all. I cant stop taking pictures and it is so fresh and wonderful. I love coming out of a drab winter surrounding into a colorful spring and summer. It revives me (well except the exhausting heat).

We Have Winners!!!

First and foremost i would like to give a big thank you to all those who entered my giveaway and to Chelsie at N.A.Jade Designs for providing such beautiful products for my first giveaway. Without further ago here are the winners:
The winner of our Korker Ribbon Flip Flops is Teresa from Grammy Girlfriend! This is what she said:

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

i love the flip flops.....the giveaways are so much fun....

May 25, 2009 12:00 PM

And the winner of our adorable Floral Headband is Steph from Adventures in Babywearing. Here is what she had to say:

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I LOVE those headbands! Don't you think Ivy would look smashing?? They look like real flowers!

Steph

May 24, 2009 10:40 AM

Ladies, Chelsie will be contacting you soon to get all the details about what you would like your order to look like. I hope that you enjoy your N.A.Jade Designs and if you feel like sharing take a picture and tell us about what you won when you get it.

For those of you who did not win this time around i hope you will consider heading over to Chelsie's new blog and contacting her about making you a custom item. Her new blog is, well, new and not quite all up and running but you can also contact her at:

N (dot) A (dot) JadeDesigns (at) gmail (dot) com

She loves to make what you need or want. So feel free to get in contact with her and let her know what you would like. Remember all things are hand made. She has just about any color you could want and can make beautiful creations to match any outfit. She also will add lovely hand placed Swarovski Crystals if requested on her custom pieces.

Make sure to support our fellow mother in her new adventure in business. I know we all have had those times when we wish we could just do it our way and that is what N.A.Jade Designs is all about! Doing it the way you want it!

Again thank you all for making my first giveaway so much fun!!!