Sunday, June 14, 2009

How Did We Get Here?

No this is not a post about Evolution or God! This is just me trying to figure out how we got from this:
And this:

To where we are. As i go through this pregnancy knowing it is most likely my last i look at everything with awe and amazement. I have went from so excited on March 6th at finding out i was pregnant to almost the half way mark approaching on June 24th. It is flying by so, so fast. I almost wish i could slow it down so that i could enjoy it more.

Soon fall will be upon us and i will be holding a new baby in my arms. I know that things will only become more bittersweet as time goes by. It almost makes me break down and cry right now at the thought of the time flying by. I know that this baby, my bug, will grow fast.

Soon a year will pass and we will be celebrating all the firsts like sitting up, crawling, and walking. Then there will be a first birthday to plan and my newborn baby will quickly fade into toddlerhood.

I look at my boys and i ask myself what road led here. When did they get so big and so smart. They were just babies in my arms not to long ago and now they are both going to school and learning and exploring a world unknown to them.

I can recall the days when i laid in bed with Phabian all day long and had nothing better to do than take hundreds of pictures. I remember coming home with MJ and babying him for longer than i should have because i knew i would not hold an infant for a long time to come. And i am damn sure that this baby will be spoiled beyond belief and babied to no end.

It is bitter sweet as the time passes by so fast and i know nothing lasts forever. The sweet smell of baby will soon enough leave my home and the thought of that makes me want to scream out at the top of my lungs for the world to stop spinning and give me more time to enjoy my blessings.

I look forward to what the future holds but at the same time i want father time to slow down. I love watching all the new things my children learn and develop as they grow but i want them to be careful and not grow up too fast. This world is going to force them to grow fast and i am not sure any of us have a choice in that matter.

I just need to remember to breathe. Take in the scent of baby shampoo and bubbles! Take the hugs and kisses when they are offered! Hold them a little too long and file away their smiles in my mind forever. These moments will get farther apart as time flies on and one day i hope they understand why mommy wanted to hold them for that extra minute!

1 comment:

Shirliana said...

I remember having those same kinds of thoughts when my kids were smaller. Women! We are a cool bunch! It feels so good to relate to someone with the same thoughts and ideas. :)

You sound happy. :) Im so glad! Sometimes pregnancies are tough. :)