Monday, February 1, 2010

Those Eyes

I am reading a book. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold which as most know has been made into a movie. I don't know if i have a desire to see the movie but i am thoroughly into the book. This is why i like fiction books. Sometimes they make you think. Think about things and situations you might never experience. They make you see things from a different point of view.

This book has made me think a lot. Things change over time. We change over time. We grow older, become wiser, love harder, fall further. And sometimes one tiny event can change and sculpt our whole lives.

As i read further into this book i think often about my Grandma and how it must have felt for her to watch her child leave this earth before her. I do not know this pain, although i recognize all to many people do. I also think about my sister Chelsie and how it hurt her more than anyone could have ever expressed when she said goodbye to her little angel. I hope to never experience this pain.

As i watch the characters in this book and how their lives are all shaped and transformed by the death of their daughter/sister/friend/neighbor it reminds me all to well that life is priceless and we are never guaranteed another day.

I look deep into the eyes of my children and husband i try to picture them not in my life. All i can get it an empty void. A hollow place in my heart that the meer thought of brings on a teary blur in my vision. I can not fathom my child not coming home from school or not waking up in the morning. I dont want to think that anything of this nature could ever touch our family. But alas we are not immune to life and its twists and turns.

All we can do is live each day to its fullest. Love with all of our heart. Shed all of our locks and chains and let anyone in who wants in. If they hurt us all we are left to do is pick up the pieces and start over again.

Life is a long journey of laughs, heart aches, smiles, tears, bright lights, and dark cornors. It all in the end, if we follow the path chosen for us, and learn the lessons along the way with an open and grateful heart, leads to a fuller, happier, more love filled life.

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