...

I dont really know what to say here. I dont want to be a debby downer but right now i just dont have a lot of positive stuff to say.

Im homesick. When we planned this move i never though i would miss "home" so bad. I never thought i would miss my friends and family so bad. I guess you never know until you do it and then....well you just find out.

Something that has come out of this that i never expected is that i have learned how much i truly am thankful for my MIL.

When i first got married to my husband i never really thought of his family as my family. Even after almost 8 years of marriage if you would have ask me before we moved i would have told you i loved his family but didnt really know where i fit in with them.

Now...i know where i was and where i fit in. His mother is my mother. His family is my family. As someone who lost her mother at a young age i couldnt have ask for a better family to marry into.

I miss my MIL terribly. And not just because i have no one to watch my kids but because it took me moving 500 miles away to realize how much we are loved and wanted. I feel guilty because i feel like i ripped my kids away from the only grandmother they knew and i feel like in a way i ripped myself away from the only mother i have know since my mother passed away.

Sometimes i just want to pack all of our things and go "home". I want to run as fast as i can back to the place i feel most comfortable. But my reasons for moving my family here are still the same.

I still feel there is a better life for us here. More opportunities. More chances to better live the life that we have dreamed of.

I just have to get past this hurdle of homesickness. I have to get out and find my place in this new city. I have to reach out and grab hold of the new life we have ventured into.

If you could please, send some prayers my way. Pray for God to lighten my load, brighten my outlook, and aid in my strength.