Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I Haven't Had Time

Or maybe i just haven't taken the time to notice. My babies are growing. Too old, too big, too fast!

Someone posted this poem on facebook the other day:

Hand Print On The Wall

One day as i was picking
the toys up off the floor,
I noticed a small hand print
on the wall beside the door.

I knew that it was something
that i'd seen most everyday,
but this time when i saw it there
I wanted it to stay.

Then tears welled up inside my eyes
as i knew the print wouldn't last,
I saw that in the days ahead
my children would grow up too fast.

Just then i put the chores aside
and held my children tight,
I sang to them sweet lulabies
and rocked them through the night.

Sometimes we take for granted
all those things that seem so small.
Like one of God's great treasures...
A small handprint on the wall.

Author Unknown

It made me bawl. But more importantly it made me take a moment a really think about my boy. They arent so little anymore.

On Wednesday Phabian will start 2nd grade and MJ will enter 1st. Next fall Sione will begin Head Start. They are 7, 6, and 2 3/4. They are all potty trained. They can all walk and talk in full sentences. They can dress themselves and pick out their own clothes.

Phabian is capable (and willing) to fix himself and his brothers PB&Js for lunch. MJ reads to Sione. Sione, well, he is just a mess (but a cute one).

Sometimes i just wonder where all the time is goin and why its going so fast. I have a million pictures to show that these boys were once little babies in my arms. I use to be able to fit all 3 of them in my lap at the same time. Now...well now i can barley fit Phabian in my lap at all.

I just want to slow them down. Tell them to not grow so fast. That being an adult isnt all its cracked up to be. But most importantly...

I need more time. I need ever second. To instill in them responsibility, compassion, empathy, respect, love, morals, patients, values, and all the other things that moms are suppose to teach their kids.

We are only given such a short time to teach them so much. It isnt long enough. I need longer. I want longer. But short fleeting time is what i have. And as my Mama always taught me to do I am making the best of it. One day at a time. One lesson following another.

I just feel like im going to blink and they will be gone, out into the world where i can no longer shelter them from the harsh truths of adulthood. 

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