Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Time

It keeps going. No matter what I do. No matter where I go. It just keeps ticking on.

My kids are growing up. They are getting bigger both physically and mentally. I am wondering now how to protect them.

There are a lot of things they need protecting from in the world. There is also that fine line between when to step in and when to step back.

Phabian is starting to hear things from other kids. Things we have not talked about yet. Things I don't even know how to begin to address with a almost 6 year old.

I knew the day would come when the "talk" would be had. I even knew it was coming fast. I however wasn't prepared when Phabian came home from school the other day and told me that a friend was telling him about a girl that "sexed" him.

I just stared blank faced along with my husband. I knew Phabian was waiting on a response but I was stunned.

Then my husband and I almost synchronized said what does sexed mean.

Phabian said it meant the girl took his shirt off. Then he ran off to play. We were left breathing a sigh of relief but still knowing it was time for that "talk" to be had.

This is where we are now...how? What? Who?

Should his father and I approach the subject with him together or just one of us? Should we include MJ in the talk since he starts kindergarten in July or wait til a different, but inevitable, time approaches? How much is too much information for a 6 year old? And how do we express to him that this is something to be discussed at home and not at school?

I feel adrift in a storm. I knew it was coming so why are we so unprepared?

Any help is appreciated and needed. I am soliciting advice. Books, shows, anything to help us along.

Tell me your stories cause I really need the help.

3 comments:

Laura McIntyre said...

Aww honey it is just hard - i hate being out of control with Rebecca in school and not knowing just what she is hearing and seeing . She called our cat gay the other day and it surprised me as i am not sure it is a word we have ever used around the children (they have been around plenty of gay people we have just never felt the need to seperate gay from straight yet) .

I think you just need to try and be open and honest - but keeping it age appropriate . Ask him questions to find out just what he wants to know and let him lead the way.

Parenting is so difficult i know.

Dianne Mize said...

What beautiful children!

Never having been a mom, but being proudly a great aunt, I would not dare give advice. As I watch my nephew handling these things, I'm in awe and feel some gratitude it's not me. His approach is to do what you and your husband did: ask questions to clarify as things come up and to keep all lines of communication open so his boys feel no hesitation or reservations talking with him.

My best to you in this most important of all endeavers, that of being a parent.

clearmirror3 said...

As a mother, grandmother and teacher I also often was unprepared for topics children brought up for discussion. The way I got through it was to answer any question simply but honestly. It seemed to work. They were always happy with this tactic. I never felt it was appropriate to keep it for later to wait for both parents to be present. I often called to my other child so both were present when a topic such as this came up for discussion. Sometimes the sibling answered it!
Your children are beautiful.