Day 1 Recap/Day 2

So yesterday was not as successful as i would have liked. I had plans to just quit cold turkey. Halt all smoking activity and never look back. That is not exactly how it went. I did good yesterday till about 11am. At 11 i found myself walking to the local general store (which is only a block away) and buying the cheapest pack of cigarettes i could find. As i walked i felt like i was 15 all over again trying to sneak and hope that no one saw me. It was really pathetic. So i bought the cigarettes, which cost me $2.30. I smoked one immediately which made me light headed and a bit sick to my stomach. In total yesterday i smoked 9 cigarettes. This is good for me. I have/had a pack and a half a day habit so cutting in one day for 30 cigarettes to 10 cigarettes is a feet in itself. I am not completely happy but i am impressed that i did that well. I also am not allowing myself to smoke indoors. This means that i have to bare the cold or whatever the whether is like to go out and smoke. The 30 degree whether at 8am can be quite discouraging lol. Also kids tearing my house apart while i am outside can also make me not wanna go out.

So today is day 2 and i think i have a new plan. Since i have found out that i did have the ability to cut down from 30 to 10 in just one day, i am going to do the slim down method that my Aunt used. For the first week i will smoke 10 a day (now if i don't need them all i wont but if i do i will but never over the amount allowed), the next week i will cut down to 8, then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The last week i will cut it out completely. I do know that this is a bit of a cop out of sorts. I wish i had the strength and determination to just stop. I want to i really do but it is so hard and i can be so weak sometimes. So we are going to try this and yes it will take awhile to edge the amount down and yes it will prolong the fact of actually quitting but maybe it will work better for me. My body will have time to adjust to less and less nicotine and i can slowly find new habits to replace bad ones.

That brings me to a new questions. For those of you who have quit or know someone who have quit, what did they or you do to replace the habit. I am fine as long as i am busy but the minute i stop to rest or anything a cigarette is the first thing my mind goes to. I have tried chewing gum and that just doesn't work for me. I have to keep my hands busy. Like when i am typing here in my blog or cooking dinner i am fine. So does anyone have any ideas? I just have to find something to keep my hands busy with that doesn't cost money or take up too much room lol.

Last Time/Day 1

Ok so i had my last cigarette at 11pm last night. So far this morning i am doing ok. I am not ready to kill anyone i am not losing my mind and i am not screaming. I am a little antsy and i am feeling the need to eat something. It is the hand/mouth addiction. I am so use to having something going from my hand to my mouth that food is the only other option in my brain. Of course i dont wanna gain 50 lbs while i am quitting so eating is not an option. I have thought about suckers since that would help the hand to mouth but i dont if anything at this point will really actally help besides time.

What is really hard is that my body associates everything with smoking. I am sitting at the computer and sipping coffee and my body is screaming, "where the f**k is my cigarette you b***h"! I am so use to my morning routine. I get up have a cigarette while i wait on my coffee to brew, go to the bathroom, get a cup of coffee, if i have finished that cigarette light another. It is a never ending cycle.

I am so scared to fail. I did everything that the American Lung Association tells you to do. I set a date (today), i rid my whol ehouse of anything pretaining to cigarettes or smoking, and i told all my friends and family (including you guys here in bloggyland) so that it wouldnt be easy to back out on my attempt. So for now i am on the right track. I am doing ok. Surprisingly ok!!!!